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Overwhelmed.

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear u struggling. How r u?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How are you feeling today, BrokenGirl? :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Lorna. I'm not good today. I think I need to kill myself. The urges are so high right now and the crisis team are beyond useless. There is just no hope and no point in anything. I'm struggling a lot because it's Christmas too. I don't think I can keep going.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Lorna. I'm not good today. I think I need to kill myself. The urges are so high right now and the crisis team are beyond useless. There is just no hope and no point in anything. I'm struggling a lot because it's Christmas too. I don't think I can keep going.

    Christmas is a hard time what r u doing for Christmas this year? Is there anyone else u can ring instead of crisis sorry to hear they are useless so r crisis here they need to improve it a lot.


    What makes u want to kill yourself? Are there any distractions I could try?

    Hugs x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm so sorry Brokengirl, here's the link I promised about online counselling.

    I'm sorry to hear things are bad right now. You can do this if you want to enough, you've been through a lot and you can come through this.

    What are you doing tomorrow? Do you have plans?

    Remember we're here for you *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't need to kill yourself lovely, there's lots of people that care and we all care about you too :heart:

    Have you tried speaking to Samaritans? As I know how useless the crisis team are.

    Would you be able to present yourself at A&E if you're feeling that low? X


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Lorna I suppose there is Sams but obviously they can't advise or help me in a practical way which can get quite frustrating at times. I will end up killing myself because I am a lost cause and nothing can help me. Just don't belong in this world and i'm fed up of feeling so depressed and anxious and never getting anywhere just constantly going round in circles. Other than watching TV which I already do a lot of not really I don't think. Thanks Butterfly, the link looks good although I have tried online counselling before and have had issues with confidentiality. Most other places I don't seem to qualify for because of my area and/or my age. I'm meant to be round my nans seeing family. Thank you both *hug*
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Your not a lost cause. And there will be something that helps you. Its about finding what helps you, talking,drawing,exercise,medication. That kind of thing.

    Counsellors have a duty of care however they wont tell anyone anything unless they think your in danger or a danger to somebody else. But they will try and tell you first if they are gonna contact somebody. They do care and so do we.

    I know how frustrating it is with not qualifying for something cos of your age.

    How would you feel bout trying online counselling again?

    Keep posting we are here.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks BM. I don't think so. I've given up. I think I will end it all it's just a matter of when. I hope it's soon. I can't take it anymore. And until that happens i'm on my own. I have no strength left. I'm so panicky and upset right now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who cares. I deserve to die anyway. I'm sure everyone want's that to happen anyway. I'm a waste of space. I'm a useless human being. I don't belong in this world.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Hey, nice to see you have posted again. Sorry that your struggling.

    You can get through this. The fact that your still here and posting shows strength. Dont give up. We care about you.

    Is there anything you want to talk about tonight? The reason why your feeling upset and panicky, maybe?

    You dont deserve to die. Nobody deserves that.

    Hugs.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks BM. Just want to die. Just got to make a proper plan and make sure it works this time. I have given up and discharged myself again from the crisis team. They made me feel worse. I can't get any support now, and even if I did it wouldn't be enough and I am still refusing to go in as an inpatient again. I just need it all to end. :'(
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Things sound pretty difficult for you. It sounds like you need that support but you dont want to accept it. Is there a reason why you dont want to accept that support?

    Please remember that posting about suicide is very sensitive and could cause concern to others. We do care though, so please continue to post.

    Have you tried helplines before?

    What things do you enjoy doing? Interests/hobbies? Sometimes having something to focus on can help us.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Dont worry about it. Its more of a friendly reminder.

    Keep posting though.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im done
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Was it cos of what I said?

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,713 Part of the furniture
    im done


    Hey BrokenGirl,

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling again, would it be worth contacting emergency support, we aren't the place to offer crisis support, and having more one to one support might be more beneficial, for example, calling Samaritans or your crisis service in your area, would you like to tell us a bit about what's going on, and why you feel this way? *hug*

    Best wishes,
    Angel
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Angel *hug* I'm sorry but there's no one I trust I would call Sams but I am exhausted and don't feel I can physically speak to them I may try to once my family have gone to bed though. In the meantime I'm really struggling I tried to get an early night and unfortunately I woke up a few hours later. I am in such a state. I can't trust anyone anymore. People don't understand me and I don't belong anywhere in this world. I just can't take this anymore and no one understands everyone hates me I just know it :'(
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Okay so clearly I have said the wrong thing here. Why do I actually bother. Trying to help.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay so clearly I have said the wrong thing here. Why do I actually bother. Trying to help.

    I don't think you've said the wrong thing, Banana Monkey, but even if you had I'm not sure this is the way to try and address it. Perhaps you could do with stepping back a bit and getting some sleep tonight? It's very tiring being as carrying as you are on here.

    Broken Girl, what have you used in the past to get through the bad times?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay so clearly I have said the wrong thing here. Why do I actually bother. Trying to help.

    You haven't said anything wrong at all. Like you said, just a friendly reminder.

    Sorry to hear you're feeling so low brokengirl. What about the questions bananamonkey asked? Have you tried any helplines? Do you have interests or hobbies?
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Uhm... I clearly have done something wrong cba no more. All I do is try and help but for no chuffing reason.

    Wont bother next time. What do you mean "carrying as you are on here" :s

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm sorry i'm just in a really bad way and i'm overly sensitive sorry I should never have said anything in the first place I just became desperate I can't talk to anyone
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,166 The Mix Elder
    Hmmm.

    Well I hope you get the help and support.

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you mean "carrying as you are here"

    Typo for "caring", I don't always pay attention to Swype's interpretation of what I meant to type
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,713 Part of the furniture
    Thank you Angel *hug* I'm sorry but there's no one I trust I would call Sams but I am exhausted and don't feel I can physically speak to them I may try to once my family have gone to bed though. In the meantime I'm really struggling I tried to get an early night and unfortunately I woke up a few hours later. I am in such a state. I can't trust anyone anymore. People don't understand me and I don't belong anywhere in this world. I just can't take this anymore and no one understands everyone hates me I just know it :'(

    Hey BrokenGirl,

    Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, have you managed to call Samaritans yet? They also have a text service if you're not really up to talking, but it often takes them slightly longer to get back to you. It sounds like you have an awful lot going on for you, but it's amazing to see you still here and fighting, and getting the support you deserve.

    You seem to externalizing the fact everyone hates you, this thread says otherwise, you're an amazing member of the community and liked by many users, (Including myself) we replied because we do care. It's great to see you tried to use skills by getting an early night, I'm sorry if didn't work out, do you do other stuff when you're feeling low, I often find myself doing sit up's when I'm overwhelmed at night, gosh knows why, and I'm also quite fond of Mindfulness.

    Have you ever tried Mindfulness before? :) It's difficult when we feel as though nobody understands you, only you've been in your shoes, but it's not always about understanding, we do care and I know what it feels like when you're in position where you do feel as though nobody does really understand, do you currently get regular support at all, via the adults mental health team, etc?

    And you do belong here, we all belong here, we all have a reason to be here, we just don't know what it is yet, (I've mentioned this before, but I'm sure it's to help the Llamas take over the world) You're a strong person BrokenGirl, and it's about taking one step at a time, and you've taken the first few just by reaching out on here, I'm totes proud of you!

    Best wishes,
    Angel
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks a lot for your reply Angel. I did call Sams but I had to cut the conversation short as my mum walked in :( I have been texting them though.

    I don't really do a lot when i'm feeling low. Nothing seems to help me.

    Yes I have. I couldn't really engage with it. I have been under the crisis team since coming out of hospital but I discharged myself the other day. I have such a problem with keeping engaged. Apparently that is common for people with Personality Disorders, which apparently it is likely I have one. I am usually under the CMHT and I struggle to stay engaged with them too. I have a wonderful GP but she has put up with enough from me I am meant to be seeing her tomorrow but it's probably not fair on her if I do. I can't deal with the fact i've let her down yet again.

    Thank you xx
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