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Are you in a Relationship?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Our lovley and best two mods helen and Jo ask me to post this thead up 
Are you in a Relationship
1. What things would u do with them?
2. How does it make u feel being in a relationship long/sort term?
3. How did you get together?
Are you in a Relationship
1. What things would u do with them?
2. How does it make u feel being in a relationship long/sort term?
3. How did you get together?
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Well, we lived close and we had seen each other around a lot, then one day he asked me if I would babysit the children whenever he went on a date (he was on a dating site at the time). I did, and I wasn't too keen because I had fancied him for ages! I remember our first hug though, he got back once and told me it hadn't gone very well, and then as I was leaving he hugged me and we sort of lingered. I guess it went from there really. We started texting a lot, I'd go over to his when the kids were in bed and we would just hang out, then one day he just kissed me.
Being in a relationship is amazing (when it's good, obviously). Of course, all relationships have ups and downs. At the start of the relationship you have that period of time where you just can't seem to leave each other alone, like you're life just instantly brightens as soon as you're with your partner and it stays bright the whole time. That bit of the relationship is lovely, but I do admit that for me, falling in love and realising it, and moving in together, and getting engaged, and all of the lovely personal moments during a relationship that nobody else will ever be aware of, they're the best.
I guess you just do what you enjoy as a couple. We used to love watching movies together, or walk the dog for hours as we lived right near some lovely country walks, we used to go to the garden centres and have a drink and a look around, we used to take the kids out, we used to go shopping at different places... tons of stuff that couples can do.
1. What things would u do with them? - We do everything together, although we have our own interests and hobbies as well. We go out for meals, go on holidays, goto theme parks, go travelling, cook together, eat together e.t.c. All the mushy stuff people hate.
2. How does it make u feel being in a relationship long/sort term? - Very happy. We've been together about 12 years in total and been friends for 14.
3. How did you get together? - Met at college.
Awwww
I want to be married!!!
What is it about being married that appeals to you? Do you think your relationship with your partner will change when you get married?
Whowhere - do you think marriage changed things with you and your partner?
1. What do we do together? Weekend stuff. Currently work in different places during the week, but get most weekends together. Settled down to the dull reality that that means a mix of fun stuff and domestic life. Hoovering, cooking nice meals, laundry, lazy lie ins listening to music and radio 4 comedy. During the week we chat on FaceTime.
2. How does it make you feel? Chilled, relaxed, comfy, and like I've got a comfort blanket. It also hurts, really hurts each time I say goodbye and when I've had a crap day and work means that we're hundreds of miles apart. Mega highs and some ouchy lows.
3. How did we get together? Met at work, took an incredibly long time to take things beyond purely professional but glad we did.
It's hard to say really, we're still very happy, and it brought with it extra emotional security, you know the other person will be there for you no matter what, and if you have a fall out I think you will try harder to fix it. The other side is you now introduce the person as your husband or wife, which to me seems more grown up as calling them your boyfriend/girlfriend and not quite as poncey as saying partner.
There seems to be a mindset in society that 'boy/girlfriend' has something transient about it, and doesn't get taken as seriously. Like you say, partner sounds poncey - but it seems to be what I end up resorting to. At times it's almost tempting to get engaged just to simplify things.
Looking at next job moves, job locations, home locations, living arrangements etc etc around a boy/girlfriend somehow gives a very different impression to husband/wife/fiance.
Using the term "partner" sounds a bit staid and old fashioned to my ears, though I don't particularly like boyfriend/girlfriend either as that sounds a bit teenage. "Other half" and "significant other" can eff right off as well.
Perhaps "person with whom I smoosh genitals?
Agreed, unless there's a baby involved then you can almost be made to feel like you're 'playing house'. Interesting...
It's a weird one, that I can't really see any easy ways around. Seem to need a baby or a ring to make things definite and not just a game. Personally, 3 sets of house keys struck me as pretty firm but not in the eyes of the outside world.
We seem to go to the cinema and hang out at mine a fair bit. We eat out and cook together, and go to pubs. He has a little boy and we're looking at going to zoos and all sorts of things that he might enjoy because he spends most weekends with his little one so once things look like they might be getting serious I'll get to meet his son. I'm really aware that I don't want to ever put him in a position were he feels he has to choose one or the other, because I know he would always choose his son - and rightly so!
Short term - I feel a little insecure about it because of a few issues: We live about an hour away from each other and his ex who his son lives with seems to like to make it difficult whenever she likes for whatever reason, so I am worried that she'll take umbrage to me being in his life. She has several moderate mental health issues and she seems to have huge mood swings.
Long term: although it's very early days I'd like to hope that it'll go all the way. We're both wanting a solid long term thing, partially because of his son and I think because we're both wanting to settle down in the next few years. But like I said things are very early days.
We got together after using the tinder app. I've had lots of dates in the past year where as I was only the second he had had in a year