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I was sectioned again....but now i'm out again!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi guys,
been a while, but i wanted to let you know i've been in hospital for about 6 weeks, first voluntary then on a section 5 (2), then a section 2, then voluntary again.
i won't say what i did to land myself in that position, but i can say that it was scary to have my psychiatrist, an AMHP and another psychiatrist come round to my house one evening and insist i go into hospital or i would be sectioned. (awkward!)
i had to be on max observations at one point because i kept trying to strangle myself with my belt and scarf, so for one week i had somebody within arms reach of me 24/7, even when going to the toilet and getting a shower! (embarressing!).
anyway, i've tried to be a good girl and say all the right things to get out of that place. (there were 2 occassions where 2 different patients shouted and argued with me- very threatening- worst palpitations of my life!).
i know i have quite bad depression and anxiety and need to change meds for that i think cause the sertraline i'm on is losing affect. also on antipsychotics for psychosis, i really had to keep quiet about the thoughts i've had and still have that are the 'illness'... i've learnt that i've got to be really really careful with what i do (for example, don't carry a knife around to protect oneself from agents...) and careful with what i say (yes i do have suicidal thoughts but i'm not going to act on them...)
Anyway, just thought i'd explain where i've been, even if you don't know me on here!
comments welcome! peace!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welcome back Nutter! :wave:
  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    I'm glad you reached out for support Nutter, and I hope you are still reviving it, sounds like you went through quiet a bit during your weeks as a inpatient, did you find it helped at all? *hug*'s

    Were here for you, keep us updated on how you are doing :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so glad to hear you are safe, darling *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,
    I hope you are okay :)
    I got out of hospital myself after 5 weeks away just a couple of weeks ago, I relate to what you said. I was on the arms length obs as well and is pretty weird having to poo infront of someone and shower in front of someone watching you, isn't it? Also sometimes you just want to fart or pick your nose or whatever!
    I changed antipsychotics in hospital and feel a lot better mentally on the new ones. Do you feel better now? How do you feel about Christmas?
    *hugs* welcome back
    Rg x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    Hello,
    I hope you are okay :)
    I got out of hospital myself after 5 weeks away just a couple of weeks ago, I relate to what you said. I was on the arms length obs as well and is pretty weird having to poo infront of someone and shower in front of someone watching you, isn't it? Also sometimes you just want to fart or pick your nose or whatever!
    I changed antipsychotics in hospital and feel a lot better mentally on the new ones. Do you feel better now? How do you feel about Christmas?
    *hugs* welcome back
    Rg x

    haha, yeah sometimes you do just want to pick your nose and stuff! lol. well i'm glad to be at home, as i'd rather be here than on the ward! it's not nice when other patients have a go at you for no reason.... >.<
    to be honest, i feel the same as before i went in, only slightly worse for wear having to go through weeks of being disturbed by nurses and being in a routine that didn't suit me (such as getting up at 7:45am when i usually get up much later, as i don't have a job or anything...). i'm having to keep my thoughts to myself, even though people want me to open up and talk, i just know i'll probably end up in hospital again so i'm staying quiet! turns out i can't even trust my family. oh well.
    how are you feeling RG since being out of hospital? you say you changed antipsychotics, may i ask, what are you taking now? I'm on quetiapine as it's the only one that doesn't give me side effects.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Nutter
    Welcome back to the boards and well done for being so open with us about what's been going on.
    Nutter wrote: »
    i'm having to keep my thoughts to myself, even though people want me to open up and talk, i just know i'll probably end up in hospital again so i'm staying quiet! turns out i can't even trust my family. oh well.

    Obviously I don't know what went on, but you're going through a difficult time emotionally, so talking to people is really important if you can. Apologies if I've misread your post, but it sounds like your family might have broken your trust by getting you sectioned. If that's right, you must feel very hurt by that, but is there a chance that they did it out of love? Sometimes family feel helpless and do what they think is right even if you don't agree that it is! Have you chatted to them since you came out of hospital at all?

    Whatever you decide to do with talking to your family though, keep posting here - that's what the boards are for :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nutter wrote: »
    how are you feeling RG since being out of hospital? you say you changed antipsychotics, may i ask, what are you taking now? I'm on quetiapine as it's the only one that doesn't give me side effects.

    I'm feeling pretty good. Not hearing things or seeing things that aren't there anymore. I'm having a physical health problem though so in a lot of pain. I am on aripiprizole (Abilify) now 15mg. I was on risperidone. Since changing meds I've stopped lactating and also I haven't put on anymore weight (as I've gained a lot on risperidone and also olanzapine). I'm enjoying being in my flat and having my friends over. I can't get out though cos of the physical problems but I'm having an ultrasound scan after Christmas. I've bought new candles for my flat and a load of merino yarn to make a throw for my sofa and a real Christmas tree and loads of decoration. I've been knitting a lot for the local homeless shelter since I got home (wasn't allowed to knit in hospital obviously).

    I hope you start to feel better soon. What are you doing for Christmas?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spanner- It wasn't my parents that sectioned me, they wanted me at home all the time. There was one instance of a family member betraying me when i told her something that i asked her not to tell anyone else, but she ended up telling my parents... we decided as a family not to tell the nurses or psychiatrist because i probably would have been in hospital longer and had my bed space searched again! It has been a very tough time, I cried so much at hospital, more than i have my entire life... but maybe it's what i needed... however i'm still feeling really crap and tormented by thoughts, but nevermind!
    RG- I'm just at home for christmas, not doing anything special, probably just have family over. And oh.... i tried aripiprazole...it was AWFUL for me, it made me so agitated and angry, I kept punching things... one of the worst meds i've ever been on, and risperidone didn't suit me either, it made me feel really dysphoric and agitated but also really uncomfortably sleepy about an hour after taking a pill.
    SIGH i think i'm just so anti-psychiatry now, i don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone for various reasons about what goes on in my head. MEH, such is life. Time for cider... ttfn
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Nutter, thanks for the clarification and sorry for jumping to conclusions. I guess it could also go for that family member that they betrayed your confidence out of concern for you?
    I hope you manage to find a way to connect with your family and that you start to get the support you need soon.
    *hug*
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