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Georgie_
Posts: 112 The Mix Convert
Hi, sorry me again.
I just wondered if any of you had any ideas about this, sorry.
Lately things have been getting worse at home, I'm always being punished and when that doesn't help sometimes things can get physical and I get hurt. My parents say they're trying to get help for me, but trying to get me sectioned again, really isn't a good way to go about it. I had help for myself but they lied to me to stop it.
After a number of arguments and fights with my mother she's trying to get social services to "take me away" because apparently I'm too much to cope with and I'm tearing my family apart. In short, they just don't want me anymore. My cons outweigh my pros.
The other night, during the latest (proper) argument in which my dad joined in, I was told that because of me, my father is likely to die within the year as I'm causing too much strain on his heart. (He's has heart conditions which I've been told I'm aggravating).
Because of this, mum says Social Services can and will take me away, because I'm shortening my fathers life. I just wondered if anybody knew if this was true? Can they do this because of my dad?
I don't want to become a 'care kid', but don't get me wrong, I care about my dad and don't want to kill him, I'm just very unsure if they can "take me away" because of this. I don't mean to put my family through this, not at all. I just don't know if they can and it's not making things easier at home as I don't believe half of the things I'm told anymore.
Sorry about this,
Frankie.
I just wondered if any of you had any ideas about this, sorry.
Lately things have been getting worse at home, I'm always being punished and when that doesn't help sometimes things can get physical and I get hurt. My parents say they're trying to get help for me, but trying to get me sectioned again, really isn't a good way to go about it. I had help for myself but they lied to me to stop it.
After a number of arguments and fights with my mother she's trying to get social services to "take me away" because apparently I'm too much to cope with and I'm tearing my family apart. In short, they just don't want me anymore. My cons outweigh my pros.
The other night, during the latest (proper) argument in which my dad joined in, I was told that because of me, my father is likely to die within the year as I'm causing too much strain on his heart. (He's has heart conditions which I've been told I'm aggravating).
Because of this, mum says Social Services can and will take me away, because I'm shortening my fathers life. I just wondered if anybody knew if this was true? Can they do this because of my dad?
I don't want to become a 'care kid', but don't get me wrong, I care about my dad and don't want to kill him, I'm just very unsure if they can "take me away" because of this. I don't mean to put my family through this, not at all. I just don't know if they can and it's not making things easier at home as I don't believe half of the things I'm told anymore.
Sorry about this,
Frankie.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
Thanks for your reply, did some research and under our circumstances I can't get put into care as there's no danger as such as home, my parents just have to deal with me unless I do choose to. I've been considering it a lot lately with things getting worse but I don't want to make things harder for myself, right now I've got everything I could ever want, a family who care, friends and I've got a life. I don't want to have to restart it but it's something I'm considering I just don't want to regret it if I did, even if I only went away for a short time.
Sorry for going on here.
It's clear that you really care about your family and it sounds like your mum is quite overwhelmed - it might be that she is feeling scared about your Dad being so poorly and looking for someone to blame and take out her anger on. This doesn't make it okay though. She's also probably worried about you too even if it doesn't feel like she's showing you that care at the moment. Perhaps she feels she has to be in control of it all and she doesn't know what to do for the best.
How do you feel about your Dad at the moment? It must be hard for you as well *hug*
Do try to remember that none of this is your fault. If you're getting physically hurt then there are people you can talk to for advice. You might like to think about contacting Womens Aid for some support - you can explore their 'what can I do' page for links and info about who you can talk to in confidence: http://www.thehideout.org.uk/over10/whatcanidoaboutit/default.aspa
Can I ask what support you managed to get for yourself before? Is there perhaps another family member you could think about staying with a while if you wanted a break from what's happening at home? It's lovely to hear that you have good friends - do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to?
Sorry for all the questions! You don't have to answer them all
Let us know how things are going *hug*
I seem to worry most people at the moment, and I know how concerned Mum is, just the other week she tried to get me sectioned. I know I'm effecting her health as well now, her depression seems to be getting worse. They're right when they said I shouldn't have been born, I'm not worth it. She feels out of control now, both Social Services and police safeguard have dropped us now, so she's unsure of what to do.
I don't know how I feel about any of this any more, I think about things and everything just gets worse. We had a visitor this morning from a support project thingy (I'm not too sure!) about trying to get me some more support and when I was out of the room, Mum admitted that she's now worried for my safety as she thinks Dad is close to breaking point with me. If he's this pushed with me I can't even start to imagine what my Mum's going through now as Dad doesn't know much at all over my reasons. I'll take a look at that, thanks.
I did have counselling online but Mum found out right at the start and I had to stop as she didn't approve although I'm back in the camhs system now. Kinda on my own right now but I'm hoping that will change after the visit this morning. Family wise, I'm on my own although I know I have a couple of friends who'd let me stay if I just asked, I honestly don't know where I'd be without them.
Sorry about this, it's long but it kinda sorted out my thoughts a bit.
Thanks *hugs*
Frankie.
I just give up now, people keep going out if their way to help me but then I do things like this, I've tried to explain things but it's impossible, nobody seems to want to believe me over my mother. Everybody just assumes what she says is right especially about me but then I get into trouble when I contradict her. It's so frustrating trying to re-explain things. I try from the start but they always have to ask Mum thing to confirm I'm telling the truth yet Mum has her own ideas over what she things is true and then it's those that are taken as true. I can't take this anymore.
Sorry for this just needed to vent sorry :/sorry for this, needed to complain sorry
Sorry for this.. Really should stop going on, just wasting people time.. Sorry for ranting again
Letting someone inside our mind can be terrifying. In many ways, our mind is the most personal thing we have, so I understand why you're scared about people knowing what you're thinking. But not letting anyone in means that we have to deal with all our thoughts alone, which can be really hard. Does that sound like what's going on for you?
You said that the lady from CAMHS is coming this week. Maybe that would be a good chance to take a risk and try and tell her what's really going on inside your head? It sounds like you're scared that she'll judge you, but I really don't think she will.
It's great that your friend is being so amazing! It might not feel like it, but you do deserve support and it's not selfish to ask for help.
Let us know how it goes
You're pretty much there with the letting people in. I tried before but I'm done with being told I'm too young to have these kind of thoughts never mind acting on them etc. I've had to deal with everything alone for so long, it's hard telling people. Verbal conversations have always been a weakness of mine and now it's just even worse but is embarrassing having to write because the words just won't come out.
She came and I tried to be honest, I just couldn't admit to the "big things" as Mum was in the room, although without me saying it I'm pretty sure she knows what I'm feeling. I spoke to her for a little bit on my own and I said enough to hopefully not worry her too much, if I worry her too much I'll have to go back into hospital and I really don't want that. Apparently silence says more than words.
I really don't deserve people being nice to me, I've ruined so many peoples lives. I should have kept quiet that way at least with me gone nobody else would get hurt. My family would get over me quickly, there's hardly much worth missing or being sad over. It's her as a friend who made me put things off for as long as I did, I'm pretty sure she'd miss me more than my family would..
Sorry for this.
I hate to say this Frankie, but you're probably putting your family through more difficulties by not being honest with the people that are there to help you. You can always ask for a completely private chat with them. Your mum doesn't need to be present. might that help?