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My Boyfriends Parents are the Parents from Hell

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry for the wall of text, but i HAVE to get this out.

It all started two and a half years ago. My boyfriend and I met over the internet; he lived in California and I lived in Kansas. I was only a senior in high school at the time. We grew very close by talking on the phone and on Skype; we had alot in common because we both loved video games and a variety of other things. I really liked him before we started dating. I decided to go to California for Spring Break (It was 2 months in) and asked if it would be possible to stay at his house so I didn't have to rent a room at a hotel for a few weeks. After his parents talked to my parents, we had an okay to go on their end, but my dad didn't want me going. (I was going by myself and I was young..blah). My Mom said that his Mom sounded very nice, so I wasn't so nervous. At that time she warned me about dating an Asian, stating that their parents are very strict and what-not. I completely ignored this warning.. and to this day I regret that decision very deeply. I ended up going, and met his Mom right when I got there. She was very nice and inviting. I didn't meet his Dad at ALL during the first time I was there because he owns a laudromat and works until 10:30 every day. I would hear him come home, but i would never actually meet him. We left his house for a few days to go to his apartment in LA where he went to school. I wouldn't find this out until later, but we left because his parents have trust issues after their house got broken into and were giving him shit about me being there. Even after his Mom stated to my parents that it was perfectly fine for me to stay there. After I went back home, he ended up cheating on me. I didn't find out until five months later. He even flew to Kansas and came to my Prom during that time, as well as me flying back out a SECOND time to go see him. Allow me to mention that his DAD okay'd it this time as well. But, once again, trouble started as soon as I got there. His dad said that he had to sleep downstairs on the couch because he didn't want to set a bad example for his 16 year old sister. That was fine. What wasn't fine was the fact that everynight when he came home, he would talk shit about me to my boyfriend! My boyfriend told me that apparently it was NOT okay for me to be there, and that his Dad had even gone as far as calling me ugly! The man had never seen me! So we ended up having to leave once again for the apartment. When i was trying to get home, my plane malfunctioned twice, leaving me stranded in California for two more days. Two more that I had to spend at a HOTEL because his parents didn't have the decency to allow me to stay at the house. Rather, they wouldn't care if my parents had to spend hundreds of dollars to keep me in a hotel by the airport. After that, I felt completely helpless in the situation. I would try to talk to him about it but it was null. Shortly after I got home, he admitted to cheating on me. I stupidly decided to give him another chance, as well as move to California perminantly after i graduated for college. The past (almost 2 years) living there have been absolute hell. His parents are the most rude, filthy, heartless people I have ever met. Not to mention the fact that they make him do EVERYTHING for them! They make him do their bills, their every phonecall... they won't allow him to actually live his own life! I keep urging him to stand up for himself, which he should, because he continually complains about it but he won't. I have done about everything for them to like me; i go out of my way to say hello, i have bought them presents on occasion and everything. His sister also doesn't like me, though he refuses to admit it. His Dad constantly nags him about school, though he doesn't know a thing about school, and how he isn't doing anything. My boyfriend is in computer science major at CSUF, which he barely can get the classes he needs at because of the population of people attending, not to mention the fact the school continually fucks up his registration date. His parents never ask how he's doing in school or in general, never gives a crap about him except to use him for their own self gratification. I am stuck with the burden of having to carry his own weight on my shoulders as well as my own (i'm in Pre-Med in college), so I am constantly stressed out. My boyfriend hasn't made anything better, he's rather a bit of a drama queen when it comes to our fights; he makes the entire house know. There was a time he dragged me down the hallway yelling to his mom to "Get this bitch out of here." In which I had to sit and talk to his Mom for awhile, and it was unfortunately during one of the times I couldn't go back to my rented house because there were issues. He has almost made me out to be a monster to his family because of this; when most of the fault is his. It is extremely hard to recover from a blow like that in a reputation. I have also went to many occasions with him, like family dinners, a wedding and his sister's graduation where they are very nice and act like i'm part of the family. His mom cooks for me almost every day when I'm at his house, but his Dad continuously nags about everything. He told me his Dad asked him what he saw in our future, and he told him at the beginning he wanted a future with me. Since then he has bought me a necklace and a promise ring. His Dad I know is also racist towards me. He stated to him, which he relayed to me, that he doesn't know if he should have a future with me because I'm white and white people don't have good morals. It seriously pissed me off when I heard that. I confronted his Mom one time after one of our fights after she called me "rude" because I strongly disagreed and would not let my boyfriend slander me like that. Basically, the entire time I have built up a reputation with his parents several times just to have him ruin all of it. The past two years have been a battle from hell on trying to get them to like me. Before i left to come home this time, a week before she said "You and your girlfriend move out next month"... i don't even live there though i would stay a few days here and there. His Mom has called me fat on several occasions although I am skinny, and continuously nags my boyfriend about every little thing possible. Now, I am at home, but of COURSE this shit follows me. Last night, my boyfriend informed me that it's apparent that they don't want him dating me; it has even gone as far as his parents wanting to introduce him to their friend's daughters! I feel strongly that I want to confront them when I come back because this is way out of bounds! They are constantly nagging him about the fact I left my car a little dirty, considering the fact i've been stressed out all semester. They say I look like a "homeless person." They are filthy people themselves, so they should not be judging! I would go downstairs to the bathroom in the morning just to find "stuff" in it, they leave rotting food everywhere, and his Dad has a NASTY problem where he has to sniff and hock lugies and cough every two minutes! Even in public! This has gone way too far and my boyfriend said he's on "my side" though i really don't believe them because he stated he agrees with them! I honestly don't think I will keep fighting for this relationship and if we ever did get married and have kids, I would NOT allow them to be in my kids lives! They are the kind of people that would make my boyfriend leave anything to come and help them make a phonecall! They are near helpless, and have chosen to use their child instead of solving problems and doing things themselves which is pretty upsetting. I almost feel as though it would be better to just let it all go than to keep fighting them. They are nice to my face but then they turn around after I leave and say the most disgusting things about me! They are fake and extremely superficial. My boyfriend also says he just wants to get out of the house and leave them behind, but he's almost like a momma's boy and relies on his parents all the time! >.< I don't even know what to do anymore, but something needs to be done and it needs to be done fast. What do I do to stop this nightmare?!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Paragraphs would be nice
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I'd like to help, but I can't manage the block of text. Could you edit that?
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