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Please Help Me :'(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 18 and I have lived with my older sister for the last 3 years. Recently, my sister quit her job and we had to move in with my mom and brother, but both are depressed and I'm scared. This isn't my home, I've been here for days and I feel lost, claustrophobic, anxious, petrified...
We are only meant to be staying a few months, just till we find somewhere.. but I have a feeling my sister will move on without me. I'm incapable of living on my own due to anxiety and minor depression.

I feel so angry and scared. I don't want to live..
I beat depression and self harm years ago. I went into education but got fucked about so after 5 years I have no qualifications. Every adult worries about money, work, family, food, gas, electric.
I don't want that, I don't want a whole human life full of worry, stress, getting beaten down, brushing it off and trying again. I just want to end it all now, appreciate what I've had and just die. I thought about killing myself after my parents passed away so they wouldn't witness it and so my siblings find it easier. But I can't hold for another 10 years. I'm scared of dying, I'm absolutely petrified on what's the other side. But I'm scared of what might happen and what I become if I stay here.
I'm scared and my whole life is undoing at the seems, please.. I'm begging you.. someone help me?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please? I need someone to talk to and I don't want to worry my family yet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug* Are you receiving any kind of therapy/taking medication for your anxiety and depression at the moment?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi NeverEndingFall :wave:

    Sorry to hear that you are not coping with the circumstances of having to move into your mum's house *hug* You have come to the right place to be listened to and to get everything out. Is there anywhere else you can stay like friends/other relatives house?

    Like Flibbertygibbert asked are you receiving any support with your anxiety/depression? This site has good advice and info on anxiety and depression, here is a link for you to have a look at http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/anxietyandstress/anxietygettinghelp I hope this helps.

    I noticed you said you have beaten depression and self-harm years ago which with encouragment that you can beat this again with help and support, you will get through this! You have made the first step by having the guts to come on here and asking for help :heart:

    You said you went back into Education but did not go well, have you considered about Education again or something alternative?

    Let us know how you are getting on with things and don't hestitate to shout for help on here that's what we are here for :thumb:

    purple_rain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Flibbertygibbert.. my past experiences with therapy and medication is not good. A daily routine of tablets is something i struggled with due to not remembering to take them and my stomach rejects them. I end up throwing up with meds and I know with therapy you feel worse before you feel better but talking about it all AGAIN would only devastate me.

    Purple_Rain..
    Thank you for your kind words, it's nice to know someone else believes in me too. Unfortunately I have no friends or other family members, I'm stuck where i am.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What makes you feel your sister will move on without you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you tried a different form of therapy? CBT, Mentalisation/mindfulness-based? They can help you to control the intrusive thoughts but don't rule out the option of other talking therapies later when you feel strong enough.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for your brief support guys, it helped me get through today but I'm afraid I can't hold on anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can. If we did. You can.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    You can. If we did. You can.

    This.

    One thing I love about having been here so long is seeing people go through hell and survive. I've seen people come from all sorts of personal hells, and if we can do it then I believe anyone can.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Moving on
    I'm 18 and I have lived with my older sister for the last 3 years. Recently, my sister quit her job and we had to move in with my mom and brother, but both are depressed and I'm scared. This isn't my home, I've been here for days and I feel lost, claustrophobic, anxious, petrified...
    We are only meant to be staying a few months, just till we find somewhere.. but I have a feeling my sister will move on without me. I'm incapable of living on my own due to anxiety and minor depression.

    NeverEndingFall, like you, at an early age I suffered years of depression with some minor self harm. I'm not big on changes myself, the uncertainty of what lies ahead scares me, and restarted my depression after 4 or 5 years of being fine. But I'm doing OK now. I didn't want to be like that again and asked for help. I went to my GP and college counselor, where I under gone "cognitive behavioural therapy" it really helped me, it might do the same for you.
    Its not wrong to be scared, life is full of obstacles, they test us, they drive us up the wall but you can over come them. Your sister for example, if she moves on without you, does that mean she won't be there for you? Does that mean you can't see her ever again? Never phone or text her?
    My older sister moved out of the family home but she might as well still be living here, we see her everyday. I'm sure your sister will still support you in every way possible. Hope I've helped big hug Reena. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi neverendingfall i know and understand how you feel at least about the depression and the self harm.my doctor send me to someone and i didn't have money to pay because i don't have a job and i still felt depressed sometimes too. i have been 1 year and 6 months clean from the cutting but it was really hard when i was sad and depressed.now im thinking to start cutting again because i can't take it any longer i'm really fed up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi. This is just a phase in your life and I'm sure that's only temporary. Just don't let it affect your own job.

    Focus on your job would be my best advice for you to be stable enough to afford your own place.

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