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Do I take the hint or keep trying?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Basically I was seeing a girl for a couple of weeks, not long I know but we met most days and things were moving quickly. I then got told by my previous partner I may have an sti, but this was an evil trick she played as she was jealous so being a decent guy I told the girl I was seeing to get herself checked out too as I won't get results for a few weeks. (Turns out I had nothing) since that, I haven't seen her. She's just been really off with me and makes excuses like she's busy or going to a friends, a few days ago I asked a 3rd time to meet me and she never replied.

Friends have told me she's probably seeing someone else or I should just forget it and move on but I really like her and really want to see her again! But I don't want to keep pestering her by asking only to be knocked back, what do I do :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well look at it from her point of view - you started sleeping with her, then tell her some time later to get checked. Doesn't exactly make you look like the caring type or a keeper does it? Yes it sucks that you've been put in that situation but if she is still interested in you she'll get back in touch in time. Two weeks together really isn't long though - Now I'd just send her a text on Christmas Day (anything more will make you look way too enthusiastic) and see if she gets back to you. Be prepared to move on though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say it is time to move on, I mean if I was "casually" seeing someone and they said to me to get checked out, I would be with them afterwards.

    The fact is it was only a short relationship and obviously not serious, I doubt you'll be able to repair this and by the sounds of it, she doesn't want too.

    Move on bud.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers for the advice.

    Reckon it would be worth a one last all or nothing message, something along the lines of look do you want to see me again or not? That way ill know for sure rather than beating around the bush, but at same time I don't wanna annoy her any more
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats your choice but I wouldn't recommend it, it's pretty clear already mate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    krng wrote: »
    Well look at it from her point of view - you started sleeping with her, then tell her some time later to get checked. Doesn't exactly make you look like the caring type or a keeper does it?

    I have a real issue with how you have phrased this and wanted to bring it up for other potential readers. The OP did the most responsible thing possible when faced with the potential that he may have an STI - he didn't hide it, but instead was responsible and open with his current partner.

    Sexual health is nothing to be ashamed about - particularly when you are looking after it - and comments like "Doesn't make you look like the caring type or a keeper" just perpetuate a negative sexual image that is far more damaging and adds to the shame surrounding sexual health. It is not on - you wouldn't say that to someone who had a cold, so why say it about an STI? Catching one is no worse (nor better) than a cold, and taking steps to keep healthy regarding your sexual health is a good thing.

    OP, this girl is not dealing with you in a mature or communicative way. It sucks to not be able to get closure on this, but unfortunately that is the most likely outcome.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Very hard to gauge if she went off of you because of the STI scare or just because she was not that into you/met someone else. There is not much information to work with. Somewhere in the middle of your story I would have suggested to clear up the reason of the STI warning (so she knows you haven't had someone while you were seeing her), but towards the end of your story I would say there is not much you can do. As soon as someone ignores you, there is pretty much nil chance for anything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just found out she has a new lad.

    That explains why she stopped seeing me etc, but what I don't get is why she couldn't just be straight with me and tell me.. Instead of leaving me on tenterhooks not knowing where I stand. I'm half relieved because I know the truth but half really hurt and upset. :( women eh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its "people eh" rather than women, I have known just as many male friends who have done the same thing. Whilst it can be horrible when you are in a situation where you dont know where you stand, if she hasn't replied then there isn't anything more you can do about it. It is possible that she didn't want to tell you, in some kind of way avoiding hurting you, equally it is her business who she talks to about her private life. Especially if you had been going out for such a short time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not all women are the same. She probably didn't want to upset you.
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