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A new relationship..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys,
I've been on a last minute date tonight with a guy I've known for a while and it was great.
I'm just wondering what you guys think..
If my ex said to me 'I'm so sorry, I love you and I've changed', I think I would give him another chance, and even though I know that probably won't happen, I do wish it could..
This guy that I went on a date with, he has said he really likes me, he has asked me out, I've said yes because I do quite like him.
So, am I a bad person? I would get back with my ex if that was a possibility, so should I have said no to this guy tonight? Should I have not gone on the date at all?
I feel guilty.
I know that I'm never going to like someone as much as I liked my ex before we got together
I've been on a last minute date tonight with a guy I've known for a while and it was great.
I'm just wondering what you guys think..
If my ex said to me 'I'm so sorry, I love you and I've changed', I think I would give him another chance, and even though I know that probably won't happen, I do wish it could..
This guy that I went on a date with, he has said he really likes me, he has asked me out, I've said yes because I do quite like him.
So, am I a bad person? I would get back with my ex if that was a possibility, so should I have said no to this guy tonight? Should I have not gone on the date at all?
I feel guilty.
I know that I'm never going to like someone as much as I liked my ex before we got together
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Comments
I think everyone has felt this about a person at one point in their lives and still their lives went on. It's perfectly normal to go on dates regardless where your heart is. It makes the getting over someone phase a lot easier too.
I regret saying yes
I'm scared. I feel like I'm never going to get over my ex. I don't want to have to.
I am a bad person, I know it. I'm so stupid!
Hey butterfly, it's not something you have to mention or not - people were just asking the question as it's relevant to the thread
Having said that, it can be helpful for a new boyf/date to know at some point you've been hurt in the past so that they can be sensitive to your feelings. In this scenario right now, you could just be totally upfront and say to the guy something along the lines of:
'listen, I thought I was ready to start seeing someone again after my ex, but now I've realised I've still got things to resolve from the past and I don't want you to get caught up in it.
Getting over an ex might sound like a horrible thing - but going through that process will make you stronger and help you to learn about yourself - that I can almost guarantee. Hang in there and keep posting about it - it's a good and important process
I'm still very much not over my last ex, but I'm not going to let that stop me trying to find other people who may turn out just as awesome. The people I'm seeing all know that I have...issues...and they're ok with that. Granted I haven't specifically mentioned that I'm still kinda pining, but as I am not after a monogamous relationship it's not quite as relevant.
They do, however, know that there are people in my past that still have some kind of power over me. Everyone does and it's normal.
Tell him you'd like to take it slow because you're still feeling a bit wounded from what was a very hurtful relationship and break up with your ex. If he's worth his salt he'll accept that.
I said to him something similar to what Helen told me to say. I've turned off my phone now though, which probably means I'm not a very nice person, but at least I've finally said it.
I don't want a relationship, even starting to cry again now. Uh. I don't understand why I'm still so upset at times about my ex, I'm the one that left so why am I still like this? I couldn't care less if I never have another relationship again. I never want to feel like this again, it's one of the worst feelings in the world and it's so hard
We were together for four years and in the end, I broke up with him for reasons best not gone into right now.
That was three and a half years ago.
It still hurts sometimes when I think about him. About the what if.
But I truly believe that if I had stayed with him, I would not be who I am now. I would have let myself be held back for his benefit. I may not be better off without him (my mental health and self harm have got worse since we broke up), but I'm better off than I would have been if I'd stayed with him.