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What to do..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi and thanks for reading this.
I am posting here because my issues seem complex and keep recurring.
I know I have a good life overall and had some great experiences but I now feel desperate to transcend an overwhelming and recurring negativity, depression and self-doubt.
I think most of the problem is loneliness. I don't feel I have close friends that have ever been on my wave-length or those I do want to see more of I can't. I can get on well with most people though. I have never had a relationship proper. I find it difficult to manage my anxiety at times which can make this harder. Now most people don't contact me even though I have made efforts on my part.
At the end of July this year I returned from travelling for over a year and have come back to live with my parents, which I have also found very hard. Though financially a necessity and I am very grateful, I find it hard to be here and crave my independence and desire to better myself, which I can't seem to do here. Now I am finding my feet in a new job but I might not even get paid.
I miss the open and green spaces I encountered in my travels and know deep down I can't stand the concrete jungles of town and suburb. I feel like I'm suffocating and my soul is dying. I hate binging on alcohol even though I do it to go out and try to enjoy a night with people. I feel humiliated by my recent drunken events and really poisoned myself to multiple bouts of vomiting.
I prefer to keep fit and healthy. I have started volunteering and also a new form of exercise, which is another social outlet as well. So, I'm trying but still fundamentally unstable and unhappy.
What do I do now?
I am posting here because my issues seem complex and keep recurring.
I know I have a good life overall and had some great experiences but I now feel desperate to transcend an overwhelming and recurring negativity, depression and self-doubt.
I think most of the problem is loneliness. I don't feel I have close friends that have ever been on my wave-length or those I do want to see more of I can't. I can get on well with most people though. I have never had a relationship proper. I find it difficult to manage my anxiety at times which can make this harder. Now most people don't contact me even though I have made efforts on my part.
At the end of July this year I returned from travelling for over a year and have come back to live with my parents, which I have also found very hard. Though financially a necessity and I am very grateful, I find it hard to be here and crave my independence and desire to better myself, which I can't seem to do here. Now I am finding my feet in a new job but I might not even get paid.
I miss the open and green spaces I encountered in my travels and know deep down I can't stand the concrete jungles of town and suburb. I feel like I'm suffocating and my soul is dying. I hate binging on alcohol even though I do it to go out and try to enjoy a night with people. I feel humiliated by my recent drunken events and really poisoned myself to multiple bouts of vomiting.
I prefer to keep fit and healthy. I have started volunteering and also a new form of exercise, which is another social outlet as well. So, I'm trying but still fundamentally unstable and unhappy.
What do I do now?
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Comments
Welcome to the site, first off please take a look at some of the stickies about being here :thumb:
How long have you been feeling this way? Is it something you've spoken to anyone about before?
dp
Don't frown because its over, smile because it happened. All those memories of the green space, many wont get to experience that.
No one will ever be on the same wave length as me. we all think and feel things differently, its what makes us, us.
Keep trying
I used to get counselling when I felt similar before travelling, so sought help that way. But I don't like to go on about my problems too much to other family and friends - it never helps anyway, I always realise no one has great advise and I am the best help for myself but always come back to these feelings.
I do feel like this burden has always been there. Demons I need to control. My whole life has been intermittently punctuated by episodes like this. I get sad when I look back and know that I was never truly care-free. I should be enjoying the best years of my life a lot more.