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Struggling (Could be triggering?)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey this is my first time posting on here, but I have been on chat a few times.

I'm just struggling really bad at the moment, with self harm and suicidal thoughts. But I find that I cannot talk to my care team as I struggle with paranoia and find it generally hard to speak to them. But I can acknowledge I am deteriorating as I have gone back to overdosing, which I swore I would never do again. I'm really scared I could go too far and end up dead. But then again I'm also scared that it doesn't seem like such a bad option anymore.

I'm also scared that if I tell my care team, they will want me back in hospital. But I think I would be more scared if I did tell them, and they didn't do anything, because then I just wouldn't see the point.

Has anyone got any advice? sorry for the long rant.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hai :) welcome to the boards btw :wave:

    Tbh i think talking to the people who can help would be really helpful and i know its scary, but they are there to help i guess.
    Also stuff i do to try help myself are things like emotion expressive art and making things (recently started knitting). Even if it works for a while i find its good.
    Photography and art are good i find cos u can get your feelings out using them and then if you want share them with professionals you see. I also make expressive videos and have me own secret youtube account where i put them so i can see them build up and look at them easily in time order.
    Hope this helps a bit :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think telling people is the best thing you can do, i know it was for me when i was in your situation.

    also find a way to express yourself, or find people who empathise with you. me, for example. check out my blog and my youtube account, you might find something helpful there.

    i hope things start to look up for you xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your replies!

    I actually do art therapy once a week, which I enjoy.

    I have a meeting with my support worker and social worker tomorrow, so I will try and open up to them. I just find it so hard and I am struggling with paranoid thoughts.
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