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Next week...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Trigger Warning...Probably!

Next week is going to be a year since Ella and Alice died, Also Alice's birthday. I'm unsure how I'm going to feel about this, Especially since I'll be getting a train on the 3rd, Which is two days after Alice's anniversary and two days before her birthday, More than likely I'll go off onto a suicidal episode. I've already started thinking of a plan to end my life on their anniversaries to be re-united with them...

Yesterday, the Ex was threatening to jump out of his window, He's on the 5th floor, and has a balcony(bit daft if you ask me) as i was walking past, So i got a staff to go speak to him, then another residents came downstairs and was speaking to me about how he always lies about how he's suicidal, and she was going to try and get him sectioned to stop him shouting about suicide. I started crying, saying i was tired and went to my room, But really, It brought back all the memories of my own suicidal thoughts, My mum being sectioned, and My friends suicide attempts. So i went to my room, Self harmed, and passed out...

I'm scared, at the thought of next week happening...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Emmalee :wave:

    I am sorry about your girls annivesary and Birthday are coming up and I can not imagine what you are going through at this tough time. All I can do is send you lots of hugs and reassurance that you can get through it even though it is going to be incredibly hard for you *hug**hug*

    Have you got someone to speak to who can support you next week? You said you are getting a train on the 3rd?

    We are here to support you next week so please keep posting of how you are :heart:

    purple_rain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't do this...I just need them :'(

    I can't believe its been a year
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    As harsh as it sounds you just need to get through this week. Busy yourself, do exercise, go cinema, any sort of distraction technique. I can say quite confidently that Alice and Ella would want you to get on with your life and not spend your time not moving forward. Just remember, it is only a few days. Try your best, it'll pass soon xxxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey em, how are you? *hug*
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