Please Help! I need you to be honest!!

Okay, I just want to say before I get into the inevitable, I have been using this service for a while and I am not just using it now to get views. Even though I guess in some way saying that as the opening sentence could make it seem like I am.
Anyway, as all of you don't know, I started a YouTube channel a while ago, I think 6 months or so and I am I guess popular. But I need honest help on what I can do to be better. I am honestly wanting to make this my life, I want to help people, make them feel better and honestly escape all the shit that someone feels a week, even if it is only for 5 minutes a week. Also I am going to use it as a voice to get my photography out and my art.
Anyway, this is where you come in, could you possibly just check out my channel, tell me the things I need to change, what is funny, what is not funny, things like my Channel Background, my new videos, the sound, anything. I want to hear mean coming from the replies because it will make me better at making my videos better and optimally be better for the audience.
You don't have to subscribe, I am in no way trying to get subscribers (But I mean hey if you want to, and tell people) (Lol I need humor) I just want the help.

Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/thisguytalkzz
(The next part is going to be the emotional side of things)


(I am serious)


Okay, so here is the reason why I started doing what I am doing and it will probably end up being something like :banghead: with myself. So as some of you may know I am not popular, I think I am, but I am really not. I think I have like maybe 2 friends at my school, that I can really talk with. So I started on the internet as a way to communicate what I feel in my head every day to people who might actually care, and with this forum in the beginning it really helped. But as I got more and more into the internet community I started writing blogs, on Blogger.com. Everything that I struggled with every day, the things I learned on the way and things that made me laugh and helped me get up in the morning. As I have told in the past I struggled with depression and loneliness and hate for myself, I know most people do, but it is different when you don't have anyone. So I did try to commit suicide. I did fail. Thank god. So, reading things and watching things that made me laugh really helped, then I learned as I got a little older that it wasn't what made me laugh that made me feel better, it was knowing that I had an impact enough to make someone else laugh that made me feel better. I could have been yelled and screamed at by my Mom, thrown down stairs, hit, or told that she hated me. But if at the end of the day I could make just one person smile, then that day was worth it to me and then, the next day would be worth it to me, because I hoped that I could do the same again.
My Blog at this point was getting a lot of followers, I assumed, I had no real way of telling if someone was coming back or it was just a new person. I was getting around 200 to 230 views a day, so I thought that was cool. I also posted a story like this every hour, because I didn't really go outside, I had no friends. Then my Mom found out about my blog and (Censorship) shut me down because I was (censorship) spreading lies about myself and my life. I wasn't.
So then about a month later or so later when I turned 12 I started taking the family camera into a secret place in my house (The attic) and recorded little V-logs of my life, my mom never found my YouTube channel because I was like Bob Cat the third. I actually had a following of about 580 people, most of which were watching because I was a sad little kid. I had that till I was 14 and moved to a different city. I shut my account down because I didn't want anyone to find out, and I felt bad for what I was saying, and I lost my password. It go deleted by YouTube while they were doing that thing where they delete inactive accounts anyway by now but still.
Then about 6 months ago I started on YouTube again, because I had no life still, and I want to use it as a voice to make people feel better, get my art work out and everything that I have said before. Accept now I am more experienced, mature and ready to leave whatever content I post up forever no madder how much it sucks. Also because I am moving again, and I know, like last time, there is no way I will have any friends so this will kinda turn into my life.
School-to get me thinking
Job- To get me working
A Computer- To get me cursing
YouTube- To blow off steam.

Thank you so much for reading this far, let me know what you think, re read it if you need to. And thank you, again.

Love Randy