Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

No pleasure from sex...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is a little more complicated than just simply not getting any pleasure, so please bare with me on this...


Well, as the title says, I get no pleasure from doing anything sexual. Admittedly, I've not actually had sex, but I get no pleasure from masturbating, or anything else like that. Or at least, I usually don't. A little while ago I actually had my first orgasm. My first, and only orgasm, and that's kind of what's complicated about it.

Normally, I don't get hard erections. They're somewhat soft, and if I gripped my penis, it would feel as if the blood was being squeezed out of it. But, the time when I had an orgasm, my penis was actually hard. As in, very hard (it kind of surprised me, seeing as I didn't think they were meant to get *that* hard).


My blood pressure is normal, my hormones are within the average/lower range (however still normal), I take no drugs or any other kind of medication, and I don't drink (apart from on very rare occasion) or smoke.


To be honest, this problem never really bothered me all that much before. It's just that now that I have experienced pleasure from masturbating, I'm kind of wanting to have that feeling of the orgasm again, because... well, it was very pleasurable :blush:


I don't really know how to end this... but if anyone has any comments, advice, or even potential solutions, you have no idea how much it would help me out :D

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Find something that makes you horny. Like pornhub.com and give your todger a good old pull :')
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tried that. Many times, in fact :P Watching Porn doesn't really make me horny. I mean, it kind of does, but only very marginally, and nothing more than what I would be if I used my imagination :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you tried reading erotic fiction? There's some good stuff online.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, tried that, too. It doesn't really work for me. Partially because my eyes go a bit blurry if I read anything on my laptop for more than a few minutes, so it kind of ruins the mood and what not :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly - can you remember if there was anything you did differently that one time? If so try repeating it and see if you have the same results, maybe you have very particular tastes!

    Do you get turned on mentally? If not that's ok, many people are asexual and that's perfectly fine! Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

    Also how old are you? If you are in your early teens, that's not so un-normal. If you do get mentally turned on and you're in your mid teens or older I'd go to your GP. But I won't worry too much, many people go through phases like this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There was nothing really different about it, apart from the pleasure, that is.

    I kind of do, but kind of don't... I mean, the thought of having sex etc does appeal to me and mentally turn me on, but in no way does it correspond to anything down below.

    And I'm 17, soon to be 18. I did go to a doctor, but he was pretty unhelpful, so I'll be booking an appointment to see another one within the next week or two
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In that case go to your local GUM clinic because if there is a physical problem they can fast track you to a specialist.

    Try experimenting in the genres of porn, try some things that you wouldn't think would work and try not to focus on making yourself interested. Instead try working your way through various catagories and see if anything pops up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It souds to me as though your body isn't becoming fully aroused, but it has done so on one occasion - which is good news because it means it can (but it's bad news, because you now know what you're missing - sorry)

    Personally, I don't think porn is the answer.

    I would strongly recommend professional advice, and do tell them about the time things did work out for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With you saying about my body becoming aroused - there isn't really any difference to my body when I'm masturbating. The time it was pleasurable, my muscles were tensing a little bit and I felt it through my whole body, but on all of the other times, I'd just feel as normal as I would be if I was walking to College.

    I'm going to book a doctors appointment tomorrow, so whenever it gets booked for, hopefully I'll get a bit more information, or be referred to some kind of specialist in these matters
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Alex,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Well done for posting this, it can sometimes be daunting to share these personal worries. Do keep us updated on how things go tomorrow :yes:

    Have a look at this article that simply suggests possible reasons for not having a hard erection as you say - here is a snipet;
    In young, healthy men, difficulty gaining or sustaining an erection is most often associated with psychological factors, but there is sometimes a physical cause. Sometimes it's a mixture of the two.
    Psychological: Performance anxiety, relationship problems, depression, stress, fatigue, loss of interest in sex.
    Physical: Diabetes, vascular disease, spinal cord injury, surgery, some prescription medicines, smoking, drinking, drug abuse, hormonal imbalance, epilepsy, multiple sclerosis.

    The doctor should be able to guide you to someone specialised, and/or give you more information or insight in this.

    Good luck *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you on any medication?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, so I rang up the doctors, but they're fully booked for the next week due to a outbreak of some kind of cold in my area, so that'll have to wait for another week or 2 at least now -.-

    And no, I'm not on any medication. I take the occasional paracetamol, but that's about it :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Alex

    Sorry to hear you've got to wait a while for an appointment. I thought I'd direct you to the Sexual Advice Association in the meantime - they have lots of info on their site and you can also call or email them for advice:
    Tel: 020 7486 7262 (the helpline is only open on Monday, Weds and Fri 9-5pm)
    info@sexualadviceassociation.co.uk

    I hope this is useful - good luck!
    Spanner
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seeing as I have next week off from College, I'm going to try and get a doctors appointment for any time within that week. Do you think I should contact someone from the Sexual Advice Association in the mean time, or should I wait to see what my Doctor says first, just in case he refers me directly to a specialist?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's entirely up to you but it might help you to talk things through with someone confidentially first. Of course, if you'd find it easier to go to your doctor first then that's fine - I just really wanted to let you know that they exist and they might be able to help.
    Good luck - let us know what you decide and how it goes :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I'm going to wait until I see my doctor first. Hey, I've already waited this long, so I'm sure another week or so can't hurt, right?

    And I need to see my doctor about my excessively dry skin anyways, so I think I'll wait until after, just in case he knows of any wonder cures, aha! :D
Sign In or Register to comment.