feeling down during pregnancy

Former Member · August 2012

I keep putting off making this post because I feel like it will jinx me and something horrible might happen because I should be grateful and happy.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and for the last few weeks have been feeling more and more down about almost everything. I feel like these are the warning signs but am unsure what to do and whether I have the energy to even admit I may be depressed again. And more importantly I dont want any negativity I'm feeling to have some sort of negative effect on my baby. Everyone says stress is bad which is annoying because the first trimester has been one of the most stressful periods of my life.

I cry and feel anxious about going into the supermarket I work at one day a week ever since the supervisor dealt with me harshly when I needed to go to A and E because of a miscarriage scare. I equate it with a negative place where I know that if anything like that happens again, I won't be looked after or should I feel ill, no one will care.

I find out next Friday whether they are continuing my contract as it is the end of the 12 week trial and part of me wants them to be discriminatory and not continue it just so I never have to return there.

I know plenty of women work fulltime throughout pregnancy which makes me feel all the more pathetic. I should be more concerned with bringing in money for our baby and not my feelings and anxiety.

My nausea has subsided now but I still feel so tired all the time. My boyfriend suggests going for walks which I know is good but I feel strange about leaving the house because I feel ugly and fat. Which is a really shallow view because I shouldnt care about what I look like but I feel ashamed about how ugly I look.

Not really sure what I should be doing, my GP is hopeless and impossible to get an appointment with. My mum has enough on her plate. My partner is amazing but I feel incompetant in comparison to him who just seems to 'get on with it'.

Former Member · August 2012

I think it's normal to feel a bit sad. A lot of women do. There's all sorts of freaky hormones and whatnot.

Former Member · August 2012

Yeah it is difficult to tell whether it's the hormones or a warning sign that I could be starting to feel bad again.

I know that realistically on the job front I have to just get on with it and whatever happens on Friday happens.

Former Member · August 2012

I think you're doing everything possible, and I think both of you are going to be fantastic parents. I wouldn't worry yourself about what you've seen other women do during their pregnancy, it's not about them, or what they can do, it's about you. If you don't feel like you can do something, don't cause yourself needless stress by worrying about it, or by thinking that somehow it makes you a bad person, it doesn't! Remember that you're the only person who knows exactly how you feel, you are having a baby, and only you know how it feels to be you!

You're not useless or pathetic, and I'm sure that you boyfriend will support you regardless of what you do, or don't do. I think you're doing an amazing job so far. You said that you don't like your GP, or that they don't help you; could you ask to speak to another if that's possible?

Former Member · August 2012

It's a lot easier for your boyfriend to get on with it because he isn't pregnant. You're not incompetent! You're having a baby (obviously) which takes a lot of effort anyway, there's only so much you can do at once and even people who seem to breeze through pregnancy probably feel awful in secret sometimes.

Even if you feel too hideous to go for a walk, just sitting outside for a little bit each day will do you the world of good. Your cat might want to play with you, or just sit on your lap and purr and be sympathetic. Battlecat definitely won't judge you if you cry or tell her things you feel too stupid to tell your boyfriend.

If you can't get an appointment with your GP, could you mention how you feel to your midwife when you next see her? Even though there's only so much she can do about it, she might know how to improve the way your pregnancy is affecting you.

I hope the sadness stops soon

Former Member · August 2012

Thanks for the replies.

I'm seeing my midwife in two weeks so will probably speak to her then. I panic about everything during this pregnancy which doesn't help.

grace- so spooky. that's what I try to make myself do on a bad day and she does keep me company.

Former Member · August 2012

clementine_the_tangerine wrote: »

that's what I try to make myself do on a bad day and she does keep me company.

Remember that animals are very sensitive to human emotions, they're able to sense mood and other things about people that we humans can't, they know when you're happy or sad and can respond accordingly, so don't be surprised if she's being affectionate towards you, she'll know that you aren't quite yourself.

Former Member · August 2012

I would definitely tell your midwife how you feel. Mood swings and tearfulness are very normal, as is sometimes feeling overwhelmed and unsure, but anything less fleeting is not. Prenatal depression is very real, and they can refer you for treatment. They will probably also want to monitor you closely after the birth, cause you'll be high risk for postnatal depression, too.

It's not anything to do with you, or any kind of reflection on you as a person, or your mothering skills. It just happens sometimes, and you are higher risk if you have a history of mental health problems.

Former Member · August 2012

No real advice to offer, but *hug*. I'm sure you'll make a great mum as well. Wouldn't be saying that if I didn't think it was true xxx

Former Member · August 2012

Thankyou

I will mention it, my midwife knows that I have past history of mental health problems and she has it in my notes. I got a little nervy and paranoid and asked whether that meant automatically Social Services would be involved.

But that isn't the case at all.

I'm still feeling on edge despite my scan and being put forward a week. Roll on the 20 week scan. I get so scared of miscarrying. That doesn't help.

Thanks yellow

Former Member · August 2012

clementine_the_tangerine wrote: »

I got a little nervy and paranoid and asked whether that meant automatically Social Services would be involved. But that isn't the case at all.

Not in the slightest. I had PND after Superbaby was born, albeit fairly mildly, and there was never any suggestion that anyone other than my GP and health visitor would be involved, and all they wanted was to support me. Having a baby is TOUGH, and you should never be scared to take all the help you can. They would be more concerned if you didn't ask, and refused all help.

You will worry. That's what mothers do. The worry will never stop until the day you die, there'll just be new things to worry about. Just don't let it swamp you.

Former Member · August 2012

I'm just finding it difficult to accept this pregnancy is real. You're right the worry doesn't stop. Now the first trimester is over and most of the blugh symptoms I recently complained about have disappeared, now that I am starting to feel normal it's like a new reason to worry that something is wrong. All I have to show for it is a very bloated tummy in the evening and feeling tired.

I'm 15 weeks on Thursday so not too long until my next scan. I told myself after the 12 week scan I would allow myself to get excited and allow the 'real' feelings to kick in. But nope, it's now 20 weeks. :yeees: Why do I do this to myself

Former Member · August 2012

It's ok, take your time with it. There's no "should" about how to feel or when to feel it.

feeling down during pregnancy

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