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Issues with therapy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've had 5 sessions with a new therapist - who is meant to be an art therapist but we haven't done any art yet! I had my review appointment yesterday and she suggested that she didn't feel that the therapy was really helping me. She said she felt I was in the gap between learning how to deal with my emotions and just getting on with being an adult. But I thought that the point of therapy was to help me learn new skills to deal better with my emotions? She has asked me to think about how I feel about the therapy and continuing with it and come back to her next week. Every appointment that I have gone to I have left feeling very upset and most the time crying after the appointment - i find her manner very challenging in a negative way.
I want to continue having some kind of therapy but I'm not too sure how good the relationship with this therapist is. She frequently brings up my physical health issues and how she feels that it is impacting on me getting any benefit from therapy. I feel that she has been bringing up all the different reasons behind why I shouldn't be having therapy with her since I have started these sessions. I'm not sure if I can or should continue having therapy with her?
I really don't know what to say to her in this next appointment. I want to keep having therapy, but not with her! How can I word this in the best way to make this more likely and not make it out that she's a crap therapist?
I want to continue having some kind of therapy but I'm not too sure how good the relationship with this therapist is. She frequently brings up my physical health issues and how she feels that it is impacting on me getting any benefit from therapy. I feel that she has been bringing up all the different reasons behind why I shouldn't be having therapy with her since I have started these sessions. I'm not sure if I can or should continue having therapy with her?
I really don't know what to say to her in this next appointment. I want to keep having therapy, but not with her! How can I word this in the best way to make this more likely and not make it out that she's a crap therapist?
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One of the most important things about any talking treatment is the relationship with your therapist or counsellor. It's really key that you feel able to raise the feelings you've written here with her and talk them through. She should be open to this and also to the idea that you may just not be well suited to work together.
What's really positive is that you're still really keen to stick with the therapy, have you been able to tell her how upset you've felt inbetween appointments?
It can take some people three or four goes to find the right therapist and that's not to put you off but to reassure you! If you find that you're more preoccupied with worries about the therapist and your relationship then it's going to take away from what you could potentially be getting out of the sessions.
It might help to think about the key things you'd like to say to her, write them down and take them along with you or look at them before you go in to your next appointment?
I wonder if you did anything at the start of your sessions about your expectations or goals from therapy and if she was able to describe what an average session would look like and how it could help you over time? Having a clear foundation from the start can help to put you both on the same page. Perhaps you could work on some goals together to move forward?
We did try to set a goal but I found it really hard. I didn't even get what kind of goal she meant and I did eventually say i just wante to regain some headspace so that i could stop over analysing everything, panic less and learn coping strategies to deal with my flashbacks and etc. But she didn't feel that was defined enough and keeps referring back to that point when talking about continuing therapy.
You know when you said about not getting what kind of goal she meant, well I was the same and asked what she meant. I remember my counselor telling me that it could be anything. Anything I wanted to work towards, for example career, family, or just feeling happy. I said I didn't want to have these thoughts anymore. So that was my goal, and I don't have the really negative ones anymore, sure I get down days, but not as bad.
I think your goal can be a simple thing, whatever you feel you want or need.
Hope you find a great therapist soon. xx
So we've decided we're working on this first and having frequent reviews. I can have up to 24 sessions (unless she can prove to her managers that I need more) so we'll see how I go.