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Risk vs Reward of relationship?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'm hardly going to give out the idea that I'm experienced when it comes to relationships, because I'm not, I'm far from it. Having had only one serious relationship I'm finding it hard to decide whether the reward of a nice relationship is really worth the heartache. Losing the last one was bad enough, I can't say that I'm perfectly fine now, because I'm not.

Is it really worth repeating the process in the hope of finding one that -might- stay?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You only get the heartache if it ends badly. If you never attempt anything in fear that it might end badly, not only do you set your expectations on a bad ending (always expecting one around any corner, preparing yourself for the hurt, not enjoying the actual thing), but also makes you unable to really enjoy anything in life. Granted, there are people who like to be unbound, some maybe even for life, but it does not sound as if you are among them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One must speculate in order to accumulate.
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    laurenblaurenb Posts: 3 Newbie
    Hi Febox,

    It's totally understandable that you?re scared about starting a new relationship! Especially if you've been hurt before, it can feel like a big risk. StrubbleS and CptCoatHanger are right, it?s totally up to you whether you decide if it?s a risk worth taking.

    It sounds like your last relationship had a big effect on you and you're still feeling quite heartbroken about it. That doesn't mean every relationship you have will end badly, and even if they do, as you say, the time in between might be worth it. However, if you aren't over your ex, there?s no rush to start a new relationship. This article on breaking up with someone might help: http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/mending-a-broken-heart-3184.html

    Is there someone in particular you'd like to be in a relationship with? Or are you simply keen to be in a relationship? Having a relationship can be great, but being single and independent can be good too. There's no need to rush into anything if you don't feel you're ready for another relationship. If you're finding being single quite hard this article might help: http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/single-and-happy-3180.html

    Whatever you decide about relationships - keep on posting! It's really positive that you're thinking about what you want and talking to people about it too.

    All the best,

    Lauren :)
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