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Motorway and dual carriageway nerves

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I had a driving lesson today was suppose to be my last pass plus lesson but I panicked so so much.... On the dual carriageway I was doing 45mph tops and the national speed limit is 70.... On the slip way to the motorway I was doing 30/35mph I cried and cried I was shaking I felt physically sick... When I finally got on the motorway I was doing 50/55 tops and the speed limit is again 70.... So now my instructor can't pass me so he has given me a free lesson on motorway and dual carriageway so he can pass me.... I want to pass so much but my nerves take over big time.... Has anyone got anything that I can do for my nerves no tablets or anything please...

Thanks
MrsMcelderry
Xxxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Breathing exercises (before you set out!) to regulate your heartbeat and slow your breathing might help.

    Don't assume the same thing will happen again, though, it was your first time with a new instructor and it's natural to be nervous in those situations, it might be fine next time! :)
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    You shouldn't be on the motorway without a licence anyway.

    My bad. Re read the post and saw pass plus.
    You need to get used to driving at speed and realise motorways are the safest roads in the uk
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Practise, practise, practise.

    That's all it is.

    Do you have access to a car? If so, get out driving as much as you possibly can between now and your next lesson.

    Motorways and dual carriage ways are actually the easiest roads to drive on - just a bit daunting to begin with. Take your time and try not to focus on the speedo. Remember you've got your instructor to look after you - then find a car that looks sensible and concentrate on following them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Piccolo that's what I was trying to do before and I was Okaii but soon as I got on the dual and motorway I panicked so much I cried..... But I was Okaii until my best friend got killed on a motorway and ever since then I panic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I drive all the time and I go all back roads so I can avoid dual and motorways
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Much as it must be hard because of your personal experience, you're actually much much safer on the dual carriage ways and motorways than you are on the back roads.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do people say motorways and dual carriageways are safe when my best friend and others got killed on them... They are not safe...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sadly people can get killed on any roads. whether they're motorways, dual carriageways or tiny little streets like the one a girl from school I knew was killed on.

    my advice would be take someone with you who's experienced and go out later at night when it's a bit quieter, I did this with my dad to get used to slip roads/joining motorways/changing lanes and then gradually built up to it being busier. the more you do it the more confident you'll get.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No roads are safe.

    Go and look at the statistics if you think it would help. Motorways are safeR.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the slip road I was doing 30 coz I panicked.... In two weeks my next lesson will be my 3rd time on the motorway.... It was late at night last night and I still panicked.... I just want to pass my pass plus as need the qualification to be a driving instructor and on one of the tests in the training of an instructor u need to be driving on a motorway and dual carriageways....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you practise in the mean time?

    Combination of getting used to the driving at speed, and on maybe some low dpeed dual carriage ways (where it's more like 2 lanes than a dual carriage way) to get used to it?

    If you can't drive at a sensible speed then you're heading to the territory where you're a danger to yourself and others.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the slip road I was doing 30 coz I panicked.... In two weeks my next lesson will be my 3rd time on the motorway.... It was late at night last night and I still panicked.... I just want to pass my pass plus as need the qualification to be a driving instructor and on one of the tests in the training of an instructor u need to be driving on a motorway and dual carriageways....

    A thought occurs that perhaps driving instruction is not the career for you...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I want to be a driving instructor. And I will be a driving instructor. I have just over 3years to get over this fear.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually if you're this nervous trying to be an instructor is probably a bad idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    Actually if you're this nervous trying to be an instructor is probably a bad idea.

    I will get over this fear no matter what. Im asking for ideas to deal with nerves not asking u all to upset me and make me think different about the career I want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People aren't trying to upset you, they're just being realistic. It's great that you're determined, but from an impartial view, people here are able to see that a nervous instructor isn't the best thing for someone learning to drive. Even if you don't vocalise the fear, someone will be able to pick up in you tensing; having the calmest of instructors tensing at a stressful moment is enough to panic anyone, without the additional fear of major roads.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No course they ain't! I'm trying to be positive about things and Persuing one thing that I have always wanted to do and ur all saying coz of my fear ATM is stopping me. I have 3 years to conquer this fear....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I definitely think fear is something you can overcome. It just comes from experience. So if you are determined you shouldn't let anyone hold you back.

    It sounds like you feel comfortable driving on the backroads, but when you get onto big fast roads you just seize up and panic? This could definitely be related to what happened with your friend. Have you thought about bereavement counselling? Talking it through might help you.

    As Firenze says, no roads are completely safe - but at the same time the UK has one of the highest road safety records in the world. You are better to be a driver here, than anywhere else.

    Have you been taught about the concept of defensive driving? It's about forward planning and being in control of the car. If you are driving and thinking 'in the moment', as soon as everything speeds up - it can be very easy to feel overwhelmed! But if you plan ahead - scan the road ahead, behind, create space - you are 'boxing off' those bits of panic so you can concentrate on controlling the vehicle (including driving at the right speed).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i want to over come and i will.... my instructor Simon says its down to what happened with my friend thats why i panic he says its normal...... and that its easy to over come... im waiting to hear back from cruse...... yeah Simon told me all bout it that i should plan ahead so like when im coming up to the motorway or dual carriageway i should think about the speed i need to be to join and when i get on there and when needing to over take need to plan when im going to over take and all this.... its just soon as roads become 2 lanes i panic like mad..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In addition to what ShyBoy said about bereavement counselling (and I hope things work out with Cruse on that front), I wonder if talking to your GP might be an option? If it's a specific issue causing this level of anxiety a targeted course of CBT (or something like it) might be available to you.

    I'm really glad your instructor is supportive.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I may go to my GP Monday morning... I just want to get over this and pass and be a driving instructor in 3 years..

    Simon is an absolute star he is so supportive he is determined to help me beat this fear..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    Actually if you're this nervous trying to be an instructor is probably a bad idea.

    :thumb:I second this.:thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I will get over this fear no matter what. Im asking for ideas to deal with nerves not asking u all to upset me and make me think different about the career I want.

    What I'm suggesting is that you should set more specific, shorter term, goals, perhaps on the way to your end point of being an instructor.

    I'm not saying that you need to abandon your dream, more that it is currently a long way off, and you have some practical issues to deal with first. The fear does not need to be associated with your wish to be an instructor.

    An example of a more achievable goal than "being an instructor" might be "join a dual carriageway without panicing" then "travel 5 miles on a dual carriageway without panicing" then "join the motorway", and so on.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Practice motorway driving really early Sunday mornings when there is little to no traffic.
    This will help you merge off the slip road, and you can practice driving at higher speeds without having to change lanes too much.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Practice motorway driving really early Sunday mornings when there is little to no traffic.
    This will help you merge off the slip road, and you can practice driving at higher speeds without having to change lanes too much.

    And take a friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Practice motorway driving really early Sunday mornings when there is little to no traffic.
    This will help you merge off the slip road, and you can practice driving at higher speeds without having to change lanes too much.

    And take a friend.
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