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11 yr age gap

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Is an 11 year age gap too much?

I'm 28 and male.

Edit: She's Polish or Hungarian.... I cannot remember


Short but sweet question

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    11 years which way? If she's older that's probably alright, if she's younger and I were her parent, I'd be concerned
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's the older one.


    Oops. I meant 9 years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't really concern us. Why do you ask, do you think it's strange?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here's the thing.

    I haven't had a girlfriend EVER. I told someone at work that I had a crush on a lass and he told this person. I sent her a message on facebook on friday asking if she's single. And she said "no".

    Now I might try my luck with this older lass. She's 37 years old.

    I was on THREE dating sites (which I've just deleted because they're a waste of time). I put on I'm looking for women who were between 23 and 35yrs old.

    I guess two more years difference isn't all that bad.

    I'm just not sure about asking her if she's single and if she would like to go out sometime.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give it a shot! What's the worst that can happen?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Edit: She's Polish or Hungarian.... I cannot remember

    Would probably be a good thing to find out!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would probably be a good thing to find out!

    Yes it would. But I should know though. I just can't remember.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just asked someone and she's Hungarian
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're both adults.
    If you like her, go for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just as a general point and not to do with the age thing at all but you really need to avoid your opening salvo being "Are you single?". I mean, I get that you want to avoid involving yourself with people who are already attached, but when you're in those first stages, the thing to do is to strike up a friendship, not try to skip to the endgame.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone you liked isn't single, so you "might try your luck" with "this older lass".

    That's definitely a new and novel approach to dating :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Decided I cannot be arsed with her. I'd rather ask someone younger which I'm going to do
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With an attitude towards women like that, it's precious little wonder that you're single. just saying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With an attitude towards women like that, it's precious little wonder that you're single. just saying.
    I were thinking the same thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    agreed - you should take the time to get to know someone rather than "trying your luck" with just anyone!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think there is a need to be so harsh. The wording may not have been the most plesant, but is it really that different than what goes on in your head when you are/were in that situation? Find a sexy guy at the bar, you walk over there and "try your luck" with that. Then he starts showing you pictures of his kids... woah, can't be fucked with that.

    Just because ferrari isn't posting in a pc manner, can you really deny that those thoughts haven't gone through your head when in a similar situation? It isn't as if he went up to the woman and said "sorry, can't be arsed with you." What one says and what one thinks can be very different, and I'd take a bet that most of you have thought the same thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't listen to anyone who says "Go for it, age is just a number".

    Age CAN be just a number but there are times when it can be an overriding factor. I'm 38 and in all honest have NEVER acted my age. Not so much immaturity, more 'youthful' or 'growing old disgracefully'.

    Having not long come out of the most serious relationship of my life I'm nowhere near ready to start looking for another but if I was going to, then a 9 year age gap (above or below) would automatically bring up my defences. Simply put, someone closer to my own age is far more likely to have things in common with me.

    I have a 25 year old niece. The other week I was asked if I could be on taxi duty for her. When I went to pick her up I was asked to stick around the party for a while. There were plenty of people her own age there and whilst some were remarkably mature, I could hardly have felt any more OLD and out of place. I'm not just talking about the females, some of the lads were decent types, one or two were not long from qualifying as doctors. But I still felt like someone's older uncle. Well yeah I was, but you get what I'm saying.

    I certainly was not there to pull, or get back in the dating game - as I said I'm light-years away from that. But just hanging out with them felt sort of wrong.

    However this just applies to me. Everyone has their own understanding and views on these things. I'm guessing the point I'm making is just because it worked/failed for someone else doesn't mean it would be the same for you.

    Saying that, if you have to ask the question then I suspect you may already know the answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I have a 25 year old niece. The other week I was asked if I could be on taxi duty for her. When I went to pick her up I was asked to stick around the party for a while. There were plenty of people her own age there and whilst some were remarkably mature, I could hardly have felt any more OLD and out of place. I'm not just talking about the females, some of the lads were decent types, one or two were not long from qualifying as doctors. But I still felt like someone's older uncle. Well yeah I was, but you get what I'm saying.



    I went to a house party the other day, we're all 29 however the host's 16 year old cousin was present. Boy was it a weird novelty having someone so young there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My other half was 11 years older than me, and I was 6 years younger than you when we met, so I obviously think it can work.

    But a relationship is about listening. I think you need to work on that.
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