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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I only have one proper friend but she's back at uni now. I have another friend but she's only someone I go on nights out with, I wouldn't tell her anything. Plus I only know her as she's my boyfriends friends girlfriend.
    This morning he blanked me and went out somewhere. This evening he hugged me and said I'm a pain but he still loves me. Like its all my fault, like he's perfect.
    I feel empty. When he hugs me I want to pull away but I don't.
    I went outside before as my friend from uni rang me and now he's in mood.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Leaving him has to be your decision and you've to toughen up for it. It will hurt, probably a lot but, it does get better and it will get better. Everyone's supporting you and giving you advice and everyone cares so, don't feel you're alone and it is not your fault, none of it. You're a good person and you deserve better. Hoping it gets better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to toughen up? Thanks. I know I'm weak but as I've been saying I can't leave. I want to leave, I wish I could leave, but I can't leave. I don't know why, I wish I knew why but I don't and it's crap. I'm not staying here and taking all this shit for the sake of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I assume that came out wrong, toughen up means to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. I don't say you're week, indeed the fact you're putting through most of this for the kids shows you're not weak at all. I'm really not good at giving advices but, that is not what I meant to say.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I only have one proper friend but she's back at uni now.

    In my opinion, you should go and spend a few days with her. That isn't leaving, that is spending some time away to evaluate the situation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would but with my aspergers I hate getting on public transport on my own and I hate meeting new people, which is what I would have to do if I went to see her.
    Last night he was moody and started saying mean things because I went outside to talk to my friend on the phone. Imagine how he would react if I disappeared for a few days.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't be arsed with today :( feeling very drained. I know something will probably happen today and I want to avoid it.
    Had a good night last night, and once again reality is back.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Can't be arsed with today :( feeling very drained. I know something will probably happen today and I want to avoid it.
    Had a good night last night, and once again reality is back.

    Hope your okay. Always here for you. PM me if you need to talk lovely!!♡

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you.
    The kids arrived a while ago but I still can't bring myself to get out of bed. I hate this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's a prick! Apparently ITS ALL MY FAULT! Want to bash my head! Why me!? Why am I so stupid! AHHHHHH!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WE overslept... so it's MY fault? Fuck off. Going to cut myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every time I feel like I can probably go to sleep he starts another argument and now everything comes into it :crying:
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