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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I hate writing these threads, I really do. I just thought I should try *something*.
I'm feeling really bad (broken record, yeah I know). I called in sick and have spent all day crying in his bed. He has to go out tonight and I'm worried about what I'll do.
I'm feeling like this too often - other people are fed up with me, and I don't blame them. I bet you guys hate me for starting another mental health related 'dark' thread.
There's no one I can call, there's nothing anyone can say to make a difference. Life is too painful for me. Even if its not always painful, it doesn't make the bad times worth it. Even if I had double the good times they wouldn't be worth it. I don't think I really care if things *might* get better - because right here in the moment things are pretty unbearable, and I can't see anything miraculously changing,
I'm feeling really bad (broken record, yeah I know). I called in sick and have spent all day crying in his bed. He has to go out tonight and I'm worried about what I'll do.
I'm feeling like this too often - other people are fed up with me, and I don't blame them. I bet you guys hate me for starting another mental health related 'dark' thread.
There's no one I can call, there's nothing anyone can say to make a difference. Life is too painful for me. Even if its not always painful, it doesn't make the bad times worth it. Even if I had double the good times they wouldn't be worth it. I don't think I really care if things *might* get better - because right here in the moment things are pretty unbearable, and I can't see anything miraculously changing,
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soothing skills for home:
have a bath
paint
hug people
bake for my parents
make tea
watch a funny DVD
wear my onesie
hug someone
soothing skills for away from home:
stop for hot chocolate
buy a magazine
look at water
sit in the grass
buy sweets
look at pictures
listen to music on headphones
I also have lists of tasks to do if I feel like I am at risk and need to be occupied:
write letters
plan a trip/holiday
sort out clothes for eBay/charity
read
clean
play games online
call someone
bake
go to the shops
obviously you have to think of your own to suit what you like/need/enjoy, but the point is that you need to find something to do while you wait for the feelings to pass (and they WILL pass,like they did before). it might sound silly or patronising, and of course reading a book or making a cake won't make it all better, but it will pass some time and give you something else to focus on, even if only for an hour. lower your expectations, don't aim for a total change in your life, just aim for a bit of peace for the rest of today. face tomorrow when it comes.
you'll be ok
Nobody is bored of the threads
Hugs.
I stayed with my boyfriend last night. He gave me massages / fed me chocolate.
I'm still not doing very well. Trying to arrange having the rest of the week off, but my tutor thinks I'm calculating how much time off I can get away with
I need this sorted by tonight. I need everything to go away for a bit, and its not.
I just wanted to echo what the others are saying - no one hates you for starting another thread - and if they do then they don't belong here, because that's exactly why these boards exist. If you find it helps even a smidgen with how you're feeling then post away!
It's good that your boyfriend is there to help try and distract you and brighten your mood - and it says a lot that you have people who care about you so much
The fight that you've put in to get the right services is really impressive and shows that you want to find a way out of this. Try not to lose faith, even though you're up against it.
Take care
*hug*
me too :yes:
This list is really helpful for others as well I'd say
Short version:
-Still feeling bad
-Would have been my 2nd anniversary with ex tomorrow, has brought up a lot of feelings to do with that.
-Also is a marker of time, don't feel like I've achieved anything in this time.
-Got a GP appt tomorrow, don't know why I booked it - there's nothing they can do.
If he did nothing, and you died, how would he feel, and what kind of person would that make him.
I feel so guilty for being with him I keep telling him he should leave, I warned him at the start but he said it didn't matter and that he wanted to be by my side I'm getting CBT but that's not really 'support' I guess. But it's the only thing I've got and will be the only thing I ever get.
I've just had my dose of ADs increased. My GP doesn't really know what to do with me I think. I had diazepam to take for a while, just when I needed it to take the edge of things (so I think for the most part I took it once a week if that) and that helped. But the psychiatrist prescribed that, and I've been discharged and my GP said he isn't happy to do that.