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Is 'phone sex' wrong?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, this is my first thread and am looking for some much-needed advice.. (I have already seen that there are many helpful & understanding people on this forum!)

Me and my (on-and-off) girlfriend don't get to see each other that much. We talk almost every day, and most of the time results in a fairly dirty conversation.. We both really enjoy this kind of talk and find it's the best solution to pleasing each other when we are apart.

Admittedly, our relationship has become much more sexually-orientated; as we are seeing each other less and less, we resolve in making the most of each others' company.

The one thing she doesn't know about is that I do also enjoy calling girls that I don't know - and to be perfectly honest, I don't feel much guilt about what I'm doing.

I know many guys who love these services and they see their GF's MUCH more regularly than I am able to..

I would like to think our phone sex is much more personal & intimate than when I call girls I don't know, purely because we have experienced a lot together.

Am I a bad person for enjoying these phone calls? Do you think my distant GF would mind me making these calls? She seems to love them when we talk- so who knows, maybe she calls other people too?

Any thoughts/advice I would really appreciate, because this has began to play on my mind much more over the past couple of weeks..

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I was your girlfriend and found out you were making calls like this to other women I'd be hurt.. but saying that if I would want proper conversations with my boyfriend as in 'how has your day? What have you done? I miss you. I love you.. bla bla blaaa'.

    You're not a bad person, but I don't think you are in love with your girlfriend. Maybe you love her, but you're not 'in love' with her. How would you feel about telling her about these calls? Maybe an actual honest open conversation would be good..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would you mind it if your girlfriend was having dirty phone conversations with other men?

    I cannot speak on behalf of your girlfriend, but I am fairly sure that she would be quite hurt if she knew.

    It is a gray area, somewhere between having physical sex with another woman and enjoying a porn. I would see it as a form of cheating, because you are having sexual intent with another real person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Would you mind it if your girlfriend was having dirty phone conversations with other men?
    I'm not sure how I would feel. If it was men that she or myself actually knew, then yes, I would be devastated.
    If she was paying to talk to people that she didn't know, then I would be relieved- and happy!
    How would you feel about telling her about these calls? Maybe an actual honest open conversation would be good..
    I want to tell her about them, but fear that she will take it the complete wrong way.. But perhaps you're right here- we are well overdue a good, proper conversation. Seems to me like something we need to do in person. Just not sure if I will have the courage to bring it up!


    Thanks for your replies guys. I should have added that these phone calls are usually after alcohol has been consumed- if that makes any difference to the argument.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You would be relieved and happy if your girlfriend was having phone sex with people you don't know? This doesn't sound like a good relationship to me.. But then again what do I know.

    To me it sounds like you just see your girlfriend as another woman, like the others, who you can just have phone sex with.

    What if your girlfriend doesn't like the fact you're doing this.. would you honestly be able to stop?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would definitely not be impressed if my boyfriend was having phone sex with other girls.

    Personally i think it's important to have a balance in your communication.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks

    I am meeting her tonight. Will be telling her everything.

    I'll let you guys know how it goes...
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