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Ok...I thought we were friends with benefits....I'm confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok...so my story starts when a friend with benefits that I had not seen for fifteen years contacted me through facebook. It turned out we were both divorce and we both started talking about our past. So he kept brining up all the great times we shared in the past and eventually offered me to be that guy again, in other words friends with benefits. At that time I was in a confusing phase due to my divorce, I was in love with my exhusband and could not do it. It took him a year really, I mean I talked to the guy and he kept on trying. Mind you he is 41, and I am 37. I did not want to do it at first because, back 15 yrs ago I got hurt, because I was young and stupid and ended up developing feelings for him. We both parted ways and went on with our lives, and here we are AGAIN 15 yrs later. None the less, he set the table and I agree to it. WIth the only condition that it would be exclusive, only me and him. I know this sounded self-fish, but he agreed. Of course, I did not believe it, since I was very well aware he was talking to other females. He text me with another girl's name once. Seven months into this friends with benefits deal, my exhusband comes back. I gave in for my family and our daughter. As soon as I made my decision I notified my friend with benefits. I was hoping to keep him as my friend, I mean we were friends. WE NEVER DATED or developed a relationship other than friends. He took me off facebook, completely stopped talking to me. I understand but I am confused, he set the table for the situation we were in, I did not want to in it in the first place and now he is acting all hurt? I don't get it.

Today I remain single, it did not work with my exhusband. Nonetheless, my " ex-friend with benefits" refuses to talk to me. I sent him a message throught fc, just saying hi and what was he up to, big mistake he ignored it. I am okay with it, I'm not going to die cause of it, but I just don't get. I do not plan to open that can of worms, but all these years I thought we were FRIENDS, since 15 years ago he rejected me saying "we are better off as friends" and now he is acting like this. I came to the conclusion this was a waste of valuable time, lessons learned.

I'm going to go on with my life, just like I did 15 years ago.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    agga1221 wrote: »
    He took me off facebook, completely stopped talking to me. I understand but I am confused, he set the table for the situation we were in, I did not want to in it in the first place and now he is acting all hurt? I don't get it.

    People don't often mean what they say, I am sure you have seen this happen before. He had to agree to a clause in a contract, otherwise the deal would not happen. That does not mean he really wanted to, but he had to. Also referred to as lip service.
    agga1221 wrote: »
    Today I remain single, it did not work with my exhusband. Nonetheless, my " ex-friend with benefits" refuses to talk to me. I sent him a message throught fc, just saying hi and what was he up to, big mistake he ignored it. I am okay with it, I'm not going to die cause of it, but I just don't get. I do not plan to open that can of worms, but all these years I thought we were FRIENDS, since 15 years ago he rejected me saying "we are better off as friends" and now he is acting like this. I came to the conclusion this was a waste of valuable time, lessons learned.

    I'm going to go on with my life, just like I did 15 years ago.

    So he is a morally bankrupt human being. They existed since Ugg stole Agg's porcupine carcass to feast on something that took Agg hours of preparation, hunt and danger to acquire. He wanted you for the sex and said things he didn't meant to get what he wanted. After you deny that to him, he has no more interest in you. I am sure you can wrap your head around it.

    It is only wasted time if you consider it as such. Not every failing relationship is a waste of time. Ultimately you feel that way, but you had great times and memories too. If you see everything that does not turn out well for all eternity a waste of time, then pretty much the whole life is a waste of time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank for your response... All your opinions are valid and straight to the point :D... Funny thing is that he finally responded and of course MADE an attempt to begin where we left off. I know he has a girlfriend and I am happy for him, but like a lot of men he thinks its all about sex....I'm sticking to my guns and have NO desire to open that can of worms, if we can't be friends just like I wanted in the first place. Then I don't want anything from him..thank u again!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ignore the article. You're friends with benefits, just having some fun.
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