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Dealing with the dull reality that is life?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Firstly, sorry for posting here when I've not been much use to any one else of this site. I just feel incredibly unmotivated at the moment. I've stopped working for a while to try and focus on "fixing myself", I've started applying to courses (well a course) and have applied to do some volunteer work but I need to wait until I get the all clear for that.
Yet even though I'm doing all of these things to get "better", I still feel myself slipping backwards. I'm no longer drinking as much, but I'm still incredibly low and I don't know whether this is due to the alcohol or not. I feel as if I'm simply existing, that I'm drifting through days as a ghost, I don't actually feel entirely "here"- like I'm simply dreaming. I've been trying to motivate myself to start going for walks, but I can't seem to face getting up and leaving the house. My eating is beginning to get out of control again, I'm binging and I don't even understand why and it's making me feel even worse about myself (I'm trying not to go back to B/P). I'm beginning to feel incredibly pessimistic about getting into college and getting back into a "normal" life because it seems impossible for me to concentrate on anything. I just so feel exhausted all the time, though I know that's probably due to the fact I don't do anything and I over sleep a lot...
I'm just wondering how other people manage to deal with living a life like this? I keep thinking I was happier when I was drinking heavily because though I got the deep depression, I also had the highs of being out with other people- now I just have constant downs. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to stay sober/on the path to recovery and I was wondering how other people manage? If there's any particular coping strategies that helped them? Also, can any one tell me ways to build up my motivation and self esteem so I can actually start getting out of the house and healthier?
Thanks for reading..
Yet even though I'm doing all of these things to get "better", I still feel myself slipping backwards. I'm no longer drinking as much, but I'm still incredibly low and I don't know whether this is due to the alcohol or not. I feel as if I'm simply existing, that I'm drifting through days as a ghost, I don't actually feel entirely "here"- like I'm simply dreaming. I've been trying to motivate myself to start going for walks, but I can't seem to face getting up and leaving the house. My eating is beginning to get out of control again, I'm binging and I don't even understand why and it's making me feel even worse about myself (I'm trying not to go back to B/P). I'm beginning to feel incredibly pessimistic about getting into college and getting back into a "normal" life because it seems impossible for me to concentrate on anything. I just so feel exhausted all the time, though I know that's probably due to the fact I don't do anything and I over sleep a lot...
I'm just wondering how other people manage to deal with living a life like this? I keep thinking I was happier when I was drinking heavily because though I got the deep depression, I also had the highs of being out with other people- now I just have constant downs. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to stay sober/on the path to recovery and I was wondering how other people manage? If there's any particular coping strategies that helped them? Also, can any one tell me ways to build up my motivation and self esteem so I can actually start getting out of the house and healthier?
Thanks for reading..
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Comments
you don't need to apologise for anything, you can post on here whenever you want to.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this *hug*
Have you seen this article on depression? It explains what depression is, the signs, and the help you could recieve. I just thought it might be worth having a look if you haven't already seen it.
Have you spoke to anyone recently about the way you're feeling? If not, is there anyone you trust enough who you could talk to? This could be anyone, a relative, a friend, your GP etc.
Please don't feel that you have to answer this, but I was just wondering whether you would class yourself as an 'alcoholic' or are you able to control what you drink at the moment? I only ask because my advice to you would be different depending on which way you see it.
I'm going to say the most obvious thing which annoys a lot of people (so apologies if this annoys you), but I really do recommend exercise. I know all you probably want to do is sleep the day away so exercise is the last thing you're thinking about, but it really does help. I won't get all scientific and explain how, I shall leave that to the professionals
I suggest you try to spend as much time as possible with the people that make you feel good. Friends, relatives, whoever makes you happy. Lean on them, maybe even secretly, for support. Try not to be alone so much, try and have as much fun and laughs as you can.
Have you ever heard of/tried Mindfulness? It's amazing, I swear by Mindfulness to get me through some difficult times. Here's a link if you want to have a look, and we also had an expert chat on Mindfulness which you may also want to look at.
Hmm, I'm not too sure of ways to help you build up your motivation and self esteem.. do you think maybe setting yourself some sort of routine or making a sort of chart could help you? I know that if I gave myself a routine I would have to stick to it, but what about you? Also, maybe reward youself with little things. So, say if you went out for a thirty minutes jog, you could then reward yourself with something you like for doing that?
Keep us posted and let us know how you're doing *hug*
Firstly, I would definitely be seen as an alcoholic. Though I am making a massive amount of effort to keep the drinking to a minimum (I used to be drinking two bottles of wine daily but now I'm down to the equivalent of one or two bottles a week, and intending to reduce that even more!)
My GP is aware of my mood, I'm currently not working due to my mental health issues, and I'm to be starting medication shortly but I don't see this working out long term. I'm afraid I can't "lean" on any one because there isn't any one to lean on. If I tell my parents I'm upset, they simply start lecturing and I end up feeling worse. I don't have friends (or rather I avoid friends) and to be perfectly honest, I think I'd rather be left alone.
In regards to the exercise advice, I definitely intend on making more of an effort. Though I think I will need a reason to actually leave the house either by having to meet people or if I've been tasked to get something- the idea of simply getting up just to go for a walk or jog seems really pointless to me at the moment.
I have tried mindfulness, and it works to stop me from doing anything impulsive whether that's an OD, drinking a bottle of wine or self harming, but it does little to actually alleviate my mood. Instead, I've found myself just sitting aimlessly staring into space, feeling like proper shit and actively trying to detach myself from the emotions/situation.
Truth be told I'm looking forward to the day I can disappear and no one will come looking for me. At the moment, I have an obligation to remain at least "here", and not completely self destructing. There seems to be relief in the thought of completely self destructing.
But until then, I do need to at least look like I'm better, and that involves advice on how to actually look functional and happy when I'm not.
Firstly, I would definitely be seen as an alcoholic. Though I am making a massive amount of effort to keep the drinking to a minimum (I used to be drinking two bottles of wine daily but now I'm down to the equivalent of one or two bottles a week, and intending to reduce that even more!)
My GP is aware of my mood, I'm currently not working due to my mental health issues, and I'm to be starting medication shortly but I don't see this working out long term. I'm afraid I can't "lean" on any one because there isn't any one to lean on. If I tell my parents I'm upset, they simply start lecturing and I end up feeling worse. I don't have friends (or rather I avoid friends) and to be perfectly honest, I think I'd rather be left alone.
In regards to the exercise advice, I definitely intend on making more of an effort. Though I think I will need a reason to actually leave the house either by having to meet people or if I've been tasked to get something- the idea of simply getting up just to go for a walk or jog seems really pointless to me at the moment.
I have tried mindfulness, and it works to stop me from doing anything impulsive whether that's an OD, drinking a bottle of wine or self harming, but it does little to actually alleviate my mood. Instead, I've found myself just sitting aimlessly staring into space, feeling like proper shit and actively trying to detach myself from the emotions/situation.
Truth be told I'm looking forward to the day I can disappear and no one will come looking for me. At the moment, I have an obligation to remain at least "here", and not completely self destructing. There seems to be relief in the thought of being able to let go of everything.. whether that be through dying or drinking myself into oblivion, alone, in a dank, squalid council house (since lets face it, I'm not going to be able to work ever again).
But until then, I do need to at least look like I'm better, and that involves advice on how to actually look functional and happy when I'm not.