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In-Law Advice Needed

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Years ago when we first met my future sister in-law and I never hit it off. She tried to break up my relationship with my husband by telling him (at the time we were dating) lies about me. We got married and her disliked for me intensified. It had gotten to the point where I told my husband that I would no longer visit them in the town where they lived, but whenever they would come to our hometown town, I made myself unavailable. As a result, my husband and his brother now have a strained relationship. Well. I just learned that my sister-in-law has died. Last May my brother-in-law told everyone except my husband that his wife had a terminal illness. We just learened of her illness in the past couple of weeks. My husband has said that he will not be attending the funeral. I am encouraging him to go and support his brother. However, I have said that I will not be attending because everyone knows how much we disliked each other. During my sister-in-law's last visit to our hometown, she knew she was dying, but did not try to make things right. Am I wrong to feel that it would be insincere for me to attend her funeral?

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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    I can understand a little of how you feel. Although it's not the same issue, there is someone who had married into our family I have never really gotten on with.
    I get the feeling she doesn't like me, and have always felt that - even though I was a kid and she was an adult when we first met.
    I always make an effort to be polite for the sake of others involved, but I tend to avoid her and not go out of my way or be overly generous to her. I know she wouldn't appreciate it.
    So if we disliked each other openly like with your situation, I would prefer to not go. But having said that, I would go to show my support for the rest of the family.

    You could go to support your husband, and offer your sympathy for your brother-in-law. Despite the fact you didn't like each other you could still acknowledge her life, for the sake of those who did love her.
    I think it comes down to how you feel about it. If you feel awkward going then don't.

    Hope that helps. xx
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