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When it all comes back?.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I never thought a stupid thing could upset me this much, There's two people in my course called 'Alice' and Everytime someone says their name, I instantly think they're on about my alice, and I think "she's back" only to be , Today on the bus Megan's funeral song came on, "Why-Rascal flatts" Which is about a girl who takes her own life, which Megan, Ella and alice all did, So i spent the full journey crying and missing them, I really need Alice right now, I just want to talk to her, Laugh with her do the crazy things we did, the same with Ella and Megan.
Then I feel guilty because I don't speak as much about Ella as I do about Megan or Alice and its not because I don't love her any differen't, I'm not sure why it is to be honnest, I just know I really want them back, and I'm not sure how I can deal with not having them here anymore, It seems more and more apparent that I should go and join them, because they need me more then anyone needs me.
I'd managed to try and ignore this, but since today its just all harder, I really don't see how I'll make it through the end of the week, we walked over a bridge on saturday and I kept thinking "I wanna jump" and throughout the week I'll be doing risky activities like, climbing a moutain, Night absail and I know, throughout the full thing I'm going to be thinking "nows my chance to end it".
Will I ever be over loosing them?. I'm not sure any of this made sense. I just need them:crying:
Then I feel guilty because I don't speak as much about Ella as I do about Megan or Alice and its not because I don't love her any differen't, I'm not sure why it is to be honnest, I just know I really want them back, and I'm not sure how I can deal with not having them here anymore, It seems more and more apparent that I should go and join them, because they need me more then anyone needs me.
I'd managed to try and ignore this, but since today its just all harder, I really don't see how I'll make it through the end of the week, we walked over a bridge on saturday and I kept thinking "I wanna jump" and throughout the week I'll be doing risky activities like, climbing a moutain, Night absail and I know, throughout the full thing I'm going to be thinking "nows my chance to end it".
Will I ever be over loosing them?. I'm not sure any of this made sense. I just need them:crying:
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