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Angry. Suicide. Etc etc.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Crap post alert.
I'm angry. Really angry.
I can't decide if it's because I feel so let down by everyone around me. Pissed off that I can't receive support for my mental health AND keep my routine and my career.
I can't be a good person without help. Deep down I believe I can be that, I believe I can be well and do good. But I need help and support. I need someone to fucking give a shit.
But none of this is new. And I'm angry because instead of spending all this time whinging I should just focus on making sure I don't have to feel any of this crap. Why can I not get the strength to end everything. I'm such a coward. No one owes me anything. Why should someone spend a second of their time on ME.
I'm angry. Really angry.
I can't decide if it's because I feel so let down by everyone around me. Pissed off that I can't receive support for my mental health AND keep my routine and my career.
I can't be a good person without help. Deep down I believe I can be that, I believe I can be well and do good. But I need help and support. I need someone to fucking give a shit.
But none of this is new. And I'm angry because instead of spending all this time whinging I should just focus on making sure I don't have to feel any of this crap. Why can I not get the strength to end everything. I'm such a coward. No one owes me anything. Why should someone spend a second of their time on ME.
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Comments
You've clearly got a lot of frustrations boiling over, which is totally understandable. It's good to just splurge these things out sometimes - it can help us process all the stuff that's built up. Did writing that help a little? Are you feeling any better today?
You asked us a question:
I think you also answered it:
You do deserve help and support. It sounds like you just need someone to believe in you and help you get to where you believe you can be. It must be infuriating not to have the support you need, but, as Annaarrr said, we believe in you, and will do what we can.