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Megan...I need you.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Its Megans Birthday today, in 6 days it'll be a year since she died...
I miss her and need her so much...
She was my Bestfriend..She came into my life all snotty nosed and wobbling as a tiny tot and pushed me over onto the floor, when i cried she gave me a biscuit she'd dribbled all over.
I can't go on...I need to be with her.:crying: I just need to be with her.
Bad thoughts...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't really know what to say. Do you want to talk about her?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wrote a status about her on facebook,..

    Its feeling weird because normally at midnight I get a phone call where she's singing cbeebies happy birthday to me, informing me she's just turned old. I miss the little things like that...I miss watching her walk into doors and tables and fall over flat surfaces.

    I argued with her just before she died....I pushed her over the edge...I did it..its my fault... :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think its right for you to blame yourself, even with an argument she must have known you love her, it's obvious to me that you did, and still do. Do you want to talk about what else was going on for her? What put her to the edge?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She was being bullied and being abused. and had no escape from it all and it all caused her to be depressed :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's really sad that she couldn't get away from it. it's not your fault.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't go on anymore :'(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you give up now, who will marry Jessie J?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't care about Jessie J :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh mate. It will be ok if you can make it a bit further.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I need her. I need her so much, Its been too long...I cant believe its been nearly a year...I miss her...I need her, I can't do this..

    I have to be with her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Killing yourself won't mean that you're with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it didn't work :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I could help. I know youre feeling desperate. Youre not supposed to go with her. Youre supposed to be here. Today was always going to be awful and it is. You need to get through today. One day at a time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but i couldn't save her. I couldn't save my own Bestfriend :'(.
    I miss her and I miss everything about her..the little things and the big things, I miss staying up till 5am having a conversation with her about the most random things, I miss listening to her sing...I miss her singing down the phone to me...

    I couldn't save her...I was too late :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if she wanted to be saved, then someone would have saved her. It wasnt your job. She did what she wanted to do and it wasnt your responsibility. You are the one left hurting over this, not her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its her anniversary in 5 days...

    I feel so low... I just can't go on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you can.

    just keep swimming

    this too will pass
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tied a message on a piece of card to a balloon...and let them go.

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats lovely. Glad you posted again x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A year today since you left us Megan and I'm struggling with it now more then ever..I need you so much, do you know how much I blame you and how much I need to be with you?. Please come back...I really can't be without you anymore :'(
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