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Do they come bk if you're not good in bed

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
A random question regarding casual sex if a guy thinks you're crap I'n bed would he come back i was told i was good but u can never b sure

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on how he feels about things.

    But there's a lot of reasons even if you were good in bed that he might not want to carry on.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much; casual sex is casual so you don't think about it! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    A random question regarding casual sex if a guy thinks you're crap I'n bed would he come back i was told i was good but u can never b sure

    I was in the reverse situation. I wasn't sexually active for quite some time and then I met a girl I am very casual with. I was completely shit in bed and she came back time and time again. Finally I've overcome my issues and everything is crisp and nice. We did ensure each other that we are not doing a "only one night" thing beforehand, so there's that.

    So yes, it is possible. If you are just one of many tho, and really just a pull from a night out, then probably not so much (because often times you won't meet up for more, even if the sex was good).

    And this might sound horribly sexist, but in my opinion it is a lot harder to be crap in bed as a girl. So even if you are not doing much, it is still going to be alright.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I was in the reverse situation. I wasn't sexually active for quite some time and then I met a girl I am very casual with. I was completely shit in bed and she came back time and time again. Finally I've overcome my issues and everything is crisp and nice. We did ensure each other that we are not doing a "only one night" thing beforehand, so there's that.

    So yes, it is possible. If you are just one of many tho, and really just a pull from a night out, then probably not so much (because often times you won't meet up for more, even if the sex was good).
    And this might sound horribly sexist, but in my opinion it is a lot harder to be crap in bed as a girl. So even if you are not doing much, it is still going to be alright.

    We met up a few times before sex happened. Anyway he said twice i am good but also knows he's gone off with other girls after me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's more about what sort of relationship they want with you.

    If it's about the sex, they'll come back as long as a) you put out, b) they've not found someone they want to be monogamous with and c) you stay in contact. The "quality" of the sex really is quite irrelevant, it's about how they want to handle things. Some men want a fuck buddy so will come back for more until they get a girlfriend (and sometimes will keep coming back even then...) but some men just want the one night stand and to never see you again.

    Also, I'd agree with StrubbleS to an extent: it is harder for girls to be "crap" in bed, because most men generally take the rather vulgar view that every hole's a goal. Women don't have the same issues about stamina or maintaning an erection, although that's not to dismiss the pressures women face now because of the pornification of everything and anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    We met up a few times before sex happened. Anyway he said twice i am good but also knows he's gone off with other girls after me

    Is it the same guy as in the relationship thread?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Is it the same guy as in the relationship thread?

    no
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's more about what sort of relationship they want with you.

    If it's about the sex, they'll come back as long as a) you put out, b) they've not found someone they want to be monogamous with and c) you stay in contact. The "quality" of the sex really is quite irrelevant, it's about how they want to handle things. Some men want a fuck buddy so will come back for more until they get a girlfriend (and sometimes will keep coming back even then...) but some men just want the one night stand and to never see you again.

    Also, I'd agree with StrubbleS to an extent: it is harder for girls to be "crap" in bed, because most men generally take the rather vulgar view that every hole's a goal. Women don't have the same issues about stamina or maintaning an erection, although that's not to dismiss the pressures women face now because of the pornification of everything and anything.

    just ive heard that after he has seen me he has gone to the pub and back to this 50 year old who puts out every wkend apparantly makes me feel like am i not good enough that he cant stay with me for the night
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    just ive heard that after he has seen me he has gone to the pub and back to this 50 year old who puts out every wkend apparantly makes me feel like am i not good enough that he cant stay with me for the night

    So you want some dude who screws whatever does not sit on a tree at the count of three to come back to you? I give you good advice: Stop determining your value as a person what random pub whores think of you. You apparently have a romantic interest (other thread) and you should be focusing on that and not ponder about some guy who sticks it in whatever available.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jacobs_gal wrote: »
    A random question regarding casual sex if a guy thinks you're crap I'n bed would he come back i was told i was good but u can never b sure

    I think the key word here is 'casual' because regardless of whether or not the sex was good or bad if the encounter was seen as a casual one, by either one, or both parties then by all accounts it isn't likely to matter much either way. It will simply either be viewed as an experience or moment that was pleasurable or not; either way there will be no onus or commitment to repeat the experience again unless both parties decide otherwise.

    However you say that the individual concerned already has a girlfriend so personally I think that, that is more likely to be a factor in his decision of whether or not to he would repeat the experience; rather than whether or not the sex was viewed as good or bad.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tend to find girls do come back: they come back one more time just to double check I really was that terrible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi jacobs_gal,

    It can be hard to figure out whether someone likes you or wants to see you again after a one-night stand (or a few one-night stands).

    Like many people said how "good" you were in bed probably hasn't got an effect on his decision to come back or leave. If he is willing to meet other girl and sleep with them, it might just mean he isn't ready for anything monogamous.

    Do you like this guy? Would you like to see him again, whether it be just sexual or for a relationship? Perhaps think about what you would like and maybe have a chat with him?

    Do let us know how you get one *hug*
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