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post natal depression

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe youre right. I think because it happened straight after she saw my cuts and just happened to mention social services after. I don't know
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can see why you're thinking that, but I agree with Kaff, the GP was probably just giving him a once ever to make sure there was nothing glaringly obvious such as a skin condition which resulted in poor sleep. Your GP could have communicated that better with you though, and perhaps thought ahead about how you would feel.

    Lots of love and hugs x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks ella

    im glad I posted here instead of dwelling on it all day, think i'll leave it actually
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she's asking about arching his back and he's crying a lot then she's possibly also just doing the double check that there's no underlying reason for it. Babies often get rashes which can be symptoms of stuff so she'd be checking for that as much as anything else.

    By the sounds of it she's being very supportive - so even if she was double checking that there's no sign of any harm to B, if she's being helpful and saying that there's no child protection issue then it's probably so she can fight your corner more strongly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks,

    I think I was just being paranoid. She has been very supportive. Someone from the mental health team is coming tomorrow morning to assess me. Hopefully they can help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can see why you'd feel paranoid - must be very worrying. You're clearly doing an ace job with Mr B. Hopefully they can help, even if it's partly just reassurance that a lot of it is normal, and will improve with time, and get you some tips for managing it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    amazing-

    if im referred to the crisis team apparently social services are automatically involved and do an assessment on baxter. yet when I contested this and said my hv has no concerns was told that if hv can vouch for it then social services don't have to be involved.

    so I guess it isn't automatic then!

    all kinds of wtf going on in my head now :confused::confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might be a terminology thing.

    If referred to crisis team them social services get notified. Social services do a first pass assessment - which involves contacting HV. HV says all is fine. Social services 'assessment' complete.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might be a terminology thing.

    If referred to crisis team them social services get notified. Social services do a first pass assessment - which involves contacting HV. HV says all is fine. Social services 'assessment' complete.

    This is probably the case. It'll be all about systems and procedure with SS.

    There is automatic SS involvement here if your child attends A&E 3 times in 6 months, but that's not to say that if that happens there is definitely suspicion involved. Can be as simple as SS access medical records to find 3 common childhood injuries. They contact HV, who reports a happy, well-cared for but very clumsy child! Matter goes no further.

    It's hard not to feel judged, but you have to remember that they have systems in place to identify children in danger, and it is better for children who are in no danger to fall into these catchment areas than it is for vulnerable children to slip through the net.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To add to what Kaff said, I think all 3 of us had HV visits at some point after recurrent A&E trips. Was rapidly identified that we were all just walking disasters and that was that. Fortunately the flagging process stops at some point, otherwise the poor HV would never have stopped coming for my baby bro.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah im sorry. another wobbly moment from me. who'd have thought I got half way through an ma in social work? ha.. :rolleyes:

    I think i'm just overly sensitive right now. thanks for bringing me back to earth (again) guys
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah im sorry. another wobbly moment from me. who'd have thought I got half way through an ma in social work? ha.. :rolleyes:

    I think i'm just overly sensitive right now. thanks for bringing me back to earth (again) guys

    Motherhood and degrees are totally different. Having the information about SS and facing a visit from them for real and are so different, mainly the emotional factors involved in being a new mum... You're bound to feel sensitive and anyone who suggests otherwise hasn't experienced the crazy hormones or sleepless nights and everything else.

    You're not doing a bad job at all, lovely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thankyou ella xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what is wrong with me

    just sent josh another message telling him I hate him and blaming his work hours for my self harm.

    how nasty can I get before he dumps me??
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Has he reduced his hours at all? Have you recently broached the subject with him? You have to remember a man will also see it as his job to provide for his family so he might not see an issue.

    You are doing a great job, just keep plugging away. Josh won't dump you, he loves you and he loves your family.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup but he just mumbles we cant afford it. Yet he doesn't seem to know how much working tax we are getting. We need to sit down with an advisor to go through everything but as he only has sunday off he thinks it isn't even do able.

    im not well, stretched beyond the end of my tether. you must have seen the good suggestions on fb for sorting out a sleep routine for b starting with sleep training. I cant even implement any of that because of how im feeling. I don't have the energy but know its just gonna be a neverending cycle otherwise.

    on the plus side my emo crying seems to have sent b to sleep!! sensitive chap eh :yeees:

    and I appreciate you reading this thread hulby and hope it isn't freaking you out cos really its just a mixture of our crappy personal circumstances. it isn't all doom and gloom. I just lack any perspective right now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does josh have anytime off during normal working hours? Even if not full day - or lunch break maybe?

    How about another text, assuming this is right, saying you're sorry, you don't mean it, you're just struggling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We do meet for lunch around once a week but we have to stick to that because the bus fare into where he works is 5.90 for a return. It does help a little but I always feel sad because the house just flies by.

    I know that would be the logical thing to have done but he's so used to it. I apologise so much that it must just seem meaningless to him now.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    yup but he just mumbles we cant afford it. Yet he doesn't seem to know how much working tax we are getting. We need to sit down with an advisor to go through everything but as he only has sunday off he thinks it isn't even do able.

    im not well, stretched beyond the end of my tether. you must have seen the good suggestions on fb for sorting out a sleep routine for b starting with sleep training. I cant even implement any of that because of how im feeling. I don't have the energy but know its just gonna be a neverending cycle otherwise.

    on the plus side my emo crying seems to have sent b to sleep!! sensitive chap eh :yeees:

    and I appreciate you reading this thread hulby and hope it isn't freaking you out cos really its just a mixture of our crappy personal circumstances. it isn't all doom and gloom. I just lack any perspective right now

    You do need to see an advisor or spend some time working out your finances yourselves, and Josh needs to be home as much as possible to spend time with B as well as to support you. Hopefully you can see some room for him to cut down a bit in your finances, working six days a week isn't doing anyone any good including Josh.

    and don't worry about freaking me out :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I meant was that is there anyway that you and Josh could go an see an advisor during a lunch break?

    Also, remember that you can have a pretty good go at a first part of budgeting and finance side of things yourself. You're a smart cookie and you can most definitely count - so do you think it would be possible to have a shot at it yourself?

    There's probably a few people on here who would help if you made a start.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks you two :)

    had a mini meltdown this morning which resulted in josh not going to work.. but we had a pretty good day and went to the park. also been looking at our budget plan online and josh has made an appointment to see someone at his bank about a loan that can be paid off over a longer period with hopefully not much interest.

    if we can do that then he'd no longer need to work at the gym :) fingers crossed
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    How are things going Wifeby?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    slooowly.. but a work in progress I guess.

    josh is booked in for a telephone call with a debt advisory line on Thursday so we can work out whether a loan would really work. Bit frustrated because he said he'd need to give the gym at least a month's notice to stay on good terms with them. It's understandable but kinda defeats the purpose of needing him around pronto.

    My mum's partner is still coming over most days to give me a hand and I'm seeing a consultant tomorrow. fingers crossed for everything at the moment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does Josh have any leave he can take?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ..

    I don't deserve to be a mum
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really hope you're okay, I've messaged you. :heart:
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I don't deserve to be a mum
    Of course you do. Please don't let anyone say otherwise, even yourself.
    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you ever go on any forums which are designed for mums? I haven't read the whole thread so don't know if this has come up but it might help to also use forums as well as this one where there are loads of other mums feeling the exact same way you do so you feel less alone? eg babyandbump etc
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just following up what Summer Raindrops said, I don't know if you ever use Mumsnet but they have a mental health forum on there. It may not be what you need to read other people's issues, but if you do think it could help, here is the link.

    Also (as a bit of an aside) there was an interesting report a few weeks ago about how new mums with MH issues are missing out on vital support, just to put it into context a bit.

    :)
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