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Moving onwards and upwards?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm not entirely sure what I'm actually wanting to ask so this will probably end up as an incoherent rant more than anything.

I think things feel a bit brighter than the last few times I posted. I'm back at work; reduced hours and a phased return, but I'm back at work. I can bear to speak to my ex without wanting to kill her and I can think about her without wanting to kill myself. But things are moving so slowly and it's driving me mad.

I've been massively over-eating and (not as massively) drinking too much. This has made me put on at least a stone, if not slightly more, which is extremely depressing. Training for the marathon I'm supposed to be running in a little over three months has ground to a halt since September, which means I'll be starting from near-enough scratch. I expect I'm going to massively let everyone down, though this is not the biggest surprise in the world. But now I feel like an enormous beached whale, not helped with Christmas, and that just makes me want to eat more cake. The clothes I bought after losing all that weight now don't fit me, which just reminds me even more.

I have done a bit of dating but it went suddenly quiet after sleeping together a few times. I don't think this is personal, but it has thrown me a bit. Part of me is wondering what I did wrong, although in reality I'm not too bothered, I just feel that I must have done something wrong. Everyone should love me, even if I don't love everybody.

I think I'm getting frustrated because I know what all the answers are. I've been advising and talking to someone in a similar situation and I know exactly what to say to them. The trouble, as always, is applying it to my own situation and believing in it. I know it will take time and patience, which I do not have loads of, but I'm struggling to see where new partners will come from. Out of the blue, no doubt, but I feel like a teenager trying to triple-guess whether someone likes me, whether someone likes me like that and whether I'm going to be completely humiliated if I stick my head over the wall.

Does anyone have any tips on how to speed things up a bit? I guess I just feel a bit lonely and want someone to think I'm brilliant and gorgeous and brilliant. I also know that cannot be forced but :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does anyone have any tips on how to speed things up a bit? I guess I just feel a bit lonely and want someone to think I'm brilliant and gorgeous and brilliant. I also know that cannot be forced but :(

    I do. And so does my bird (who has very good taste in gorgeous, brilliant people) - and we're making you some presents. But that's meant to be a surprise, so ssshhh. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello, as a fellow marathon runner (gulp) I wanted to say I am struggling with the training a bit to after beong knocked out with illness for a month a few weeks back so am not much further into the training plan. Remember it is ok to walk more than you run or jog! Just finishing is a great achievement and more than most people have done!
    Also, training for a marathon requires a bigger diet (ok, so the type of food you eat is also important) but if you start your training that should shift some unwanted weight :)

    Hugs and good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just from me and Emma too Arctic - we're all in the marathon together, we will all be holding each other up marathon day so don't feel like you'll be letting anyone down - more likely we are going to need you to help shift our arses too! :)

    On a personal note I've always thought you're brilliant.

    For moving on just take it at your own pace, it sounds like your first forays are going well and it doesn't matter if they stop and start a little - you are allowed to have fun dating and enjoy it for what it is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well,
    I find you gorgeous and brilliant :)
    if it helps and even if not,
    kitty hugs you!! ^_^
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Always had immense respect for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Always had immense respect for you.

    ditto. you're top notch and I really hope 2013 is better for you because you deserve it :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've always been a good lad.


    Sent from my whyayePad using Tapatalk
  • Emma_REmma_R Deactivated Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    Hi Arctic Roll (and all you fellow marathon runners)

    Hope you're doing well. I just thought I'd pick up on the concerns a couple of you expressed about training for the marathon.

    Just wondering if you're using the training plans in the magazine we were all sent? There are three for different levels of fitness - they all seem to start off in a not-too-terrifying way with easy 30 minute jogs and build up slowly over 13 weeks. They seem pretty straightforward to follow and cut out having to think about how and when to train. And, if you start on 7th Jan, you'll still have two weeks to 'taper down' before the actual marathon (that's according to my frantic calculations anyway ;) )

    So even if you've not done much over Christmas (and who has?) you've still got plenty of time to build up slowly...

    This is my first marathon - think we should all give ourselves a massive pat on the back for even contemplating running 26.2 miles!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Absolutely Emma, as far as I'm concerned we're in this together :)

    As for training plan I didn't realise we had one in the magazine, have been working off one I found online...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've not had a magazine? Might have to chase that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Arctic Roll,

    It all definitely sounds like moving upward, well done on being back at work and running the marathon! As others have said, you are all in this together, and even though it can be daunting it will be a fun yet challenging but such an achievement!

    In terms of dating, where have you usually met people you date? You said in another thread you have 2 dates coming up, that's great and good luck!
    It's understandable to wonder sometimes where you will meet you next serious partner - and it can be hard, as you say dating can sometimes makes us feel like teenagers! But that part can also be new and exciting. Have you tried speed dating or internet? If you struggled to meet people at work, in bars or through friends, then this could help.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on! :yes:
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