Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Depressed after miscarriage :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey!

Everything has been fine with me until a few months ago; I had a miscarriage. Since then my whole life has just gotten worse again.

I've became so down and depressed again and I just cannot cope. My boyfriend just doesn't seem to be bothered by it and no-one seems to be able to say anything to make me feel better.

This last week has been really hard, my doctors stop my citalopram and I've just hit rock bottom.
I just need some help; I'm currently sitting here with cuts up my arms and I've just taken 4 cocodamol (8/500mg) and now I'm regretting it, I just need a bit of help.

Thanks for reading my rant
Ally :)

Comments

  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Ally.

    Well done for opening up about how things are for you. We are here for you.

    This article has some information on miscarriage and how to deal with the emotions that come with it. Your not alone.

    Sometimes people react to things differently, your boyfriend may not know how to react. Is he there for you though, like if you need to talk to him?

    I am sorry that your doctor took you off your medication, why did they do that?

    I think for the practical advice is to contact somebody and get yourself checked out at hospital for the self harm and taking the tablets. I know it's a difficult step to take but we are here if you want to chat about anything.

    This article has some info about going to the hospital about self harm it could help you feel less alone and worried.

    Also take care of the wounds as well, like keep them clean and covered up if they need to be covered.

    Are you on your own atm? or is there somebody with you, or somebody who can come and be with you?
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Ally,

    I'm so sorry to hear you've had a miscarriage. It's an awful thing and I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

    The way you're feeling is normal. Everyone reacts in their own way to a miscarriage and there is definitely no right or wrong way to feel, any feelings you experience are normal.

    Can I ask why your doctor made the decision to take you off citalopram? Did you come off this gradually and slowly, or did you just stop taking them all together?

    You say you're regretting what you've just done, do you feel able to present yourself at a&e?

    Have you had much support whilst trying to cope with your miscarriage?

    Do keep posting, I'm sending hugs *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey

    Thanks for replying. I'm in the process of being referred for counselling, it's just taking forever. I will give those pages a read tho!

    They took me of citalopram coz I'm having stomach problems atm and they can't figure out what it is that's causing it "/

    I'm on my own now, and I've just turned my phone off, the thought of speaking/seeing people just makes me panic. I know I should go to get checked out I'm just terrified. My boyfriends mum lives over the road so she could come to me of I need her. I just know she will be mad at me, she made me promise I wouldn't do anything stupid.

    Ally xox
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,
    No They just took me off citalopram altogether, I was on 30mg.

    And no I don't think I could go to a&e, just the thought of if gives me a panic attack! I could get my boyfriends mum to come around, but even that scares me

    I just have no idea what to do with myself

    Ally xox
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    It's good that you are being referred to counselling it's like with any referral it does take a while, but it will be worth it when you get it, I hope it helps you.

    I think they should of gradually taken you off the tablets but I understand that they prob have to be safe if your having stomach troubles atm, then they prob want to be on the safe side by taking you off the meds.

    Sorry that you feel that way with regards to speaking to somebody and seeing somebody. I do think you should get checked out though.

    It's good that your boyfriends mum can come with you if you need her to, the fact that she made you promise not to do anything doesn't sound very supportive though. Self harm is an addiction and recovery is hard, and there will be relapses it doesn't mean you have failed it just means your struggling. You shouldn't of had to promise to not do anything, that isn't fair on you. *hugs*
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried to explain that to both her and my boyfriend but they don't seem to understand. That I can't just stop doing something that makes me feel better, even if it is in there opinion a stupid thing to do.

    I think I will give myself a while to calm down and then ask her to come around, I am just terrified coz I know she will be mad at me.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I fully relate I have been through the same with my family..

    I think calming yourself down and asking her to come around is a good idea, I know it's scary but you need to get yourself safe and where somebody can help you. I also want to say you should be really proud of yourself for doing this and taking this step. She will recognise that you are trying to help yourself by going to hospital, even if she is angry at you it will only be cos she does care about you. I know it wasn't fair for her to make you promise to not do anything but it sounds like she does care about you.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello Ally,

    I just wanted to pop in and offer another source of support. There have been several miscarriages and stillbirths in my family, and my Mum got involved with a charity called SANDS, who were set up to support parents whose babies had died before, during or shortly after birth. They've got telephone and email helplines, and are staffed by people who have gone through similar experiences and lost a baby. Here is their website: http://www.uk-sands.org/support/how-we-offer-support
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,
    Thanks for that website I will give it a look.

    And I know I'm not sure how to tell her what I've done tho, it's hard to tell anyone especially when I know how disappointed she will be with me.

    Ally xox
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Her disappointment wont last though, she will see that you are trying. We are here for you x
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just text her and told her what I'd done. She said that I should be okay and will probably just be sick. She's also sending me down to Wolverhampton to visit my mum who lives down there.

    Thanks Ally xox
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    You should be very proud of yourself that you have texted her, that is a brave step to take cos I know you have struggled with that idea of speaking to her about it. Well done lovely!!

    I hope your okay x
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks! She's coming around in a bit to check on me, she didn't react as bad as I though she would

    Ally xox
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    That's really good. I am proud of you.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I seem to be getting worse like I've hit rock bottom! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop crying and I can't think of anything else! I hate myself for this!
    I just feel like I'm not in my own body, I feel like someone else! It's hard to explain, but I just want to run away! I feel like I don't deserve my life, if I've just ruined everyone else's.

    Last night I had a panic attack and locked myself in the bathroom, I could hear voices telling me self harm and I stupidly listened to them. It's horrible I've woke up today unable to get out of bed. I just don't feel safe and feel like I can't trust anyone.

    I just don't know what to do.

    Ally xoxo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there anyone who lives nearby you could arrange to do something with?

    Boyfriends mum maybe? See if she fancys going out for a stroll to the shop and pick up some milk or something similar with you? Getting out and getting some fresh air can help get things reset in your mind sometimes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We're going out to walk the dog In a bit, just don't know If I can face people and outside.
    I'm just finding it hard to do anything atm :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So I feel worse after going out, tbh I'm so close to just ending it all. I just cannot be bothered with anything anymore!!
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Ally,

    I'm sorry to hear that going out didn't help yesterday. It sounds like you were in a really low place, which is totally understandable given what you've been through. Did you try the place that purple_roo suggested, SANDS? Sometimes being able to talk to someone one to one can really help.

    How are you feeling today?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, yeah I've gave it a look and emailed someone nothing seems to be helping me tho! I feel like I just can't cope.

    I'm feeling even worse today, going to get my arm looked at in a bit, I think it's got infected.
    I'm just not sure what's got me feeling so low, I just can't be bothered I just want to sleep forever :(

    Ally xoxo
Sign In or Register to comment.