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Phone fear.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys,
I really panic when it comes to making a phone call to people I don't know. Most of the time I don't even try because even the thought is scary, I've only tried once but I hung up before it got to the actual talking to someone.
I'd say this is important, and probably the thing I feel I need to get over quickly.
I just wondered if any of you guys have any tips on how to make it a bit less scary? Someone suggested that writing a few bullet points for what I'm going to say can sometimes help. Do any of you know of any other things I could do too?
I really panic when it comes to making a phone call to people I don't know. Most of the time I don't even try because even the thought is scary, I've only tried once but I hung up before it got to the actual talking to someone.
I'd say this is important, and probably the thing I feel I need to get over quickly.
I just wondered if any of you guys have any tips on how to make it a bit less scary? Someone suggested that writing a few bullet points for what I'm going to say can sometimes help. Do any of you know of any other things I could do too?
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You're not alone, there are so many people who panic when making phone calls, myself included. I've found writing down what you want to say and pre-planning different answers/comments/replies etc can really help as you just have to read it off the paper, or edit an answer a little to make it fit what's been said, even though it can be rather time consuming before hand! Although I've found the writing things down before has calmed me enough (and in a way, prepared me) so I'm in a state to call the person. You could also try doodling whilst on the phone, it can calm you enough so you can talk and hopefully stop you panicking as much whilst being distracting enough in a way that you can still talk and think about what you're saying but your mind is busy enough so you don't panic as much. On the bullet points, you could maybe make a cue card with points/words to refer to if you lose or forget what you're saying as this could make you panic or you could just play with it in your hands. (Personally, I find fiddling with things whilst on the phone very helpful)
Sorry this isn't very good but I do hope you're able to get over this soon. *hugs*
Best wishes,
Frankie.
I'm really not sure what to suggest, however, I wanted to reassure you that having a phone fear isn't an uncommon issue, and can often surround anxiety. I know personally, I find talking to people face to face easier, as I don't have to worry about their facial expressions, etc. So basically, being able to see non verbal cues!
You could allow yourself to create an anxiety hierarchy, something we learnt in Psychology, to come over the fear, and it's taking it at a pace you feel comfortable, you basically pick tasks, phone related, even if the first one is just putting your phone next to your ear, and then calling a family member, etc, but the hierarchy really depends on who you struggle to talk with.
You could also work on your anxiety, for example, considering therapies like CBT, or even using self help tips, like Mindfulness, TheSite.org have a great article on Anxiety worth checking out if you haven't done already!
After making difficult phone calls, give yourself a reward and cheer lead yourself on, tell yourself I can do this, and once finished, tell yourself, you've done it, but again, it's taking it at your pace! I also have a bit of a habit writing down things I want to say, users like Baa Ram Ewe, and MythicallyMindfull will know I never shut up when I phone :P
But do keep us updated on how you're doing,
Best wishes,
WhisperOfTheHeart
Say for example, it was a life or death situation, and I needed to just pick up the phone without even thinking and ring someone.. Does anyone know of any ways on how to quickly make it any easier in that moment?
All those tips look really helpful. Sometimes with these things it can just be a case of practice - if you can get to the stage of doing it (armed with a set of coping strategies), then even if it's difficult you can start to teach yourself that you can do it.
There are lots of places you could phone where it's not important how it goes (like phoning a cinema to ask when something's on, a shop to see when they're open or if they have something in stock etc.) which might be a good way of practicing.
I was just wondering if there are things you could do to try and narrow down what it is exactly that worries you about calling people you don't know. Maybe you could think about:
Also - doing what you're doing now and talking about it
Thanks.
I can talk to my close family on the phone and my uni friend.
Talking to people that I don't know, in person, is just as hard. Like, I can do it, but I panic and it takes me a little while before I'll actually start talking properly. I think it's mostly aspergers related though, and people that don't know just think I'm being rude. If I ever used to go and meet new people with my ex for some reason, he'd warn them straight away about the aspergers, which I was never particularly keen on. It's not something I like to randomly bring up with people I don't know/trust.
I'm not sure what worries me about it, I just get really panicked and I feel scared when it comes down to it.
Over this past week though, I think I have proved that I can do it because I've rung one of my friends tons of times without even thinking much. Yes, I felt a little nervous, but I did it anyway.
Ringing places like the cinema or shops are just a no go.
It's just sometimes I need to make important phone calls and I can't, and that's what I'm bothered about. I've never really had to try and deal with this fear before, not really. I don't know.
I understand that's harder on the phone though. Good work ringing your friend