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Friends with benefits

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Me and the guy I've been with since oct have just split up and we said we would stay friends, he's now asked if we can be friends with benefits! I'm just wondering if this works with exs if people put rules in place (I've never been in this situation before) he says he still wants to be with me but too much has happened! I want to be with him so would this be a mistake?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't see it working as there will be emotions involved. This sounds more like him using you for sex rather than being a friend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is what I thought thank you!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He doesn't want to commit to you and wants to carry on having sex with you.

    You want to be with him.

    On no level does this work and tbh he is a d***head just for suggesting it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He just wants to be able to booty call you when he's horny and had an unsuccessful night on the pull.

    Which is all well and good but messy with an ex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men and women can be, and are, friends. I don't fancy every single one of my female friends (of which I have a lot) but that doesn't make them worse friends.

    I just don't think its possible to go from having a long term relationship to being friends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You totally fancy me though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    I just don't think its possible to go from having a long term relationship to being friends.

    I'm really good friends with my ex-boyfriend now, we split up in 2011 and neither of us wants to get back together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe I just hold grudges too much then :-)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    Maybe I just hold grudges too much then :-)

    I think it depends on the circumstances. I was friends with my ex-bf for a couple of years before we got together so that probably helped.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is no such things like friendship between exs. And this friendship with benefits is not complete break up too. But if you feel comfortable with this you can try and see what will happen. Personally I think that this won't work out because there is always have a little jealousy. It's more healthy to have real and complete relationship with someone who appreciate you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I don't this there a good ending if you become "friends with benefits" with your ex-boyfriend. Gets all confusing with feelings. And people get hurt.
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