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Should I leave him? :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi guys,
I need some advice really... I honestly don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend a year on the 23rd, and it used to be amazing. But gradually we've started to hang out less, and argue more. And we both want completely different things in life... I want to move back to the midlands, go to college, have a family etc. etc. but he doesn't.
We split up for a few days in November, and I was really devastated. But since we've been back together we just argue, and I've been thinking more and more about leaving him. And I keep having dreams at night where I'm with someone else and stuff like that.

And over the past few weeks I've been growing closer and closer to a friend of mine, who I had a massive crush on in years 8 and 9 (but then he left school). We kissed last night, and I honestly thought I'd feel guilty but I don't. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend because I do love him... but I just don't think I'm in love with him any more.

I called my boyfriend last night to tell him I needed a break, and he was fine with it... didn't even put up a fight or question me or anything. I cried for a while, and I'm crying now writing this. But I'm not really sure why I'm crying. I think mostly I'm annoyed with myself for letting my relationship carry on so long, it really should have been over 6 months ago. But I'm scared to leave him. What if I am in love with him, and then he never takes me back? I really don't know what to do. This hurts so much.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think a break is definately what you need to think about it.

    In my opinion, its all very well saying 'what if i leave him and he doesnt take me back one day' but think, will you ever want him back?
    We all have moments where we miss our exes and wish we still had them. I do it all the time, but then i just remember why we broke up in the first place. You're clearly unhappy with him and IMHO, anything that makes you feel unhappy/miserable/stressed out is not worth it. Do whatever makes you happy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think its time for you to move on x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you've got relatively little commitment to someone - my reckoning is that if you're seriously asking the question 'Should I leave him' then the answer is highly likely to be yes.

    If you've got houses, marriages, kids, mortgages and many many years tied up in things then it's a trickier question.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always tend to find, that you always think you'll never love someone again...
    Until you meet someone new (which always happens) and then you tend to fall in love (Y)

    If you've got to the point where you argue a lot, you're not committed and you're considering leaving him. And considering you cheated on him last night...

    I think it's definitely time for a change. Remember if you do, you've still got all the support from us here :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys. I'm going to leave him I just don't know how to do it really... I don't want to hurt him because he's been so good to me, but I can't carry on with a lie :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've split up with him. Crying my eyes out. Is that normal even though I didn't want to be with him? So confused.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's always hard getting used to a break up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got pins and needles all over my body and I can't stop crying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You did the right thing, It'll take some time to adjust but it's going to be okay *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Love you Megan<3
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hugs xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Suzy :) I feel calmer now. I keep seeing loads of his stuff/stuff he bought be round my room though. *sigh*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think dumping someone can be just as painful as being dumped. You still deal with the end of a relationship that was at one time exactly what you wanted. You deal with guilt. It can be just as heartbreaking. You still deal with change.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    I think dumping someone can be just as painful as being dumped. You still deal with the end of a relationship that was at one time exactly what you wanted. You deal with guilt. It can be just as heartbreaking. You still deal with change.

    :yes:

    It's always tough to deal with break ups and can take time to get over, whether you ended it or not. It takes a lot of guts to admit to being unhappy and having the courage to end it. The loss of that relationship is real, but remembering why it ended, can sometimes help the process *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It would have been our one year anniversary today. Not quite sure how to feel. I found an excuse to text him earlier... I guess I just wanted him to remember. But I don't think he'll reply.
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