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Tell me a joke

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just remembered I heard a Thunderbirds joke that made me laugh. If you appreciate this, you're showing your age ;)

    "Parker?"
    "Yes m'lady?"
    "Take off my dress."
    "Yes m'lady."
    "Parker?"
    "Yes m'lady?"
    "Take off my bra."
    "Yes m'lady."
    "Parker?"
    "Yes m'lady?"
    "Take off my knickers."
    "Yes m'lady."
    "And don't ever let me catch you wearing them again!"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting married in unusual places has become very trendy.

    The other day I heard of a couple who got married in a lift, of all places!

    Apparently, their relationship has been constantly up and down since!

    :)
    :yippe:
    :d
    :hyper:
    :naughty:
    :yes:
    :crazyeyes
    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You just reminded me of a Star Wars joke.

    Vader: "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."
    "No you don't!"
    "I do, I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
    "You can't possibly know."
    "I do. I felt your presents."

    (Puns are never so good in writing.)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man goes into a car breaker's yard looking for a VW Golf driver's door.

    The attendant says: "Sorry, we don't have any in at the moment, but the breaker's yard down the road might have one!"

    The man says: "Just as a matter of interest, how much do they cost when you have them in?"

    The attendant says: "£25 pounds!"

    The man then goes to the next breaker's yard just down the road and asks: "Do you have a driver's door for a VW Golf?"

    The attendant says: "Yes, we do!"

    The man asks: "How much are they please?"

    The attendant says: "£45 pounds!"

    "WHAT!" Says the man, the yard up the road only charges £25 pounds for them!"

    The attendant says: "So why didn't you buy one from them?"

    The man says: "They didn't have any!"

    The attendant says: "Ah I see ... ok, ... well ... if you come back when we haven't got any, ours will only be £22.50 then!"

    :yes::hyper::lol::wave::love::yippe::naughty::razz::crazyeyes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Passengers on a plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both are wearing dark glasses. One is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

    Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start.

    The passengers begin glancing nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.

    As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, screams of panic fill the cabin. But at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

    Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've put me right off easyJet now!!! :eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A young lad of 16 goes to a dance. He's leaning up against the bar eyeing up the talent, and he spots a very sexy looking young woman in her early twenties.

    Being a bit of a Jack-the-lad and full of confidence, he strolls over to her and asks if he can have the pleasure of the next dance.

    The young woman frowns, looks down her nose at him, and says: "What me - dance with a child!"

    The young lad said : "Sorry, I do apologise, I didn't realise your condition!", and walked back to the bar.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    A completely nude woman enters a cab and asks the driver to take her home, giving the address. The driver starts going there but whenever they stop at a red light or because of traffic, he turns around and looks at her all over. Eventually she says, annoyed:
    -What's the problem, never seen a nude woman before?
    -I have, but I don't see any wallets and I'm worried.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One day Murphy says to Seamus 'why is it that scuba diver fall backwards into the sea?' 'Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat'
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring in the wrong finger?
    B: Yes I am. I married the wrong woman.
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