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homosexuality

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have so many gay friends so this is something close to my heart, i just need some help on how to deal with not having a go at everyone who disagrees with it i have fallen out with family and disowned family members coz of it. anyone got any tips on how i can deal with the hate better please, i am Bisexual myself

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think there is. I refuse to have anything to do with homophobes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ignore the idiots. They're not worth the grief. Simples
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Ballerina wrote: »
    Ignore the idiots. They're not worth the grief. Simples

    I wouldn't say they were idiots. Growing up in a Muslim environment, I did grow up thinking being gay was VERY wrong. It's a sin getting with someone who is the same sex as you. Also entering College, and being surrounded by many people who were openly gay, and many whom are close friends it's enlightened me that it's so spoked about in the community. I still have a whole family who think that being 'gay' is wrong. Some Muslim fundamentalists have claimed that homosexuality stems from whispers of the devil. It is not only just a sin, but a crime under the Islamic law.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have so many gay friends so this is something close to my heart, i just need some help on how to deal with not having a go at everyone who disagrees with it i have fallen out with family and disowned family members coz of it. anyone got any tips on how i can deal with the hate better please, i am Bisexual myself

    Depends on how it is manifesting itself. Ignorance can be challenged with arguments and reasoning. Hatred on the other hand is something you cannot counter and those people do not deserve your time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I spent a week with 11 people, two of which where muslims, There was one who was really strict and strong about his religon for example he mentioned "You aren't born gay, You learn it, You chose to be gay, and being gay is a sin, Its a worse crime then abusing a child" another which, Wasn't so strict said "I'm not going to hate someone for being gay, If my bestfriend came out as being a lesbian, I'd still be her friend".

    I think it depends on who you have around you, but you can't change peoples mind and make them accept your sexuality it has to be up to them, Sometimes it takes weeks, Sometimes months, SOmetimes it can take years and sometimes, they can never accept..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyones entitled to their opinion, and you have to accept that even if you think their opinion is wrong
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Everyones entitled to their opinion, and you have to accept that even if you think their opinion is wrong

    yeah but they expect me to accept their opinions but they wont accept mine thats what annoys me the most
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah but they expect me to accept their opinions but they wont accept mine thats what annoys me the most

    Yea that annoys me too. I dont mind people believing whatever they want to believe but dont force it on other people. Like aid before, you just have to ignore these ignorant people, there are some you just cant get through to
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Angel** wrote: »
    I wouldn't say they were idiots. Growing up in a Muslim environment, I did grow up thinking being gay was VERY wrong. It's a sin getting with someone who is the same sex as you. Also entering College, and being surrounded by many people who were openly gay, and many whom are close friends it's enlightened me that it's so spoked about in the community. I still have a whole family who think that being 'gay' is wrong. Some Muslim fundamentalists have claimed that homosexuality stems from whispers of the devil. It is not only just a sin, but a crime under the Islamic law.

    People can think what they like. But from what I gathered these people are being hostile with their opinions which is upsetting the OP. But if they're not trying to cause problems then the OP should leave them be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Everyones entitled to their opinion, and you have to accept that even if you think their opinion is wrong
    :yes: This is so right and would resolve so many issues around the world. This and being empathetic would really help. Understanding the fact that everyone comes from a different social environment, different upbringing and different culture and keeping these things in mind while listening to their opinions and accepting it. Not that you've to change yours just accepting people for what they are. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *simba* wrote: »
    :yes: This is so right and would resolve so many issues around the world. This and being empathetic would really help. Understanding the fact that everyone comes from a different social environment, different upbringing and different culture and keeping these things in mind while listening to their opinions and accepting it. Not that you've to change yours just accepting people for what they are. :)

    Yeah I see what your saying but those who are homophobics expect us to change our opinions but when we tryto change there opinions we get shouted at and everything else. I dont see why its one rule for one and one rule for another.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I see what your saying but those who are homophobics expect us to change our opinions but when we tryto change there opinions we get shouted at and everything else. I dont see why its one rule for one and one rule for another.
    I totally get what you mean and empathize with you. As has been suggested by many members here it's better to ignore such people. What we do in our personal lives is our business and no one should interfere but, you can't help with some people. Don't worry you'll definitely find friends having similar opinions as you and I'm pretty sure they'll accept you for who and what you are. Wish you good luck and you do have all of us here for you too.
    xx sam
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate the saying "Homophobic" because having a phobia generally means you're scared of something, and people who are "homophobic" aren't scared of gay people, they're just...arseholes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    I hate the saying "Homophobic" because having a phobia generally means you're scared of something, and people who are "homophobic" aren't scared of gay people, they're just...arseholes.

    that is so true emmalee.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Angel** wrote: »
    I wouldn't say they were idiots. Growing up in a Muslim environment, I did grow up thinking being gay was VERY wrong.

    http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/local-news/muslim-lesbian-couple-defy-death-4015955

    As to the original question, "I think you're wrong, but I don't want to talk about it because I know at least one of us will be upset by it"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Coming out is hard enough without the affirmation of other peoples judgment and their opinions. I was fortunate in that my family accepted me for who I was. Though it is not as though I don't see moments when I'm being open about my attraction or gestures that I do not see their discomfort. People were raised in our last generation that homosexuality was a bad thing, something that spread disease, cursed us from god, and force social castration. I know coming out is hard, but remember why you came out in the first place. We all have our reasons, there comes a point in our lives when we find the reason to let it be known instead of hiding our sexuality in the shadows like many GLBT do.

    I don't know if this will help but for me coming out was something I felt I had to do. I hid my emotions and my true personality for years only showing it to close friends and trusted individuals but there came a time when I was tired of having to watch my tongue so that I didn't let it slip that I was with another man or express my feelings towards any member of the same sex. The act steadily became more of a weight on my conscious and finally I said I had enough. I told myself on the day I came out, that if you can't like me for me and accept me for who I am, you never truly loved/liked me in the first place.

    Try to remember no matter what anyone else tells you, it's your life. We only get one and some of us spent too long denying ourselves to waste time dealing with others opinions and beliefs. Do what makes you happy and pardon my language but the hell with everyone else. All wounds heal but remember we can only be hurt if we let it happen. Sometimes we don't mean to allow the pain to fester it just does, and yes some wounds scar but you shouldn't dwell on bad things. Move forward and live your life the way you want.

    We only get one, so why not enjoy it for what it's worth. Time is so ephemeral and it passes far quicker than any of us realize. If your family rejects who you are, show them that you haven't changed and you can be just as happy as they are. Sometimes even the people we look up to and hold dearest can be as ignorant as we are at times. Acceptance usually isn't an instantaneous thing, think how long it took you to realize yourself. Patience and time may be the answer as well. If not don't dwell on it and move forward otherwise you'll stagnate and linger in the sadness.
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