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Should I tell my girlfriend I wear girls clothes?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, I'm a 19 years old boy and I'm not gay, I have come to love wearing girls clothes.
Should I tell my girlfriend and ask her for more of these clothes?
And should I wear this to school? Or should I keep it a secret?
I really hope you can help. Thanks so much.
Should I tell my girlfriend and ask her for more of these clothes?
And should I wear this to school? Or should I keep it a secret?
I really hope you can help. Thanks so much.
0
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Comments
I really wouldn't wear girls clothes to school, at least at this stage. If you wore them around your friends and family, and felt really comfortable and happy with the reactions you are getting, then I would think about it, but be aware that unfortunatly the vast majority of society still don't see cross-dressing as an acceptable thing. It is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, and if it make you happy go for it, just be aware of the consequences of doing it in public.
Should you wear it to school? Unless you've got skin of steel, and are immune to harsh comments and general douche bagness, then no, i don't suggest it. I quite often dress in feminine clothing, and sometimes to school, and you do get a lot more abuse for it in school, as some how it's acceptable to do it. Out in public? Go for it, the general public don't normally care or get involved. Obviously if you walk passed a group of chavs, they're gonna be like "lol", but that's expected.
At the end of the day, it's up to what you feel comfortable doing...
yeah，you are right,I considered too little, I have not to take my family's feel
I have a friend who cross-dresses (and is gorgeous) but gets a lot of shit out in public and you have to be prepared for that if you decide to be a bit more open.
If you think your girlfriend would understand, she would be a good person to have some of these conversations with. Be prepared for the fact that she might need to ask questions like, "are you gay?".
Gendered Intelligence are a good UK-based organisation for people who are transgender, cross dress, etc., you might find them helpful.
It can be accepted in society but i wouldn't do it in public without first realising the reactions that you WILL get from some people.
Peace
Do you feel that you want to be a woman? Or do you just like the feel of being in women's clothing?
Transgender is an umbrella term that includes transvestisism. You mean 'transsexual' when you talk about identification and transition.
Cross-dressing is not an exclusively fetishistic activity, it's a form of gender expression that sits outside the binary.
You're quite right. I used the wrong term.
I don't quite understand this.
Either he is dressing up in women's clothing because he likes the feeling of wearing women's clothing (sexual to a large degree?) - or he feels to some extent that he is a female trapped in a man's body. What other form of 'gender expression' might you be referring to?
I know I may be too simplistic but I am trying to understand better.
|^| What I should have said.
Hope I didn't sound hypercritical, just trying to be accurate for the OP's sake.
So why would a man wear women's clothing (unless it's a pseudo-political statement i.e. Eddie Izzard)? There has to be some motivation and I don't understand what that might be?
YES!
You should tell your girlfriend because relationships need to be based on trust. You need to trust that if she cares then it wont bother her and she needs to trust that it doesn't change the way you feel about her.
I really hope it all goes well for you dude!
There are as many motivations as there are people who wear clothes of the opposite gender. Why do you wear your particular type of clothing?
As for "pseudo-political", what does that mean?
There's a club in Vauxhall where crossdressers are welcome (I like to cross dress too sometimes).
I think with your girlfriend, it really depends... Obviously, in a perfect world she'd accept it, but in the real world people are so hung up with gender roles that she may not. That said... Wouldn't you rather be with somebody who accepts you anyway?
I think the thing is that if you're still in school, it may be better to start wearing these clothes in public once you leave. If it's anything like my school, kids could be quite brutal.
Kate Bornstein does a lot of work for young people who fall outside the traditional gender binaries. There are a few online communities out there as well, who would support you.