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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey Everyone

I have recently told one of my closest friends about my mental health, this wasnt the best idea cause now she has changed and doesnt know what to say or how to act around me.

Im just wondering if anyone could share tips on how I can like make this better, cause she is one of my closest friends,

I know its not her fault, she doesnt understand much about mental health, and I guess for somebody who doesnt understand much about this kinda stuff, then it's hard for them to deal with it when a close friends tell them about it. I really don't want this to ruin our friendship, I hope it doesn't and I just want to make things right between us again.. I've known her since college so about 5years or so. I don't really open up to many people about my mental health.. Its kind of hard.

Anyways I'll shush now, but if you guys could post some tips or advice on your experiences with talking to others about mental health, this could help me:)


Claire(in chat)


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Claire :wave:

    I think telling someone that your close to about your mental health was a massive step and a very brave thing to do...you should be proud!

    Is it possible you could approach your friend again, explain that you understand it must be awkward for her and allow her to ask any questions she may have? For instance; I told a close friend I was feeling suicidal and she didn't know how to respond; therefore, she began to ignore me. I sat down with her, told her I understood how uncomfortable she must have felt and was open to answering any questions she may have had. It turns out, she felt out of her depth because she didn't know how best to support me or what help I needed.

    I explained what drove me to feel like that and told her how I thought she could best support me - in this case, to continue treating me the same way she always had and that sometimes just knowing I could pick up the phone and talk to someone was all I needed so I didn't feel quite so isolated. She made me promise I would call her if I felt suicidal and that she wanted me to tell her what I needed (if anything) and that whatever it was she would do it. Then she thanked me for being so honest and for reassuring her. She also apologised for being distant but I completely understood her view of not knowing what was best in the situation.

    I understand your view point when you say you don't want it to ruin your friendship but I honestly don't believe it will...sometimes it can just be a little unnerving for someone who doesn't have much experience of mental health as they don't necessarily know how to support you.

    Let us know how you get on!

    WL x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi WL.

    Firstly thankyou so much for your comment.. Means alot.

    I am going to talk too my friend again but not yet I don't think.. Going to give her some time to cool off.

    It sounds like on the whole you have had a positive experience in this WL. I am glad. Yeah in the past ive told another close friend who understood cause she has been through things like this.

    I think mental health isnt really spoken about, I suppose people don't know how others will react..

    Thanks so much for your reply WL :)

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good idea :-) Sometimes giving people a bit of time to process what you've told them means that emotions aren't running quite so high and also your friend may have done a little bit of research on the Internet for some advice on how to support you. Also, have you looked at the article on theSite about confiding in someone? I can't post the link as I'm on my iPod but if you can't find it, let me know and I'll send it to you :)

    I agree...mental health seems to be such a taboo subject. It's disappointing and I hope that perceptions/opinions begin to change sooner rather than later!

    WL x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks.. Yeah I have seen that article.. Its good :)

    I think people don't understand much around mental health if they don't know anybody or have suffered from it.. Because its not talked about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if she is one of your closest friends then she might be struggling to get her head around it, especially if she had no idea at all before. it might not mean that you can't be friends anymore. it is hard for people to know how to react when someone they care for tells them that they have a mental illness, just like it's hard when the illness is physical. you could have a look online at some of the mental health charities and choose some pages to show her that might help explain the situation a bit more clearly. you can't know how anyone will react to anything you tell them but you can go into it armed with some myth-busting responses - she is probably worried about you so when you both feel able to, it might be worth discussing your particular problems and how they effect you, and you could explain that it's not the same as some of the misjudged information she might have picked up from the media (e.g. that you are not about to kill yourself or that you are not dangerous). give her some time and she will probably want to understand. and if she doesn't then it's just as well that you know now that she isn't a very good friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice omghi and WL.

    Good suggestions there from both of you.. I will take them both on board and I think everything is going to be okay :)

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you should talk to her. mainly about this. and explain her your situation. and get a decision from her that if she can accept your mental health as it is
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