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Worried about getting started...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Anyone got any info or advice about getting started in Freshers Week?

I'm really painfully shy and have been all through highschool and I just want to make the right start with uni... cos, damn it, being shy is BORING!!! I'm nervous about going out clubbing and things cos I haven't done a lot of that yet and I'm not too confident about speaking to people...

I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through the whole shyness thing... especially if things turned out well for them!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one thing to remember is that you are not alone, everyone will have been uprooted from friends and family and be nervous about making friends and surviving it all, but you will be fine.
    Freshers week is a strange time, with cheesy events organised by your union with the sole aim of getting you drunk and laughing and hopefully making you a few friends. Try to join in, or go along and watch from the sidelines, people will talk to you.
    For more advice look at these: http://ned.thesite.org.uk//student/making_friends,_avoiding_cliches.html

    Relax and enjoy, and come back and tell us how it went...
    Susie <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx for the support and advice!

    I know this is a silly question but on the 'meeting people' page it suggests you don't use all the conversation cliches like what course are you doing, where are you from etc - thing is, although I know those are boring, I've no idea how else to get convos going with people I've never met and have no idea what their interests are. I feel like I can't just walk up to someone and randomly ask what music they're into or what's their view on the mystery of creation, i need to start somewhere!*lol* Any tips?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That bit is just an alternative guide <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    the usual questions do the trick and help you get conversations started, don't worry about it too much, all will be fine. Just remember it is a new experience for everyone and there is no right or wrong way to go about it, just be yourself.
    Susie <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK, thank, will do! I'll let yous know how i get on!

    One other thing, is it ok to turn up to events and stuff on your own? Since i'm not staying in the halls of residence i'm worried people will already be in groups and things and i'll look silly turning up on my own - it's one rule of highschool, never be seen alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chill. Your determination to make the most of the new experiences means you will be fine.

    I hated high school, and like you didn't get into halls but wanted to changed the pattern of my life. I succeeded. If me-4-years-ago met me-now she wouldn't recognise me, and I'm glad!! Take a deep breath and go for it with people...there'll be loads in the same boat as you. And if it all goes terribly wrong, who cares? It's not like school where you have to face people the next day, you can choose who you hang out with in uni!

    If it seems bad at first...stick with it, please. I went to America to study for a year and the first couple of months were a bit awful. But I stuck at it and decided that I was going to make the best of it and not quit. By Christmas, I was having a blast. Getting to know people takes time, persevere. Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there.

    I understand totally how you are feeling, I think everyone goes through it to a greater or lesser extent, and if your high school expereince hasn't been that amazing then you're likely to be a bit more nervous than most.

    The most important things to remember (as I see it, and obviously you may disagre) are:

    1) Be yourself. Don't put on a fake front, it will only scare people off who are probably feeling exactly the same as you are! Also you'll end up making friends you don't really like or understand and not having as much fun as you could.

    2) UNI IS NOTHING LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. I was bullied at high school for the way I dressed, talked etc. but here nobody gives a shit. By all means turn up to things by yourself, in all honesty that's probably the best way, as people are more likely to talk to you if you are on your own: hence you'll meet lots more people. It also means that you will be doing what YOU want rather than what everyone else does. Hell, if you want to go to the chess club, or the buddist society, or the rock nite, then just go, alone or otherwise. NOBODY SHOULD BAT AN EYELID. If they do, twat them and tell them to grow up!!!! Don't get pressured into doing stuff and wasting money on clubs and societies that your friends join if you don't want to (sounds stupid but I know loads of people that did that)

    3)If you do have problems there are usually places where you can go for support.. at my uni

    4) If you want a tip... join a SMALL society to do with something you know nothing about but seems quite fun

    ie rock climbing, role playing, fencing, folk music

    as most people will be new to it, and it will be fun to learn something together.

    Just a few thoughts...

    good luck!

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