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Why can't this nightmare ever end?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I don't know what to do.

This girl that I've liked for so long is p*****g me off now. She either talk to me on Facebook in particular for a little bit and go off, or she'll ignore me completely. She considers me a friend but isn't acting like it, and I've had enough. I don't know what to do.

I really don't want to stop talking to her because the problem is, I have no avenues to go through for talking to other girls. And I suck at online dating.

I'm trying to distract myself by going out once in a while. Swimming, walks, cinema; but she's been in my head for so long and can't get her out.

Life is so unfair! Why can't I be a good person. I don't even know what I've done to deserve this.

:banghead:

I'm so sorry. :nervous:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Wavy.

    First of all the way one girl treats you does not make you a bad person and you don't need to be sorry.

    Honestly, i think you have to let it go. It sounds like she doesn't value you like you value her and is basically picking you up and putting you down again as she pleases (partly because she knows she can) I would say leave it be and if there is to be any contact let her initiate it.

    You shouldn't talk to or place value in someone just because there "is noone else". It sounds like the nature of your relationship with this girl is actually causing you more harm if anything, and you should put yourself first.

    You are asking when the nightmare will end but honestly you are the only one who can end it

    I am telling you this as someone who is going through almost the exact same thing. I have a seriously hard time following my own advice, but i hope you do.

    Feel free to drop me a PM if you fancy a chat or whatever
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Neddy.

    I think what you're saying is right about her talking to me when she pleases because she knows she can. I think it's just she thinks (well knows) she's better than me, but it just hurts.

    I just want to be happy. :crying:

    I hope what you're going through isn't as bad.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Neddy wrote: »
    Honestly, i think you have to let it go. It sounds like she doesn't value you like you value her and is basically picking you up and putting you down again as she pleases (partly because she knows she can) I would say leave it be and if there is to be any contact let her initiate it.

    You shouldn't talk to or place value in someone just because there "is noone else".
    Exactly this.
    I actually went through the same thing recently (except that I just wanted her as a friend, while I think you want more -but that shouldn't make a difference in this topic). I'm sorry there's no more advice I can give (such as how to meet more people), but I'd definitely say that based on everything I remember you saying it sounds like Neddy is right.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wavy wrote: »
    Thank you Neddy.

    I think what you're saying is right about her talking to me when she pleases because she knows she can. I think it's just she thinks (well knows) she's better than me, but it just hurts.

    I just want to be happy. :crying:

    I hope what you're going through isn't as bad.

    No worries.

    She isn't better than you.

    That's what i meant. It sounds like by continuing to attempt to have something with her you are actually making yourself unhappy. Maybe come off facebook for a bit?

    Much like Indrid i don't really have any advice on meeting new people (cos i suck at it) which is a shame because i think an attachment like the one you (and i) have can often happen through sheer loneliness.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Note: This is probably more suited to H&WB. Mods will probably move it tomorrow, just warning you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At work at the moment, finding it so hard.

    I just want to shut down.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wavy wrote: »
    I think it's just she thinks (well knows) she's better than me

    And you want to be friends with someone like that because ?

    Unfriend/block her on facebook, or whatever it is you do and move on. She's being a twat and look at the state you're in over a 'friendship' on the net.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I physically know her as well, we have met numerous times; but that's not the point.

    I feel unappreciated, after a lot of stuff I've done for her as well.

    Ugh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, the choice is yours.

    carry on letting her treat you like a piece of shit

    or

    ignore her and move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wavy wrote: »
    Well I physically know her as well, we have met numerous times; but that's not the point.

    I feel unappreciated, after a lot of stuff I've done for her as well.

    Ugh

    If she doesn't appreciate you now she isn't likely to appreciate you more in the future.

    People like this are ten a penny sadly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean guys. Sorry, I'm acting really stupid over this.

    The reality is, I'm just not good enough for this person, therefore I'm not right for her; and I just need to accept defeat. I just wish I was better. Oh well.

    Going to try and move on, and see how that goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not listening. Not being right is NOT the same as not being "good enough" (whatever that means)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's the one with the problem; not you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wavy wrote: »
    I know what you mean guys. Sorry, I'm acting really stupid over this.

    The reality is, I'm just not good enough for this person, therefore I'm not right for her; and I just need to accept defeat. I just wish I was better. Oh well.

    Going to try and move on, and see how that goes.

    This has nothing to do with who's a good or better person. I - and I would say virtually everybody - am (is) not interested to be friends with every person I get to know. Usually this is mutual and people realize this. I cannot tell you why she is not interested in you, but it does not matter anyway. I can tell you tho, if I heard someone say either directly to me or over someone else that they are such a bad person and not worth my time I would more than ever be disinclined to talk/spend time with this person, because such a submissive doormatish behaviour/inferiority complex is actually quite repulsive.

    Now stop the self-pity and show another person who appreciates you why you are worth their time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    This has nothing to do with who's a good or better person. I - and I would say virtually everybody - am (is) not interested to be friends with every person I get to know. Usually this is mutual and people realize this. I cannot tell you why she is not interested in you, but it does not matter anyway. I can tell you tho, if I heard someone say either directly to me or over someone else that they are such a bad person and not worth my time I would more than ever be disinclined to talk/spend time with this person, because such a submissive doormatish behaviour/inferiority complex is actually quite repulsive.

    Now stop the self-pity and show another person who appreciates you why you are worth their time.

    Thank you Strubbles. I'd just have to find that person first.
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