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flashbacks Please read before posting/ it might upset people by reading it

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
When I was little I dint have a very good childhood. I wasn't going to post it on here but I need to post to get it of my chest. I wasn't going to put It but I thought it might help me.

When all my brothers and sisters was born my mum used to pay attion to one then push us us away. My mum and dad had a fridge that had a lock on it and we had nothing in our fridge. My mum let all my brothers and sister out to play but let me out sometimes not all the time. I used to get batted by all my brothers, sisters and. My mum. (My dad wasn't there at all but onley in the eveing). I got blamed for everything. One day my mum let us all go out and my brother fell in the river. I was sceaming for help lucky someone was There to help to get my brother out of the river. When we went back my mum ask why was my brother wet we told her that he fell in but yet again I got blamed for it and got batted and shouted at me to get to my room. She made me watch the others play out but not me and she was going hahah If u dint push ur brother in the river then u would be out there playing out with them. My mum kick my dad out of the house and chucked all of his things out. When my dad came home he dint have a clue what was going on. (My mum told all my other brothers and sisters to go to bed and told me to stay. She made me watch my dad get hurt (she planed this all). My sister fell of my dads moterbike. When my granma passed away. It was her funrel. I was crying in the cornor. My mum came over (everyone was there) my mum came over and told me to go other and told me that it was my fault that she passed away.

This is all my flash backs.
Is all my fault :(:crying::crying::crying::crying:

Comments

  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Heather,

    Well done on being able to talk about your flash backs Heather, I know from a previous post that was really difficult for you, how do you feel after posting this?

    It sounds like you've had a rather overwhelming past; I can only imagine how difficult things are for you now. The flashbacks sound overwhelming and distressing, how long have you been getting 'flashbacks' and has it been the same reoccurring one over and over again? I recall a session where I and my therapist explored 'flashbacks' and it often came from something that had triggered it, for example a negative thought, etc. Do you know the triggers to your 'flashbacks?'

    Are you currently in any form of therapy? Often having someone like a professional to explore 'flashbacks' with can be rather beneficial to, Self Injury Support Network also have a useful link related to Flashbacks and ways of coping with them that you may also want to check out. Remember were always here for you,

    Best wishes,
    Angel
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Heather

    *hug*

    Like Angel says, really well done for posting that - I know how hard it has been to open up, but it really means that people can help a bit more if they know what's upsetting you.

    Angel has pretty much said most of what I was thinking, but I will echo her question about counselling, because I'm sure it could really help you. Having a place where you can talk without being judged can be really beneficial, so perhaps you could talk to your doctor about being referred if you aren't having any already? If you don't know much about counselling then we have some great guides here on TheSite:

    What will happen when I start counselling?

    How can I open up to my counsellor?

    Big hugs to you Heather, I hope that it has helped to get it all out *hug*
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