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What's the point?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel really distant and empty.
I don't see the point in doing anything because i know I'll just fuck it up.
I do want to see my friends but I just don't see the point if they don't want to see me, i've asked to see a few of them and they agreed but they only agreed because they know I'm suicidal, they don't really want to see me.
The one thing I really want is for someone to just hold me so I can know everything can be ok, but no one will.
My family is a failing, the girl I love doesn't love me, my friends don't like me and my future is none existent.
I really do just want to end it all. I don't deserve to live.
What's the point?
I don't see the point in doing anything because i know I'll just fuck it up.
I do want to see my friends but I just don't see the point if they don't want to see me, i've asked to see a few of them and they agreed but they only agreed because they know I'm suicidal, they don't really want to see me.
The one thing I really want is for someone to just hold me so I can know everything can be ok, but no one will.
My family is a failing, the girl I love doesn't love me, my friends don't like me and my future is none existent.
I really do just want to end it all. I don't deserve to live.
What's the point?
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Comments
I am sorry to hear that your feeling so low at the moment. Obviously you don't have to answer any of the following but it might help us, help you...
You said you don't see the point in doing anything because you'll fuck up...is this based on your suicidal feelings or is it based on things that have happened so you feel like you always fuck up?
You mention not wanting to see your friends if the only reason they agree to see you is because your suicidal...have they told you this? The reason I ask is because of my recent personal experience. I lost my dad and grandad in Feb and I shut myself off from all my friends. Eventually I convinced myself that they only would see me because they felt sorry for me. Once I did meet with them though I realised they do genuinely care they just didn't know what was best and so left me to guide them/tell them how to help me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is could they be worried about you but unsure of how to help? In which case maybe you could tell them how best they can support you?
Although none of us can be supportive in person to you, we all support each other on this site and will listen and support you in the best way we can.
Can you say a little more about what makes you feel your future is non-existant?
I also just want to point you in the direction of the Samaritans. They offer a confidential, non-judgemental service and are there to offer support, especially whilst your feeling suicidal. You can call or email them and are available 24/7. They have been a lifeline for me when I've felt like ending it all would be the best option.
As I said..only answer/post as much as you want to. I also just want to say well done for taking that first step and posting on here. It takes a lot to reach out and ask for support.
It's the depression that is causing you to feel as you do....
Clinical depression is an illness that will respond to treatment...
The sooner you get into treatment, the sooner you will feel better...
If you are getting treatment at the moment, then go back to see your doctor and tell them what you have said here...
At the moment you might find it difficult to see the point of doing anything ... which is a classic symptom of depression ... but try and remember a time when you felt happy, and keep in mind that once recovered you will be able to feel like that again.
Jed
I'm finished crying about my problems to other people, it doesn't make anything better, it just makes everything worse. Thanks anyway.
Getting well again won't get rid of your problems, but you will feel more able to cope with them.
Jed
Thank you for your advice, but I'm leaving the forum, I shouldn't waste your time.
One of the symptoms of depression is finding it difficult to anticipate positive outcomes, which can cause people to feel that there is no point in seeking treatment.
Once the treatment starts to take effect, the chances are you will wish you had contacted your doctor earlier.
Jed
that's what i had to do, and now i am happy. but never ever ever think you don't deserve to be here, think about it.
In response to Whitelillies, my friends didn't see me often before all this. I have told them I want company and I want to be part of their lives, but nothing really changed.
My future is non-existent because I've fucked up my education.
Also, I've called Samaritans before, they weren't very good, they upset me more than anything :P
I've still not got help, but I am building the courage to ask.
It's a nice idea Lottie, but I just don't see the point.