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Depression in relationships.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I posted on another thread about the pill making me depression and i've finally been to see a phyciatrist about my moods, he diagnoised me with depression and im now having therepy to help me. Since i got depressed my relationship has took a turn for the worse, i feel asif my love/feelings for my boyfriend have vanished. He is a diamond and i know before all of this we were happy and i did love him but now its eating away at me because i dont know if i should finish with him because of this constant lack of feelings for him. I love spending time with him but i sometimes look at him and feel kind of empty? sometimes i want to kiss him sometimes i dont, sometimes i want to talk to him, sometimes i dont. When i think of life without him it scares me to death because i do want to be with him i just want to be happy? has anybody else ever experienced this. I'd hate to think this is my feelings for my boyfriend vanished and this is the end of us? Have i fallen out of love with him? :( somebody help?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Millieann, :wave:

    I am sorry that you are feeling quite confused at the moment. If you are going through a tough time at the moment it is only natural that you shall be questioning a lot of things, the best thing is just to be open and honest about everything you are feeling with your boyfriend because the chances are he will be picking up that you are feeling low and you might be able to work through it together.

    Please keep on posting to let us know how you are getting on.

    Take Care
    B:thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya :)

    I want to give you a massive hug, because I think I know how this feels....

    A couple of weeks ago I was considering posting on here and I think my post would have sounded very similar to yours. I'd look at my boyfriend and where as before I'd be filled with so many positive feelings - there would just be nothing. I found it so painful because it was such a contrast and it wasn't how I wanted to feel, or how I felt I should feel. And at the back of my mind there was "what if I have just fallen out of love with him?" which was really horrible, because nothing had changed, and I just couldn't figure out what had gone wrong, and why things had gone so downhill.

    In the end I just tried to be really honest with him and explained how I was feeling. In my case I felt low, but also just really numb. I think I should have talked to him sooner, I let it build up and build up, and I got more upset that I didn't feel the right way and was letting him down... but after we'd talked he said he understood and that it was all OK. This took the pressure off, as beforehand I was trying to work out whether it was really fair to stay with him (I wanted to so badly) but if I didn't have the same feelings was it right etc?

    I explained to him that I was pretty sure that somewhere deep down I did love him, and nothing had changed but I was just finding it hard to feel those feelings when I was either feeling so low or so numb (Sounds a bit lame, sorry :P). I guess I was lucky that he understood. And also - it did pass, I feel so much better about us now. I'm not saying that I can promise it will for you - but I'm really glad I didn't make any decisions on our future based on how I was feeling then. All the best xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou for both of your replies, my boyfriend knows how i feel and he is an absoulte diamond! he loves me love nothing else, he reasures me ALL the time. I feel very lucky to have somebody so understanding and i continuesly beat myself up about not seeing my feelings even though i know they're there! i wont give up on us and i hope once i've beaten my depression my feelings for him will start to come back. surely im not out of love with him because i still naturally hold his hand i still want to spend time with him. my therapyst told me that depression is a cycle and its so true that everything seems negative. a very hard time.

    i very much appreciate your helpful words, thankyou again and i will keep you updated on how things go :)
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