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"friend"/work issue. Advice be greatly appreciated
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Why don't anyone care? I knew her from working with her at a local fast food joint 4 years ago. She snubbed me right from the start and wanted nothing to do with me. Yet, she talked to other ppl. Nobody cared that she hurt me badly. And to top that off, she's related to the boss, so management let her hurt me. I tried talking to her, but I couldn't get more than a few syllables out of her, if that. I tried joining in her conversations, but she never responded; other ppl did. Eventually, I became short with other coworkers, especially those she liked. Finally, I had enough and quit a year later.
That girl resurfaced last year at the mall. She was with a friend. I remember she told me she don't wanna be my friend when I tried engaging her in a conversation. I said hi and she didn't respond. And she never accepted my facebook friend request.
I'm at a better job now in a large retail for well over a year now. I thought it was all over, but I was dead wrong. Recently, (a week ago) she walked in with her friend. As usual, I said hi and she went, "Don't talk to me. Look the other way!" I was REALLY humiliated. I went to the back room and cried for the entire duration of my break (half an hour.) The following day, while we were all in the break room, I told my coworkers what I'm telling y'all now. My supervisor took me aside when break was over and told me not to bring it up again. It was inappropriate and furthermore, nobody cares. I was shocked bc I thought of all the ppl, she'd be the type to care! So I cried some more. Tell me: Why don't anyone care? WHY?
That girl resurfaced last year at the mall. She was with a friend. I remember she told me she don't wanna be my friend when I tried engaging her in a conversation. I said hi and she didn't respond. And she never accepted my facebook friend request.
I'm at a better job now in a large retail for well over a year now. I thought it was all over, but I was dead wrong. Recently, (a week ago) she walked in with her friend. As usual, I said hi and she went, "Don't talk to me. Look the other way!" I was REALLY humiliated. I went to the back room and cried for the entire duration of my break (half an hour.) The following day, while we were all in the break room, I told my coworkers what I'm telling y'all now. My supervisor took me aside when break was over and told me not to bring it up again. It was inappropriate and furthermore, nobody cares. I was shocked bc I thought of all the ppl, she'd be the type to care! So I cried some more. Tell me: Why don't anyone care? WHY?
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Comments
You may count all the fucks I do not give.
If someone was rude to me at my place of work, and it upset me, and then my colleagues told me to keep it to myself, I'd be upset too.
This other girl wasn't simply being non pally, saying 'don't even look at me' is downright fucking hostile. It's near enough bullying considering she has worked with her in the past.
The OP clearly isn't able to grasp that when someone says they don't want to talk, it really means they don't want to talk. If you continue to try and be friends with someone who doesn't want to be, they're going to snap and be rude.
As this is now approximately the 28,488th post from the OP on the same subject, with the advice being the same each time, I can very much empathise with anyone who is snappish and rude.
KissmeKate... you clearly have a bit of a history with this girl - starting with what sounds like her being pretty unprofessional to be fair. We don't all like everyone we work with but there is certainly something to be said for keeping a level of professionalism at work and being seen to get along with people and make the effort. It's a shame that she wasn't able to do this which led to you finding it harder and harder to work around her and your other colleagues.
Unfortunately from time to time we all bump into people from our past that we'd rather not see. Her behaviour sounds unnecessary but it's also important to respect her right to not want to talk to you. If that's the case then it's up to her and it would be worth trying to give yourself some closure on this. It sounds like your supervisor was disappointed that you'd let it affect you at work. It doesn't mean that they don't care but she was probably just doing her job and encouraging you to try and move on.
Unfortunately we can't always fix things from the past so I wonder how you might be able to find some peace with this and let it go? Do you feel you might be able to? ANd if not, what do you think is stopping you?
One thing that might help would be to focus on the people you do get a long with and that make you feel good *hug*
Agreed. I tried (a thread of mine in Relationships explains it) telling someone nicely that I didn't want to talk and it didn't work at all. In the end, I ended up being a bit rude - because it seemed (or so I thought) the only way for him to grasp that I don't want to talk to him.