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Why am i so easy to use
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
All my life I seem to have been used by one person or another. I was manipulated by my father and used against my mother during their very acrimonious breakup, I was used by my best friend in order for her to get what she wanted, I was used by my ex, and it seems most recently I was used by someone who told me that they were my friend in order for them to progress their company. It's really painful that I seem to be so easily manipulated by people, and I really can't work out how they manage it all and what it is I do to attract people like that. I am fairly open with people, especially partners. I kind of need to be because I often have flashbacks during sex and it's difficult if they don't know what's going on when that happens and I sometimes confide things to my friends but I don't have very many friends and i really only trust a very small number of people. I know there is this whole victim, perpetrator, rescuer triangle thing which I spent a lot of time looking at. I think I'm fairly clear that I don't feel like a victim any more but I still just can't work out what it is that attracts people to using me. I talks to my mum about it, and she seems to think it's because I get easily wound up by people. I don't agree with that though, I used to get bullied quite a lot in school because I was very different from most of the people who I went to school with - i wasn't local, i had "odd" tastes in music, clothes, hobbies. I know that given the fact that I am a young single disabled woman living on my own, that makes me very vunerable in itself. On top of that fact to have some mental health issues, I can see how people could see me as an easy target in some ways. But I can't figure out what it is I do to attract people - even my own father used me. What the fuck is wrong with me?
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I've been victim to it my entire life. I think my issue is that, due to the abuse I suffered, I crave someone to care for me and love me. And I am blinded by this so called "love" and just let them use me while I go on pretending everything is fine. I'm not suggesting you have the same problem, I just want you to know that it's not just you *hug*
Often people see your insecurities and niggle away at them if they are trying to get something, they hit you were it hurts the most. Which just makes it all the more raw and painful. I'm not really sure what to suggest, I just wanted you to know I'd read this and I can relate
The problem is, and maybe I am to cynical, people are out for themselves these days and a vast majority of people are only interested in looking after number one and will tread over other people to get what they need.
Maybe you need to look at concentrating on yourself, rather than helping your friends/family/loved ones out at present, maybe try and get a few of the friends you've helped to reciprocate and get a better idea of if they're truly your friend.
My door is always open