If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Bit of advice please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello guys just wanted a bit of advice please because of my stupid behaviour i dont want people to think im easy
i went away to malia a few weeks ago with my sister and my mates 4 of us i left my boyfriend at home in the uk to work etc on the second night me and my mate got talking to these guys who were in another hotel from our but they seemed really nice so when they offered us back we went to try and my mates. when we got back to there hotel they let us have there bed and one of them came and lay by me and we started talking one thing led to another we began kissing then he started to finger me my mate told him before hand that i had a boyfriend and when i woke in the morning his words were ' dont worry youll feel better later' now what the fuck did it mean by ill feel better. i know theres no excuse for how i acted but everyone makes mistakes right?
i went away to malia a few weeks ago with my sister and my mates 4 of us i left my boyfriend at home in the uk to work etc on the second night me and my mate got talking to these guys who were in another hotel from our but they seemed really nice so when they offered us back we went to try and my mates. when we got back to there hotel they let us have there bed and one of them came and lay by me and we started talking one thing led to another we began kissing then he started to finger me my mate told him before hand that i had a boyfriend and when i woke in the morning his words were ' dont worry youll feel better later' now what the fuck did it mean by ill feel better. i know theres no excuse for how i acted but everyone makes mistakes right?
0
Comments
Seriously, (i'm gonna get a bit angry now), but seriously. I'm sick of reading posts like this all the time! What do you want people to say in reply to this. "There there, it's not your fault".
People make mistakes, yeah they do ALL the time. But you DIDN'T make a mistake. No means no, and if you had any respect (not even love) just respect - but clearly you have neither. You wouldn't of cheated on your boyfriend back at home... You could of told that bloke to piss off, but ya didn't, irrelevant to drugs/alcohol being used at the time (idk if they were or weren't). There's no excuse.
If i'm perfectly honest, when you or your friends met these people you knew exactly what was going to happen.
"A bit of advice please because of my stupid behaviour i dont want people to think im easy" So you don't want people to think you're a slut. Well i have news for you, if you don't want people to think you're a slut. DON'T ACT LIKE ONE.
You've got two options: Tell your boyfriend what happened, and suck up what happens. Or option two, don't tell your boyfriend and hope he never finds out.
I'd have a look at your priorities if i were you... The fact you cared more about whether people would think you're a slut, or what would happen to your relationship and/or the people it'd effect around you.
Firstly making that kind of comment is bang out of order, whilst I agree with much of the rest of everything you say, I say again.........the above quote is wrong!
Seriously, what is wrong with people enjoying company with the opposite sex without expecting anything.
I know it was bang out of order, and I've got nothing to support it. But like i said, that was me giving my complete honest opinion, and i still stand by that. Look there's nothing wrong with people spending time together, i get that it's chill. But "oh hey come back to our hotel"... why not suggest a bar, or something... It's just if someone invites you to there hotel, you know what to expect!
I don't even get how you made that leap, it's got nothing to do with it, it's got nothing to do with fault. I merely just said, that what did she expect by going back to someones place and staying?
I trust my girlfriend fully, no issues. I've no insecurities what so ever. But if i got a text saying "i've met these lads down town, they've invited me to stay with them at their hotel, see you tomorrow." I'd start having some issues at that point, because trust can only go so far if you put yourself in a situation like that.
Also in response to your "Is the girls fault". Yes and i dedicated a thread to 'why'
http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php/152788-Is-it-the-girls-fault-for-wearing-a-short-skirt?p=2443147#post2443147
I thought i'd make something else clear to, through text online. It's very hard to get across tone (I'm not a writer clearly), so i'd like to point out that, if my posts come out as shouty or aggrivated or angry. That they're not, and i'm just having a chat lol
I'm not quite sure what you're asking? Do you want us to say "Yea it's fine to do that!" Because we wont, because it isn't fine. You haven't said how long you've been with your boyfriend, but even if it's just a few weeks you still broke the trust.
If you have any respect for him at all you need to be honest. Yes, he might leave you and that'll be difficult, but at least you will have done the right thing. I mean, how would you feel if he cheated on you, and then didn't tell you for weeks?
The truth always comes out in the end, and I'd recommend you just tell him before he finds out some other way. I mean, what if you fall out with a friend and they tell him? Or it just slips out in a chat?
I know you're probably thinking you can just hide it from him... but I really wouldn't even try. It never normally works, and this guy needs the truth so he can decide what to do. There shouldn't be lies in a relationship.
While i admire Shikari's blatant honesty, the tone of that post is not helpful and could be seen as too confrontational, especially for someone who is clearly worried and just looking for advice.