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Reasons Why Our Behavior Changes Around People
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm a big psychology geek (I minored in it) and enjoy observing human behavior. Lately I've noticed that many of my friends tend to act a certain way when I'm having one-to-one conversations with them, but behave differently when they're in the presence of other people. This phenomenon is discussed in more detail here: Reasons Why Our Behavior Changes Based On Who We’re With
I've especially noticed this in the workplace. Some people are nice and polite when having one-to-one conversations, but become jerks when they're around others who act like jerks themselves. I feel it's because people have an innate drive to fit in, and in the end, they're looking out for themselves.
The mindset is something along these lines: "If the jerk in accounting can help me get a promotion, I'll try to mirror his personality as much as possible -- whether by telling similar jokes, acting as silly as he does, etc. That way, he'll like me more and thus do his part to get me the promotion."
It's amazing how people take on different personas when it's most convenient for them.
Have you guys noticed this in anyone you know?
I've especially noticed this in the workplace. Some people are nice and polite when having one-to-one conversations, but become jerks when they're around others who act like jerks themselves. I feel it's because people have an innate drive to fit in, and in the end, they're looking out for themselves.
The mindset is something along these lines: "If the jerk in accounting can help me get a promotion, I'll try to mirror his personality as much as possible -- whether by telling similar jokes, acting as silly as he does, etc. That way, he'll like me more and thus do his part to get me the promotion."
It's amazing how people take on different personas when it's most convenient for them.
Have you guys noticed this in anyone you know?
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Comments
probably your friends feel more comfortable in one on one situations.
So even though I act differently with my granddad, in the office, with friends, with parents, with girlfriend, they could all in some way be the real me?
And if some of you friends can be nice with you and a jerk with someone else, maybe that's just reflecting different sides of their character?
If you have a niece or nephew who is 5 years, you don't treat him or her the same as your girlfriend, or mother, right? It's not being insecure, but recognising that people are different and you have to treat them accordingly.
Or perhaps it could be sign of being inflexible.
Maybe I should have phrased it better, G-Raffe hit the nail on the head. I'm always me, but as I said I'm always careful about what I say, in what situation and who to.
I work with kids who are at risk of/caught offending so I will act totally different around them than I will with teachers or other police officers.