Loose cannon parents? religion issues?

Former Member · September 2012

I live in a nearsighted christian home, as a Wiccan i find it rough to cope with women such as my mother, who does not even know what the basis of the religion is. Now, i'm a modem for peace; i meditate often and don't speak to the family very much.
Anyone else experience this?
also, i have experience with my mother, (my father is not in the picture) she is an explosive, angry woman. now, i am also very hateful. I believe her issues have rubbed off on me. she slaps me around occasionally and threatens to give me over to the state. I've noticed that i get into fights often, and injure most anyone who crosses me. I had been "cut-clean" for six months, until today.

I was setting up and account for the SAT website, filling out my college preferences. she got involved when i didnt' need her, and told me i had done the whole thing wrong. (it 's all questions about personal preferences) how could i have done it wrong? i asked and she got mad, dragged me home and locked me in my room, after slapping me on the back about 35 times. I have not been scuicidal for a while and today , i thought about downing some tylenol or something. i got a phone call from my boyfriend, that's what stopped me.

Reena · September 2012

A lot of youngsters have trouble communicating to their parents, sometimes its still hard even when you get older. And its even more difficult if you have a violent parent.
May I ask if your mother just gets angry, or is it the symptom of a condition or addiction?

It must be difficult to be around her. Do you ever have a calm talk with her? If you have, then at least there is some hope for your relationship.

It must be frustrating fighting your emotions while trying to deal with everyone around you too. But if you feel angry and hateful- which you have every right to feel, have you thought about anger management? They can tell you about options and techniques to help control aggressive thoughts.
Its good your meditating, that can help calm you down too. It concentrates on your breathing, right? I would use a breathing technique to calm myself. It really worked. But it wasn't just for anger, when I was upset or sad, nervous or worried it seemed to help me. And as you meditate already I think it would be something useful. What do you think?

Just remember, if you feel like that again there is always someone willing to help. Don't let how your mother acts towards you make you feel less worthy of life. She obviously has issues of her own, and is taking them out on you. Be strong, one day things will be better. xx

Former Member · September 2012

Were not fuly sure if it's a condition from her AVM, (massive brain bleed) or if it's just her, because she was like this before the AVM just not as bad. As for talking calmy, i try to, but every conversation ends up being a lecture or an argument, and she's always right, even when she's wrong. I've tried anger management, they just wanted to medicate me, which personally, i dont want to be medicated with a drug of that caliber and end up addicted. (the drug, i think was along the lines of an anti-depressent painkiller, they narrowed my anger down to a mix of depression and stress) percostes, ot adderal i cant recall which? The "breathing technique i use is meditation, but it dosent always work when your shuddering and crying. thank you

Reena · September 2012

You know I never wanted to be on medication for depression, but I did try it once. The counselor helped more than the drugs and I wasn't addicted to them and came off without any problems. And there are many kinds of mild drugs available. Try not to rule them out completely, k hun.

If talking doesn't work have you thought about trying a letter? When speaking sometimes your tongue gets in the way, or you forget what you want to say, and it can be harder facing someone while saying it. In a letter you can get down what you want, think through what you want to say, and if you're not happy with it, you can throw it away and write another. It may prevent an argument.

Don't give up on the meditating just yet, and keep looking for other techniques that suit you. xx

Former Member · September 2012

I know how you're feeling, my mother is exactly the same, my spineless father may as well not be there (apparently after divorce my life is out of his jurisdiction.)
The things that I find help are just keep calm, always take the higher ground. Try not to argue back or aggravate the situation. It may seem like you're backing down when you know you're right, but you're not going achieve anything by ending up with a sore head from getting whacked with the back of her hand. Also, think of how many years you've lived with it, and how little time there is until you can move to college. Another comforting thought for me is thinking about how when I'm older I will be a better mother than she ever was for me. Learn from your mother's mistakes, identify them and make yourself a better person for them.

Former Member · October 2012

Hi xXAislynnXx,

It must be really hard to have to deal with how your mother explodes on you at times. Reena was right to ask if you have ever spoken to her calmly about how this is affecting you? Writing a letter could be a very good idea as we often forget what was said and what we actually wanted to say.

Also seems like she is occasionally violent towards you, is this something that has been going on for a while? Have you spoken to any other family members or friends about this?
You mention living in a christian home, is there someone in that faith that you can talk to?

Talking to someone can help, whether its someone you know or calling a helpline such as Samaritans, which can help at these particular moments to help you feel safer and calmer.

Anger can also be very hard to control, have a look at our article "Dealing with anger" that could help.

Let us know how you get on *hug*

Loose cannon parents? religion issues?

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