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I think I may have depression, but i feel angry at myself :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I think i may have depression and took the step of telling my mother, she was very supportive, but as i was explaining my feeling to her I became increasingly more and more angry at myself for feeling like this! I have nothing wrong in my life so why do I have depression? I feel like the worlds most selfish, ungrateful person! How do i cope and deal with these feelings?

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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Hello Beth, welcome to TheSite.org boards, and well-done on reaching out for support both here, and towards your mother, sometimes people are depressed for no reason and it is difficult, how would you feel about talking to your Dr about it? They will be able to offer you more support, would you consider that?

    I thought you might find this article, understanding depression a bit helpful, how would you feel about checking it out? http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/depression/understandingdepression

    Look after yourself Beth, take care :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Beth,

    Welcome to the boards! I know depression and other mental health problems can cause havoc in your life and I would firstly like to start by saying well done and you are brave for opening up to it.

    I personally have ADHD which is very stigmatised with the idea that we are naughty, disruptive and somewhat immature. However always having suffered with the problem my last college noticed something was wrong but always haven been given the titles, "different" and "naughty" I just shuddered past it and carried on. However this year I ended up crying and told my mum I had a problem and needed help. After extensive research we learnt a lot more and I was finally diagnosed which has made me feel a lot calmer!

    Also my neighbour suffers from depression and she is the most beautiful, kind, glamarous women you'd ever meet; her kids are happy; her husbands handsome and she is beautiful!!! So when I found that out I was extremely shocked but the same day I read an interview with Frankie from the Saturdays about her having depression and I really think it would help so http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/celebrity/entertainment/monitor/2012/05/frankie-sandford-glamour-cover-girl-interview that's the hyperlink for it :D

    Sorry for just general rant but really hope I helped :D good luck with your future and I wish you all the best, remember how important and special you are for making the first move. That's one of the hardest parts and you'll start getting the support and help to making this a little easier on yourself :D xx
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    And don't forget that getting angry is also a part of the condition. Try not to blame yourself, sometimes it just takes over for no reason. But keep asking for help. My rock is my mother, without her the bad days would be unbearable. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    depression doesn't always mean that you will be angry at yourself.i have depression and sometimes ill get angry at one of my family most of the time that will be my dad or my sister or her boyfriend because he lives with us:( .i guess i be angry with my father because most of the attention he give to his work and i feel like he doesn't want to listen to me when i have some problems.and i used to be jelouse to my cousin.when she was younger most of the days she'll come to our house to play together and my dad he'll talk to her,laugh with her,and at that time i believed that he prefered her as his daughter insted of me.even 5 years ago she had a baby and when he was growing up he'll play with him and he will give him the attention that he never gave to me when i was a baby.sometimes i get angry with myself and i still do.:(
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    pink girl wrote: »
    depression doesn't always mean that you will be angry at yourself.i have depression and sometimes ill get angry at one of my family most of the time that will be my dad or my sister or her boyfriend because he lives with us:( .i guess i be angry with my father because most of the attention he give to his work and i feel like he doesn't want to listen to me when i have some problems.and i used to be jelouse to my cousin.when she was younger most of the days she'll come to our house to play together and my dad he'll talk to her,laugh with her,and at that time i believed that he prefered her as his daughter insted of me.even 5 years ago she had a baby and when he was growing up he'll play with him and he will give him the attention that he never gave to me when i was a baby.sometimes i get angry with myself and i still do.:(

    I felt that way about my dad. Until I saw the old pictures from when I was baby. My dad was playing me and my siblings, but the older we got the harder it seemed to be for him to give us attention. For me I still find it hard to connect with my dad, I think its because he doesn't understand me, but I understand him a bit better now so our communication is better.
    You shouldn't feel bad about getting angry its proof your human and not a robot. ;) xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes reena, i guess that's true everyone get angry sometimes.i used to wish that it's better if i did't get born into this family.i sort of felt guilty that they have a daughter that tried to end her life and don't have a job.sometimes i still think that they despise me for what i've done because we never had someone like me in the family.
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    You shouldn't feel guilty. We are all unique in our own ways, even if we feel like we don't fit in, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
    When I was really young I remember around some family members feeling awkward, and that they didn't like me, thought I was strange. But now if they say anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't get mad or sad, I just smile on the surface while on the inside I'm thinking, "Shut up! what do you know? I'm not talking to you anymore. That's your opinion I don't have to accept it." Then I make a quick exit. He He
    So even if they despise you, which they probably don't, they just don't get you. And don't worry about getting a job your only 18, and it took me a while to get one, so don't panic. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes your right i try to keep that in mind. well i don't have any money and my parents don't have much.when i finished seconday school my parents, mostly my mum were stressing me out to find a job and my sister work in a restaurant and told me if i wanted to work there as a dishwasher. i really didn't want to but my mum kept telling me to go so to shut my mum's mouth i told my sister that i would go.at first it was sundays only.after a few weeks they told that if i want to keep working there i had to work everyday so i accepted. after a few months i really started to get depressed i didn't really like the job anymore.somtimes i was working day and night and because that there was not enough people working there when someone from work or my sister wanted a day off i had to work day and night. i used to fight almost every week with my sister because if she take a day off i had to work and if i told her that i don't want to work her shift she gets angry.in the end i left from work.i really hate to work in a restaurants even tough i ended up in another restaurant.but this week i taught that i do something different and told my boss that i'm not going anymore. now im trying to work with animals but i think its bad luck too :crying: :(
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    No one has the right to tell you where to work. If you don't like your job you are going to feel worse.
    I was working in a job I hated when I was 17/ 18, I hit my hand as hard as I could with a piece of heavy metal just to get out of going in. It was really swollen and I still had to work. Pick a job you know you'll be happy in. xx :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes i kind of did something too i was chopping something i can't remember and i cut my hand but had to stay because it wasn't something to big. that's what i like to find a job that i'll be happy doing it. i'm glad that i found someone like you that understands me and someone i can talk to.:)
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    Talk to me anytime. I promised myself to log in at least once a day. xx
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