Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Naive 15-year old Finnish girl and internet creeps

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, this girl really has put me in a moral dillema. Basically, I have friends in Finland and I can speak a bit of the language, so I go on this website, which is a bit like a Finnish Facebook sort of thing, although everyone can see your profile unless you block them. Anyway, out the blue, this 15-year old girl decided to start talking to me (plus she added my MSN). She loves music and is a bit of a Britphile. Anyway, she's very naive and seems way too trusting in older men she's met over the internet and older, foreign men, seems to be a particular fixation with her.

Anyway, I was worried about her from the start. She was a bit too flirty for my liking, but worse was her insisting that we meet if I visit my friends (I mean this was on the first MSN conversaton!).

Anyway, in that same conversation she told me about this 27 year old American guy (who lives in Helsinki) who said he loved her. She'd met him off Last.fm. She told me that she was convinced he was only after one thing, so I was glad she didn't seem to be so gullable. Anyway, over this short period, she's told me a bit more about him. She told me he wanted "to fuck" as she so delicately put it in English. I asked what she said and she told me she said she'd think about it. Apparently, she's never found this guy attractive but was considering it because she's a virgin and she wants to try it. I found this an awful way of looking at it and told her so.

Anyway, she told me that they'd already met up previously and that she'd only did it so he'd get alchohol for her and her friends. Anway, earlier today, I checked out her Last.fm profile to have a little look for him. Anyway, I found him and knew straight away it was him. He had something like 360 messages on his wall and every last one of them was female. Not only that, they all seemed to be about 15-17 and from Finland. I looked at the conversations and they were nearly all initiated by him. He pretty much asks for MSN addies straight away and seems to try and arrange to 'hang out' some time. A lot of them say they don't have MSN. Some seem to say okay and one or two lay it on the line to him, saying that he's quite obviously a creep.

Anyway, this came to a head with her today, when she came to talk to me again. I decided that we needed to have a little chat about people you meet on the internet and having a bit of common sense. I got it out of her that she'd met this guy with a friend of hers. Then, she met him again, alone, he got her drunk and forced himself onto her. She said stop, but he wouldn't, although he didn't go as far as raping her. Quite frankly, she was lucky in that respect. I told her about how he was just a pervert and how she was naive but she just got defensive.

Anyway, this just gets better. I was re-reading through his profile comments on Last.fm, when I found this conversation with some girl (naturally, young Finnish & female). I found out that he's doing teacher training. This makes me sick! The thing is, I can't do anything about it. She's not going to complain. She blames herself and has serious esteem issues. So, that's it then. I know this and I can't do anything about it, knowing that this pervert will be working with children soon, if he isn't already as part of his training. How the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.ceop.gov.uk/reportabuse/index.asp

    Only thing i can think of. Don't know if they'll do anything as it's in Finland, but at least you'll of reported it to someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, there might be a Finnish version of it. I'll enquire on there and see if they can direct me to the right place.

    What I'm worried about though is if these officers are going to track this girl down and question her and her family. I think that would cause her a lot of stress.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well yes, that might happen. I've no idea how the authorities go about these things. But this guy's actions are inappropriate and you may well be stopping some sexual predator gaining a position of trust where he can abuse to his hearts content.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, I'll sleep on it tonight though. Im head's just too cabbaged to sort it out. She's seriously stressed me out tonight. Friday nights aren't suppose to be like this.

    Thanks for the advice, RubberSkin.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    Maybe I'm completely wrong but you dont know the Finnish girl and you're in another country. I get that you want to look out for her but really she could be anyone and/or deceiving you for whatever reason, the guy she mentions whoever he is could be completely innocent or not exist.

    Personally I wouldnt get so involved but I can see why you would want to. Just be wary I guess! But I dont think there is much that you can actually do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Considering I've seen his profile and it's quite apparent he's a creep, I'd say it's very believable.

    Plus, this ain't just about her, but him doing intensive teacher training. I'm finding it a bit difficult to just draw a line under that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael is right.

    In 2005, I signed on Faceparty which is like Facebook. Out of the blue, I had contact from a Russian girl. After we exhanged just 2 messages, she started going on how her previous partner was a drunk and used to beat her up. In my mind, she is expressing trust at too early a stage - remember, I (Monserrat) is just a stranger off the net. That message, plus a few other clues had me suspicious so I decided to google up some of the phrases that she used in her messages. Bingo - she was a scammer. Had I not wised up earlier, what would had happened was she would carry on writing to me, gaining more of my trust up to the point where we supposedly "fall in love". She then intends to fly to England to meet me (the so-called victim), but because she suddenly can't afford it, she asks the victim to wire some money across via Western Union.

    The Convincer - I know yours has a different story line, but I just want to make sure that The Convincer does not get Convinced into a money-laundering scam :-D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the one hand as rach and monserrat have said she's in another country, is it really your business and so on?

    On the other hand, an internet stranger saved my brother's life. So it's swings and roundabouts. I would pass the details on to someone who might be better able to know what to do with it, maybe even your local police station as no doubt they will have links with other countries and it does seem suspect. It's not your job to be detective, it's the police's, but if they don't know about it then they can't do that job.

    They may well dismiss it out of hand or whatever. In my brothers case thankfully they didn't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be wary of that girl, and not get involved.. this could either be real, leading to a scam, or some desperate means of making some money...

    The money part seems most likely as there are a parade of people currently, into some blackhat methods of promoting CPA offers.. so they can make the money..

    don't ask how I know that, but also just ask yourself, is it really important that you speak to some random stranger on the internet, then have a hearfelt talk to talk and expect to do something about.. if you do that's your choice, for me i'd steer well clear of anyone on the internet being so upfront about their life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Monserrat wrote: »
    Rachael is right.

    In 2005, I signed on Faceparty which is like Facebook. Out of the blue, I had contact from a Russian girl. After we exhanged just 2 messages, she started going on how her previous partner was a drunk and used to beat her up. In my mind, she is expressing trust at too early a stage - remember, I (Monserrat) is just a stranger off the net. That message, plus a few other clues had me suspicious so I decided to google up some of the phrases that she used in her messages. Bingo - she was a scammer. Had I not wised up earlier, what would had happened was she would carry on writing to me, gaining more of my trust up to the point where we supposedly "fall in love". She then intends to fly to England to meet me (the so-called victim), but because she suddenly can't afford it, she asks the victim to wire some money across via Western Union.

    The Convincer - I know yours has a different story line, but I just want to make sure that The Convincer does not get Convinced into a money-laundering scam :-D

    Ah, the good old 419 scam, or at least, a more sophisticated version of it. I've had fun messing about with 419 scammers in the past. No, this isn't a 419 scam. I'm convinced (no pun intended). For a start, this girl's profile includes lots of different photos of her and photos of her with friends etc, who leave comments etc. Secondly, this guy's also real, or at least has a real Last.fm account, which, over a space of several months consists of messages to many different young, mosly Finnish, girls. Add to this that she wasn't so forthcoming with telling me exactly what went on between them and it was me being quite persistent questioning her.

    The girl clearly has problems. She got upset after talking about him and went into a huge tirade about her life, how she hates herself, how her mother wants to leave her father, how men are all the same etc, etc. Seriously, I'm no stranger to the internet. I've encountered many weirdos, stalkers and crazies in my time, as well as the odd 419 scammer. This is definately a very mixed up teenage girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    On the one hand as rach and monserrat have said she's in another country, is it really your business and so on?

    On the other hand, an internet stranger saved my brother's life. So it's swings and roundabouts. I would pass the details on to someone who might be better able to know what to do with it, maybe even your local police station as no doubt they will have links with other countries and it does seem suspect. It's not your job to be detective, it's the police's, but if they don't know about it then they can't do that job.

    They may well dismiss it out of hand or whatever. In my brothers case thankfully they didn't.

    Well, this isn't really so much about the girl. The damage is already done there and to be quite frank, she was very stupid and naive, even for a 15 year old (not that she deserved what happened to her). The bigger issue her is that I know he's doing an intensive teacher training course in Helsinki. This means there will be kids who he'll be in the position of trust for looking after. These kids may not need to be so naive. Can I really just say that just because I'm not a member of interpol or just because it's not my child who'll he'll be teaching, that it isn't my problem? To be quite frank, I the whole 'it's not my problem' attitude is just what makes society a fucking joke these days.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, so I've read this whole story over and over. I must introduce myself, I basically love everything that has to do with Finland. Plus, I think finnish girls are beautiful-but I don't say that in a creepy way- and it makes me upset that a stupid Internet creep is manipulating girls from that country plus it is really wrong that a creep like this will be soon-if he isn't already at the time I'm posting this reply- will be working with kids who he can also manipulate to do inappropriate things.

    When I first read this I would've loved to get involved-although I am very far away from UK and from Finland (Mexico)- but now that I've seen the year when this thread started (2009) I don't I can get involved when this happened 4 years ago.
    The Convincer, If you had seen this message I'd tell you to get involved if you didn't when this problem first came to you. There is some sort of police in Internet who you can talk to they can block his last.fm account and also get him in prison if he has ever scammed or done any of the things you said he did.

    Well, that's it for me. The Convincer, if you still get into this site, please read this message.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi TuroMedrano

    As you've already noticed, this is a very old thread so I'm going to close it in case others spend time reading through before they realise how old it is too!

    But welcome to TheSite and feel free to start another thread of your own if you'd like to. You can also introduce yourself here and read our good manners guide if you'd like to stick around.

    :thumb:
This discussion has been closed.